Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Richard Meier on January 15, 2010 at 11:26pm

Hello Debbie, I like others can sympathize with you. I just lost my wife of 38 years , last month to a stroke at only age 58. The first couple of weeks were real tough. Between counselling twice a week , talking to people going to church and my friends here and at other sites like this I am starting to come out of it .That first couple of weeks I had several thoughts of ending it and joining her but I stopped and thought what it would do to my children, and they are older so I changed my mind.There is a group that I belong to, www.dailystrength.org that is real good. Church has been almost the best. I was not religious till this happened. Now I go every week and some times more.Every one is here for you just like they were for me. I was the biggest doubter but it will get better, I promise

Permalink Reply by Jill on January 16, 2010 at 12:10am

Hi Debbie,
I am sorry for your pain, I know my hubby left 2 months ago and I just die inside a little more each day, it doesn't get easier for me at all and to know you are still in that must pain after 2 years confirm my broken heart will never mend.
I am also new to this site and am trying to learn how it works found this site 2 days ago. I do like this site and feel a little comforted by knowing that I'm not the anyone hurting so much. It comforting to read all their stories. It helps, cause I just can't talk to my friends anyone, they try and comfort me, but they truly have no idea what I am going through. Please feel free to write any time, I am here. I hope this site help you and I both.
Jill

Permalink Reply by Susan W Reynolds on January 16, 2010 at 8:26am

I believe the missing remains as does the love. One way I vision my life with my husband , who died at 57 when I was 49, is that our relationship and life together is like a two layer cake. Our kids and experienced layered in between with sweet frosting. Now as I move forward I add some more icing around the edges in daily experiences that He and I did not share. I go somewhere I did not before. I wear my hair different. I take a vacation on my own. All these small new things ice the cake and create an even more delicious life. It is not the same, it is not what I wanted , but the formation of our meeting and living together created a great foundation. Try little things to frost it up! Every day seek a small beauty in someone else or something else, be it the child in the seat of the grocery cart that will wave to you when you smile or a nod from a stranger to move forward before you do. I will pray for you. I do pray for all us fellow journeyers. We have been given much and will be given more. So have that knife ready to frost the cake. It will come in little steps and you will have a masterpiece to celebrate. Your life and his and others!

More small hints @ www.revivalredesign.blogspot.com

Permalink Reply by jan on January 16, 2010 at 11:18am

Hi Debbie I'm so sorry my husband was also 57 he just past away in December. I know what you mean I don't know how I can go on we were suppose to grow old together.

Permalink Reply by jan on January 16, 2010 at 11:24am

Hi Jill, I too lost my husband in December from cancer. We were together for 32 yrs. have two great sons and we had a great life. I know what you mean about talking to friends, they really don't know how we feel and I wish they would stop asking "how are you doing" I want to say how do you think I'm doing. I'm really trying but this is so hard.

Permalink Reply by Ruth Richards on January 16, 2010 at 11:50am

It will be 2 yrs. for me in April. I sometimes think it gets harder. We were together for 50 yrs. I know God tries to keep me busy, but most of the time I feel so useless. Prayer helps but not knowing the future can drive you crazy. Knowing I will never feel his hugs, hear him talk, listen to his laugh, dance with him, just share so many things is so hard. Know that your not alone, many of us are still struggling.

Permalink Reply by Doreen Johnson on January 16, 2010 at 4:59pm

I wish it did get easier.....some days are just less painful than others. I lost my husband 4 years ago. He was 58; I was 44. We had 23 awesome years together. Happy memories help ease the pain. There will always be a hole in my heart that without him will never heal.