My story begins January 19th,2009. I woke up to find my daughter,who was 2, cuddled to my back and not moving. My son, who was 1, was saying "mama" many times... so I told him to go get his daddy bc he had somehow taken his diaper off. I started calling my husband's name... with no answer. This was nothing new bc although Shawn could hear any slight noise those kids made during his sleep, he could never hear me... so, I got up to look at the base of the bed where he and Connor were sleeping and he was there not breathing. I freaked out. Checked to see if he was breathing and when i felt his face he was cold. But his stomach was so warm. So I called 911. They came immediately and talked me through cpr as i was on the phone... i remember sitting on my sofa begging god to not take my husband... pleading with him... i remember reliving our week at disney the week prior... i remember just thinking he can't leave me... what was i going to do without him... i made the coroner tell me he was dead despite knowing in my heart he was. to add to the day, the coroner called later and said my kids should be taken to the dr bc it is possible they had what he did and they should be checked out...the kids were hospitalized for 2 days after that... with dehydration and a bad stomach bug. So there I sat. Alone- but not really- in a hospital room... with my mother and father...and my two kids... but my 27 year old husband was dead...i didn't receive much support from his family... in fact, when i wouldnt have the funeral up where they were- 3 hours from me with 2 sick kids- they called the funeral home to see if they could borrow the body for their funeral...kid you not. his sister called the coroner's office and asked if i-kept him from going to the hospital, if money kept us from going, or if he was mentally able to make those decisions on his own... kid you not...
when they entered the funeral home- did they say two words to me- no... they brushed past me...said that wasnt their sun...carried on that his weight loss killed him.. and then his sister had the nerve to get up after i spoke... everything was about them...and to this day has been about them...they keep trying to have something to do with my kids. but my role is simple- to make sure these kids have the best up bringing i can give them and to make sure that they always know what an amazing man their dad was. and with them in our lives, none of that would be possible. i lost my husband 6 days before i turned 28. 2009 has been a horrible year... but i am coping. My quote i live by is simple. "You will never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"

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My heart goes out to you and your children. No one could ever know the emotions that you go through when you lose someone you love. and to top it off to get shunned well its completely uncalled for, almost as if they had no sympathy in their hearts. For some amazing reason i feel god has many reasons why he takes our loved ones. And he never gives us more than we can handle. We find our strength through the worst of a trial. I always tell my kids (their 13 years old) that their dad was someone special and it was his time to go up in heaven and help the angels. I pray that you and your children regain your strength and love to go on. So much is gained by our loss even though we'd rather have our husbands here instead, but reality is we must go on and start a new life. If you even need to talk please feel free.
Liz, my heart bleeds for you and your young children. Unfortunately in this crazy world you are not alone. I myself have lost a husband at the age of 26. Three short months after being married. I think this forum is a great way to get in touch with those who truly "understand what you're going through." If you would like to chat more in depth and without everyone to see please feel free to e-mail me. Maybe we can help each other through these horrible tragedies.

I will keep you in my thoughts!
Take heart, Liz, you are a strong woman and mother, and your children are blessed to have you to carry on parenting them alone, and to keep the memory of their father alive for them. My husband suddenly died last month, at age 54, and I can still hardly believe he's gone. Our 3 children are young adults living at home with me, but they are disabled and completely dependent on me, so I have to keep going, as you do for your young children. I pray for us both to find "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." Even though it's hard for me to imagine hope right now, I do have faith that hope will return in time.


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