I thought I was really getting sick - I have no drive, no ambition, and I don't care if I get them back. All I want to do is watch TV when I get home from work. Thank the Lord I have a dog that keeps me sane cause she needs my care, etc. but without my husband around me every day - I'm lost.
Yes, I am having the same difficulties. Since Brandon passed I have made myself get up every morning, take a shower and get dressed. Some days that doesn't happen until 3pm, but it happens. My house looks like a tornado hit it and it's very frustrating, but I don't have the energy to clean. I have spurts of energy about once every 2 weeks and so some things get accomplished, but not much.
I understand about pushing yourself to go to the grocery store. I have to do the same thing. I used to cook 5 nights/week and so planning meals, grocery shopping and cooking were big parts of my life. I have cooked one meal since 10/4/09 everything else has been frozen, or something that someone has brought to the house.
I don't let the lack of motivation discourage me though. I try to be easy on myself. As much as I want the house clean, I let it be dirty until I find that sweet spot of motivation and then try to get lots done. It's very hard though, and very easy to get 'stuck' (that's why I at least push myself to get out of bed every day).
Last weekend I found that motivation and cleaned our bedroom and the bathrooms. It felt and feels really good to walk in those rooms now and that has given me even more motivation. I'm taking baby steps and hoping that they lead to adult steps one day.
Grieving is really, really hard work.
I feel exactly the same as you. I prefer to be alone. I sleep a lot. There is so much to do here in the house and all I do all day is watch The Golden Girls on tv with my pup. I think it is a stage of grieving. It's been three months for me and I'm still in this stage. You are not alone.
With Warm Aloha, Linda B.
First of, fantastic picture. I am in the same place as you except I have no one or nothing to motivate me out of bed. I sleep about 12 hrs a day leaving me in bed til 2 or 3 p.m. Eating hasn't changed a lot. If my daughter comes and cooks I will eat but cooking, it makes me sick to my stomach. I just went to the store and got vitamins for depression cause it is so bad. I have no energy at all and I was suprised when I was told to stay off of any stimulants to increase my energy for it causes more depression. Olivia, as you know we share the same horrible day and it seems like just yesturday. I can not get it out of my mind, no matter how hard I try. Friends get angry cause they want me back. I can't come back for its like this grief is got such a strong grip on me and I can't shake it off. I have made little effort in finding a job and I haven't had to leave my home yet so I know this depression is only going to get worse when my finacial security is taken away. I wish there was a magic pill that instantly takes away all this pain immediately. I read that accupuncture helps with deppression and so I'm going to see about that. Please do all you can. I can talk and give advise but taking my own advise is impossible it seems