Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by J on December 3, 2009 at 8:09pm

Anita-

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this on top of your grieveing for losing Malcolm. He was in a relationship with you and not her and he loved you and not her. It sounds like she's jealous of your relationship with him and maybe she feels guilty about their past relationship?

I'm thinking of you and hoping that the vultures leave you alone :)

Permalink Reply by Showbiz Kid on December 3, 2009 at 8:34pm

I'm so sorry to hear this...but people are evil so often. My husband was an alcoholic LONG before I ever met him. I didn't get married til I was 33 and he was 37...at any rate...we were together thru happy and sad and abusive times until I could take no more in summer '04. He had been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation and he already had diabetes. We separated but in Feb. 05 he pleaded to come home because our cat was very ill. I agreed. 3 days later I found my husband dead in the living room. His whole family, except one son, BLAMED ME FOR KILLING HIM! It was so horrible. I loved him and tried to help him and the main culprit (except my evil mother in law) was my STEP DAUGHTER, whom we had custody of and I RAISED!
You know what is the truth and so does God.
Just try (and it's hard) to let it all go....
If you ever need to chat I'm elvisrocks1@comcast.net.
It has been almost 5 years and I am not healed. I dream about him nearly
EVERY night. But I did everything I could. He didn't want to be helped.
Take care of yourself...you have to put yourself first now.
Carol

Permalink Reply by Rhonda on December 25, 2009 at 7:32pm

Death and grief is like alcohol, it can expose wounds, break open scabs, and highlight the inner truths that we are too ashamed to expose under "normal" circumstances. My husband's family as well as my son became very nasty towards me after my husband's death. It is sad that out of a loss, certain people would rather create negativity than find hope and peace. I just have to remind myself that they are expressing how they feel, heightened to the extreme, but it is how they feel nonetheless and I don't need anyone that is anything less than supportive and loving in my life, whether or not they are 'family'. You DONT have to tolerate it, so don't. You, like me, hold on to hope that certain people will turn around and change if you keep giving the other cheek, but all that will do is cause them to keep hurting you more and more.