14 Months

Hi friends, it was 14 months ago today that my best friend left to go to heaven. Yes, I miss him, I want him back with me to hold my hand, talk to me, give me the strength he always did...but....I know I can't have him back here with me, but everyday, every moment Brad is with me, holding my hand, talking to me and he is giving me strength to go on. Today I did a lot of thinking and I am so thankful that I had that time with him, we had a "fairy tale" life, together 24/7/365 and yes while I do miss that, I thank him for the time we had together and I truly believe that one day we will be together holding hands again.When the day comes for me to go to heaven I know he will be standing there waiting for me. Until then all I can do is be positive for him, he gave me so much, this is the least I can do for him. I didn't think I'd make it this far, and there are days when I don't think I can go on, but then I find that I can go on and make him proud of me. It was a sad day today but I thank all of you who hold me up when I'm ready to fall down. Just had to get this out. Hugs and love to all of you, my friends!

P.S. I know Brad has sent each and everyone to me!!

Barb

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Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on October 5, 2010 at 9:10pm

Hi Barb, am thinking of you on this day and am with you, you know. Everyday is a sad day for us and we will continue to do and feel a little better and stronger. Our spouse would want us to carry on. They chose it for themselves and deserve you to do the same. Even though is seems impossible.We are all struggling to carry on and thats why we can share on this site. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on October 5, 2010 at 9:28pm

Barb,

So sorry for your sad day today, mine was last weekend, so I know the drill of the meltdown. I have read your postings, they are always positive and inspiring. Your husband would be proud of the way you are handling everything. He will be waiting for you when its your time to receive your reward in Heaven, but until then, continue to cherish your beautiful memories with Brad. Some people never experience a "Fairy Tale" life, you are blessed that you did, and will again in eternity.

Take care and God bless,
Nancy

Permalink Reply by Jerry on October 5, 2010 at 9:34pm

Hello Barb, we all want our spouses back, but we will have to wait for the time when our Lord says it is to be . I do believe that my wife would not want me to stay home and sulk. I know she would want me to be strong and help out our children raising their kids. We always talked about taking care of my elderly mother and aunt, and thats what has been keeping me busy. In the past few weeks this has been a major effort for me, and I have felt guilty because I have not had time to grieve. I just hope I can keep it toghter with the holidays coming up, and soon after the first anniversery of my dear wifes passing. I am sure this site will be busy at that time, glad that there is somewhere where we can try to help each other.

Permalink Reply by bc on October 5, 2010 at 10:12pm

Thanks everyone for your support. I know you are all here for me and for that I am so very thankful and blessed. It's just been one of those days, you know how it goes. Tomorrow is a new day. Hugs to all of you and as Randy says,, "hugs are good"!

Jerry said:

Hello Barb, we all want our spouses back, but we will have to wait for the time when our Lord says it is to be . I do believe that my wife would not want me to stay home and sulk. I know she would want me to be strong and help out our children raising their kids. We always talked about taking care of my elderly mother and aunt, and thats what has been keeping me busy. In the past few weeks this has been a major effort for me, and I have felt guilty because I have not had time to grieve. I just hope I can keep it toghter with the holidays coming up, and soon after the first anniversery of my dear wifes passing. I am sure this site will be busy at that time, glad that there is somewhere where we can try to help each other.

Permalink Reply by Yvonne on October 5, 2010 at 10:46pm

Hi Barb
I have been thinking of you all day. I know how hard it is. Yesterday was 41 years ago that Larry and I met, tomorrow is Larry's birthday, Friday is mine, and Saturday is 14 months that he is gone and 40 years that we were engaged. I have been in a fog the last 10 days or so. I can't seem to get my act together. I just kind of mope around the house and don't really want to seem to do anything. I have to get my act together, this is not good. It is Thanksgiving this weekend so all the family will be around. Maybe I can pull out of my funk then. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and send you big hugs. Take care.

Permalink Reply by Virginia on October 6, 2010 at 2:41am

stay strong, it's one day at a time always. i hope the new job works out for you. hugs

Permalink Reply by Marlena on October 6, 2010 at 7:17am

Hi Barb,
It's amazing how fast time flies by, and then in the next breath it has been forever since we've seen and held onto our loves. It is wonderful that Brad is your source of strength to face each new day. He will always be by your side. I know the fairytale life as well. If only our happily every afters had lasted a whole lot longer....if only! I think about you often and send prayers and good thoughts up for all of us. Take care, my friend.
Hugs to you!

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on October 6, 2010 at 9:43am

Hi all, just wanted to say...hugs to all. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on October 6, 2010 at 11:04am

barb: yes brad is and will always be with you. maybe in spirit only he knows you got a new job and meeting new people. be strong for him and you will succed in everything you do. i am sure brad is saying that is my girl barb i am very proud of her good luck with your job

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on October 6, 2010 at 11:18am

Kathy, I agree with you on your message to Barb Its funny how some people have the very same thought at the same time. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by bc on October 6, 2010 at 3:50pm

Thanks Yvonne, I had alot of firsts in one week in June, it was tough, but somehow, someway I got through it. I'm not looking forward to the holidays at all, but I guess memories will get me through, along with my family and all of you. Thinking and praying for you this week, as always! Love to you and Hugs!

Yvonne said:

Hi Barb
I have been thinking of you all day. I know how hard it is. Yesterday was 41 years ago that Larry and I met, tomorrow is Larry's birthday, Friday is mine, and Saturday is 14 months that he is gone and 40 years that we were engaged. I have been in a fog the last 10 days or so. I can't seem to get my act together. I just kind of mope around the house and don't really want to seem to do anything. I have to get my act together, this is not good. It is Thanksgiving this weekend so all the family will be around. Maybe I can pull out of my funk then. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and send you big hugs. Take care.

Permalink Reply by bc on October 6, 2010 at 3:53pm

Thanks Kathy, I know he is proud of me, I can feel it, but it sure would be nice to come home from work and have him to share my day with. My daughter is so supportive and listens to me, but its not the same. Brad used to have to tell me to stop and breathe because we always talked everything over and I guess I'd get going and not know when to stop. He would laugh and say, slow down we have all the time in the world....guess not.

kathy obiedzinski said:

barb: yes brad is and will always be with you. maybe in spirit only he knows you got a new job and meeting new people. be strong for him and you will succed in everything you do. i am sure brad is saying that is my girl barb i am very proud of her good luck with your job