Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Yvonne on January 30, 2010 at 6:23pm

Bill
I lost my husband August 9 2009, and we were together for 38 years. My husband passed suddenly and I often wonder though it is hard to deal with sudden death if it isn't easier than watching your loved one pass away from a long illness. At least I know that Larry didn't suffer. He passed in his sleep from heart failure.
I am sure your partner felt loved and honored when you chose to bring him home. Comforted by familiar surroundings and people that loved and cared for him.
What can I say. Carry on in his honor. This is what I try to do everyday. I know our home has to be maintained...so I do it. The vehicles have to be looked after and I have also been looking after this. It gives me purpose to pick up and carry on doing the things that were important to him.
I know what you mean when you say you have never felt so alone. There are so many people around right after your loss and then all of a sudden bang...just you. I know you too have shed many tears and will shed many more. Know that he right next to you in your heart and will always be there.
Take care Yvonne

Permalink Reply by Bill Geddings on January 30, 2010 at 9:52pm

thank you so much Irene! I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM! I moved to another state thinking that I could escape the his home town and all of our memories there! But it all followed me! I PRAY TO GOD EACH DAY TO HELP ME GET THROUGH IT! I have just surrounded myself with his belongings. Making myself face the facts that he is gone! I ache for him each day but I KNOW LITTLE BY LITTLE I'LL MAKE IT THROUGH. THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR RESPONSE!
Sincerely,
Bill

Permalink Reply by Bill Geddings on January 30, 2010 at 9:52pm

Yvonne said:

Bill
I lost my husband August 9 2009, and we were together for 38 years. My husband passed suddenly and I often wonder though it is hard to deal with sudden death if it isn't easier than watching your loved one pass away from a long illness. At least I know that Larry didn't suffer. He passed in his sleep from heart failure.
I am sure your partner felt loved and honored when you chose to bring him home. Comforted by familiar surroundings and people that loved and cared for him.
What can I say. Carry on in his honor. This is what I try to do everyday. I know our home has to be maintained...so I do it. The vehicles have to be looked after and I have also been looking after this. It gives me purpose to pick up and carry on doing the things that were important to him.
I know what you mean when you say you have never felt so alone. There are so many people around right after your loss and then all of a sudden bang...just you. I know you too have shed many tears and will shed many more. Know that he right next to you in your heart and will always be there.
Take care Yvonne

Permalink Reply by Bill Geddings on January 30, 2010 at 9:57pm

thanks so much for your response Yvonne! I'm trying each day to get stronger.I moved to another state away from his home town thinking i could escape the memories but they followed me! I now find myself surrounding his belongings around me so I would have to face the facts that he is really gone!
I pray to god to get me through each day! I think we will always shed tears for them, but they are in a much better place. My mind tells me that but my heart isn't listening to that! i WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR EVERYONE THAT IS GOING THROUGH THIS AND EVERYONE DO THE SAME FOR ME!
SINCERELY,
BILL

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on January 30, 2010 at 10:02pm

Bill, I'm so sorry for the loss of your love. You've come to the right place because we are all grieving. Today makes it 5 months since my Bo went home. Like Irene, I lost him to small cell lung cancer. 28 years married, 29 years together. We're all here for you. We all understand.

Permalink Reply by Bill Geddings on January 31, 2010 at 12:31am

THANK YOU SO MUCH LINDA! I'VE HAVE TRULY BEEN ABOUT CRAZY OVER THIS! i CAN'T SEEM TO MOVE FORWARD FOR SOME REASON! i'M REALLY TRYING HARD. Alot of times i go to bed crying and wake up crying! It's been hard for me to concentrate on work or anything! Thank you for you for your sincerity! I greatly appreciate it!

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on January 31, 2010 at 12:46am

Bill, I'm not going to sugar coat this. Like all of us here there are going to be more bad days than good for a long time. I think the stronger the love, the longer it takes. My family calls my bad days "the dark side". I'm irritable and just want to be alone. Crying is good. Do it! Pounding the pillow is good. Do it! It's been 5 months today and I find I'm crying less and having not as many dark side days. But the pain in my heart is there ALL the time, and I don't think it will ever leave. Day to day, my friend. Remember we are always here.

Permalink Reply by kathleen caylor on January 31, 2010 at 1:34pm

Bill,listen to Linda, "the dark side" is a good discription of what we're all feeling.The down times lessen but the pain is always there.Moving is not going to ease your pain because your memories will go with you.Try to cherish the memory.Good luck,we're all struggleing here!

Permalink Reply by Nancy Peterson on February 1, 2010 at 12:42am

Bill, I know how you are feeling. I just lost my love in December. I feel like you do. It's hard but Trust in God and God will see you through this horrible time. It's the only way to any peace in your heart. You will be with him again one day when it is your time. Meanwhile look for peole you can help and make feel better and it will help you to feel better too. Pray and ask God to help you. He is there for you.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Peterson on February 1, 2010 at 1:08am

Yvonne, Your post to Bill was awesome! Why is it that people are there for you and rally around durring the sickness or just right after the loss then, suddenly they all disapear and they're gone!?

Yvonne said:

Bill
I lost my husband August 9 2009, and we were together for 38 years. My husband passed suddenly and I often wonder though it is hard to deal with sudden death if it isn't easier than watching your loved one pass away from a long illness. At least I know that Larry didn't suffer. He passed in his sleep from heart failure.
I am sure your partner felt loved and honored when you chose to bring him home. Comforted by familiar surroundings and people that loved and cared for him.
What can I say. Carry on in his honor. This is what I try to do everyday. I know our home has to be maintained...so I do it. The vehicles have to be looked after and I have also been looking after this. It gives me purpose to pick up and carry on doing the things that were important to him.
I know what you mean when you say you have never felt so alone. There are so many people around right after your loss and then all of a sudden bang...just you. I know you too have shed many tears and will shed many more. Know that he right next to you in your heart and will always be there.
Take care Yvonne

Permalink Reply by Bill Geddings on February 1, 2010 at 9:59am

Thanks so much to all! You all have been a blessing to me! Hope that I can return the favor and get to know some really good people!
Much love,
Bill

Permalink Reply by Bill Geddings on February 1, 2010 at 10:00am

Irene Parker said:

Bill, Let me say first that I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband March 22, 2009. We were together 20 years, married 17 of those. Terry passed away from small cell lung cancer. Cancer is such a horrible disease and shows no mercy. I was devastated when he died because I thought I could save him. I took such good care of him and prayed for a miracle every night. It has taken me 10 months to finally realize that he is better off with God. The last thing that we ever want is to see the one we love suffer. There are no exact answers. You just have to find what works for you. I will pray that you can start to remember his life instead of his death. I think that's when my heart started to heal. In my thoughts and prayers, Irene

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