I wonder if time will heal the hurt, right now I kind of doubt it. Forty-two years best buds lovers and inseparable, what now?

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I sure hope so, Paulette. I can't see me in this dark, black hole for the rest of my life. I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face again.
You know sometimes I think I'm doing o.k.then all of a sudden something will happen and I'm back to square one.I guess we just have to muddle through this at our own pace.I think the pain is always there but certain circustances enhance it.I wish I had an answer.Be kind to yourself.I find i'm angry alot more.Even if I don't exhibit it .If anyone has the answer please let me know.Kathy
Kathy, I here you when you think things are going okay, then something happens you are back to square one. I love these people say it'll get better. I wonder how they know everyone is different. I'm not angry, I just hope he knows how much I miss him and love him.
I would like to know the answer too. I lost my beloved partner 2 days before Christmas from an unexpected brain aneurysm. We were together 11 years, never apart, even during the day. We worked together and played together. How are you dealing with the absence of a part of you?
Paulette said:
Kathy, I here you when you think things are going okay, then something happens you are back to square one. I love these people say it'll get better. I wonder how they know everyone is different. I'm not angry, I just hope he knows how much I miss him and love him.
Paulette,I think I'm angry because he's not here.He took my heart with him.I just feel empty.The first time i went grocery shopping i ran out crying.I couldn't buy all the foods I would have bought for him.We were together for 46 years.It wasn't suppose to be like this.We were suppose to retire and travel and do fun things.Your loss is so soon you're probably in shock.When that numbness wore off that's when I got mad.I think you're doing real good to be able to talk to him,I'm still mad at mine!!I said til death do us part,but I didn't mean it,I want him back!Good Luck and keep up the good work!
I feel so guilty because he was suffering in the end he didn't want to lay in bed this was not him. He was a proud man and he didn't want to lose his dignity. He didn't want me changing him and bathing him and feeding him. He said he was stick in a 4x6 box. In the last month I was praying for God to come and get him. Now I feel so bad because he's gone and I don't want him to be gone.
Paulette said:
M Shelton said:
I would like to know the answer too. I lost my beloved partner 2 days before Christmas from an unexpected brain aneurysm. We were together 11 years, never apart, even during the day. We worked together and played together. How are you dealing with the absence of a part of you?
It's very hard dealing with his absence, he is very much a part of me. We were inseparable we did everything together, shopping going out just for a ride ourdoor sports. Just walking and enjoying each others company. We know the outcome of his illness but no matter what your never ready.
You are so right.i hear about having to deal with long term illness and you suffered too.My husband died suddenly.But I just don't think we're prepared to go on alone.Especially after being together so long.WE were more in love now than in the beginng.I think we appreciated each other so much more.I'm sure you feel like half of you is missing.I know I do.But being able to express ourselves is helpful.I can't really burdine my family,then I upset them,So this venue is critical to my mental health.Hang in there,we're all in the same shape.Keep doing what your doing and hopefully you'll feel better soon,.Kathy
you feel like I do, I don't like to burden the family, they have their own worrys. Your right being married so long you kind of read each others thoughts. Yes I feel like half of me is gone. My husband was a planner and a thinker, and he wanted to be sure I was taken care of after he was gone, for that I'm grateful. Knowing what he was going through and to be thinking of my well being, is way beyond my way of thinking. It's nice talking to you and you hang in there too. Paulette

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