My beloved husband 'John' passed away just 1 month ago, he passed away October 26, 2009. I didn't give anything away yet, his roller walker still in the front porch of my house. his clothes and shoes, still the way he left in our bedroom. even his tooth brush still in the same place. I was talking to a pastor days after my husband died, and he told me that I will know when I am ready to give his things away. So far I am not ready yet. Even his 15 diffferent medications, including insulin still the way he just left. I still no able to sleep in our bed....I just can't, I feel uncomfortable. I just changed the sheets, and bed cover. Question, was your husband Veteran? Cause mine was. Regarding how long you should wait...it is up to you Linda. Do that when you are ready okay.
My husband "Billy" died Nov 2, 2009. He was a Marine Veteran of the Vietnam war (did not retire from Marines). I want to appeal his VA denials, and feel that it will be useless - they won't cover his cancer and don't recognize the fact that herbicides caused it. He had Pancreatic Cancer - once it reoccured, it only took about 2 months.
It's almost a month, and I feel like I am going through the motions of life. Today I did some crying - not an everyday thing now. I just miss him and wish he did not have to go. He was "ready to go" and tired of the pain and no quality of life for some time.
The grown kids took a couple of things before they returned home - not much, the rest of his things are where he left them. I now realize he did not have much here. Boots under the chair in his room - he moved to the guest room because the mattress was softer and he slept alone because he did not want to wake me in the middle of the night and said I may touch him in the middle of the night - too painful. I now sleep in his bed to try and feel closer to him - but I can't get closer. I don't want to sleep in our bed any more.
I changed my cell phone contacts to Billy's phone and use it now. That makes me feel a little better.
I don't know what stage of grieving I am in - doesn't really matter I guess, just not sure how to get through all this, everyone else seems so normal and life goes on. "Everything changes but everything stays the same".
Thanks so much for the letter. My husband only filed 2 appeals then gave up. Upon my initial talk with the VA they said I should appeal on my behalf. Billy only received benefits for the last 3 years. He was one of the old style vets who did not want to take anything, he did his service and it was over.
I want to persue this on behalf of all those who supported our country and that they all be treated fairly and recognized! you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org