I recently lost my wife on Sep 12th. She died from a pulmonary embolism, one of the larger ones the coroner had seen. We were married for almost 10 years and known each other for 12. I had filed for divorce at the end of July because of issues with drinking and such that happened at the beginning of June. We hadn't seen each other since June 3rd when this all started. This is really tearing at me because she was my soulmate. I never stopped loving or caring for her, I just couldn't live with the issues anymore.
I have been accused of killing her by her family. I was forced to recind all rights to the funeral or 'else'. I've had death threats, harassment, etc. you name it, it's happened. Just weeks before I walked on water. My mother came in from out of state to help and threats were thrown at her. I had to stop the rest of my family from coming because of this. This all happened before the coroner found out what really took her. She had a history of alcoholism and prescription drug abuse. Mind you, I don't have this problem. I did everything I could to keep her clean and sober. But apparently it wasn't enough, I didn't die from trying. It was exhausting to say the least.
I was told that if I shown up to the funeral that I would be shot and my legs would be broken. All by her mother. Yes, I've filed reports with the police because you never know if she would follow through.
Even after the determination of her death, I haven't gotten an apology or the chance to visit her graveside. I'm still waiting for her wedding rings so that I can have them soldered with mine. It's like I'm incomplete in all this.
How do I find peace in all this? My heart aches everyday and I can't always fight back the tears. I feel so alone.