Fiance' Passed Sunday 11/22 - Funeral and Burial today...Not allowed to attend

I think the title pretty much says it all. His daughter (only child) and grandsons and soon to be ex son-in-law and I are close. Unfortunately, he died one day before our appointment with his attorney to change all of the paperwork. His ex-wife of 8 years is in charge. I was told I would be arrested if I came to the service or burial. Okay, I can go say my private good-bye without her around. I guess what I don't understand, they were divorced 8 years. His daughter is her step-daughter......she has locked his daughter out of his house and threatened to have his daughter arrested if she set foot on the property. I KNOW FOR A FACT that he wanted his daughter and grandsons to have the house if anything happened to him.
I've taken the high road and stayed away from the service today so as not to cause his daughter and grandsons any additional stress. I have no family here where I live so have no support system.

I've been through a lot of tragedy in my life that I've managed to survive, but I can't see my life going on without him. I've never lost someone this close to me. I don't know how to handle it and go on. I own my own Company, and I KNOW I need to go on, but I don't think I have the strength anymore. I've begged God for strength...but so far, no luck....

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Penny sorry for your lost. Maybe you can set aside a special place in your home in memory of him and lite a candle with his picture nearby. I'm new to sadness myself my beloved husband passed two weeks ago. May God watch over us and give us strenght. Kath A
I am so sorry for your terrible loss, Penny, and the "piling on" from the family of your beloved.

Unfortunately, it seems that "dead presidents" are really in charge here - the ex-wife appears to be very afraid that others might have a claim upon any funds or properties involved. I think that you care far, far more about the loss of this man than any material things, and it is too bad that your loss is not being honored!

Perhaps you and the daughter can have a "Light Up A Life" ceremony of your own (the hospice that cared for my husband (he died on 29 June 2009) had one, and it meant so much) - you could gather photos, memories, stories, whatever, share them with each other (perhaps others, as well), then light a candle in memory.

This woman CANNOT take YOUR memories or grief away - that is one thing she cannot do. Peace and blessings be upon you - Yaca Attwood
Penny, I'm sorry for your loss. I to lost a husband in Jan. 23, 2008......than in that December at a Hospice support group meeting I met someone who needed help with a genealogy project, which I had experience with. We worked on it for a while and realized we had a lot more in common. Our realationship and companionship was great at our ages . 66 and he was 70. His wife's 1 yr anniv was Aug 21 and her Anniv Mass was Aug 23. My husband's birthday was Aug 10, her's Aug 19 and my husband's birthday all w/in a couple weeks time. I called Bobby on Monday answer. I knew he had an early Dr. apt. I called again. No answer, figured he was in the shower. I waited until I thought the ofc visit was finished. I called answer. I got in my car to go check and I found him Dead.......Horrible Day!!! I have cried every day since. He was finally at a point in our relationship to let his familyand wife's family know about us.....that was the Sunday and I know he died the Monday night when he didn't answer the phone. I have been to individual counseling, grief support groups and on meds since. His family gave me a couple items of his today......a picture I had taken of him that they used at the wake and a glass mug with his work logo on it........that's all. No one in his family knew about us. My family did and they loved him. The daughter in law asked me if I had asked for anything I would have wanted when they were cleaning out his house. I told her ""You all "never" asked me if I wanted anything". I was totally left out. I realize now that I need to move on and not mourn someone who is a ghost to me. I have no one to relate to of him.........not his family or friends. I wasn't his widow.......just my husband's. This has been the worse loss I've had. I think finding him dead keeps flashing in my mind and I can't get rid of that picture. Hopefuly in time it will ease and I can findsome and eventually move on. I know he would be turning over in his grave about all of this. This was not Bobby. I can relate to some of your grief. I do hope in time you get the strength to move on.........I know I will!! Take care and keep in touch......Jenny


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