I have wondered about these things, as well - I know my husband (he died on 29 June 2009) had faith, and was a believer, and yet I also know that he was very, very angry with God over the pain and suffering he endured.
That being said, I believe the Scripture that says, "mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13); I believe that God is big enough to deal with my husband's anger, and that my husband has found forgiveness, healing and health with God. I believe that he is young, handsome and beautiful, again - that he can walk, leap and run (he hadn't been able to walk for the last two years), and that I will see him, again.
The last six months were truly horrible - he had hepatic encephalopathy, which meant his brain was affected - he could be sweet and loving, but he could also be nasty, irrational and angry. He said some hurtful things to me, out of his intense agony and suffering, and I replied in kind. However, just as I have fully and freely forgiven him, I feel his love and total forgiveness for me.
In Mark 12, verse 18 (I am using the New American Standard translation), a group of Sadduccees, Jewish scholars who did not believe in resurrection, asked Jesus about a woman who had been married seven times - to her husband and his brothers. Their question in verse 23: "In the resurrection, when they rise again, which one's wife will she be? For all seven had married her". Jesus replies that people "do not marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven" (verse 25).
So, He seems to indicate that there is no marriage in heaven, but that we are alive. That being said, I do believe that we will recognize our loved ones, and they us, and we will have some kind of relationship with them, but I am not certain what it is.
That your beloved is aware of you - I do believe, because my husband did ask me to promise him (several times) that I would not commit suicide because I didn't want to live without him. I don't quite know just _how_ aware he is of me, but that he is aware of me and still connected with me, on some level - I am sure of.
Oh, I long to know all kinds of things - are there babies in Heaven (I sure hope so - I want to play with them!), are there pets or animals in Heaven - again, I sure hope so! I think whatever we find when we get there, it will be more than we can imagine or think of, here on Earth.
Blessings and peace be upon you - Yaca Attwood
Yes! This has actually been a subject in my therapy sessions for a few weeks now. I worry about where my husband is, if he's happy, if he can see me etc. The other major question I have is what did he experience in that moment of death?Did his life flash before his eyes? Did it hurt? What did he think of?
I worried about my husband in life, and now that has carried on to worrying about him in death.
I'm so curious to know the answers and I know I won't have them until I die (hopefully anyway). I'm not a religious person so it's really hard for me to imagine what happens after life.
I'm guessing that questions like this are probably 'normal' in the grieving process. I'm wondering if it might help if you wrote down all of your questions. Do you keep a journal? I find it helpful to write my questions, worries and frustrations down. It can also help you see how much progress you've made over time too. Of course, coming here and getting answers from others in your position is also a great idea :) I know I was relieved to read your post since the questions you listed are ones that have been coming fast and furious for me lately!