Robin, at my husband's service, the Pastor said not to dwell on the "would haves-could-haves-should haves)". Just remember the happy times. There are no answers to the "whys", also. My Bo was given 3 to 5 years. He made it through 1 1/2 years. He suffered for the last 8 months of his life. I lost my love almost 4 months ago. Life without him hurts so much, I feel the pain in my body and my heart. I'm depressed and very grouchy. I find myself snapping at the littlest things. I just want to be left alone and family wants me to enjoy the season. HELLO! They have their spouses by their side, shopping, decorating. I have nothing but a huge pain in my heart that does not go away. I wish they would let me grieve in my own way. I know they mean well, but they can NEVER understand the pain till they lose their reason for living. We will make it through this season, Robin, it's almost over.
With Warm Aloha, Linda B.
Robin, my Bo had stage 3 lung cancer. He stopped smoking 30 years ago and he was not a heavy smoker.
I just had a disagreement with my mom yesterday. She wants me to join them and some friends for a lunch get together at her home. They are HER friends and I did not feel up to making small talk with HER friends. She just could not understand why I did not want to do that. She tries to make me feel guilty by telling me that they went to my husband's service.........DUH......so what? I don't owe these people anything. I am grateful that they paid their respects, but I don't owe them ANYTHING! My mom is just like your sister. She cannot understand why I cannot move on. On top of all the pain and heartache I must endure, I have to deal with her nagging. Mom, I'm 62 years old! Enough is enough! Some days I just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head and hide from the world. But I cannot do that. I have a 42 year old son with a mental disability, and a little chihuahua that needs my care.