Randolph, You are right, not all women are good caregivers either. A friend of mines mom was in my store a few days ago. She was complaining about her husband having alzhiemers and how hard it was on her. I think she was just wanting sympathy...how dare she! When the person you love is sick it is NOT about you. When we found out Terry had cancer, I told him from day one he had one job, and that was to get well. My job was to take care of everything else. I wanted him to use all his energy on getting better. I remember some days being so exhausted I didn't know how I was going to get through the day, so I prayed to God for strength. No matter how tired I was, it was nothing compared to what he was going through fighting for his life. He would have done the same for me. I don't think it's that hard to be a good caregiver if you really love someone, do you?
So true,, When I took Doris to the hospital I thought she would respond to treatment as she had before and come back home worse but at least come back home.Thats why I bought the hospital bed for her and had it ready.Doris did not come back home, Doris was so sad when she knew she would not see the bedroom I fixed for us.Doris had been in and out of hospitals, Rehab. many times.I just took it for granted she would come back to me.
Only another care giver understands the pain and fatigue that we have.As broken hearted as I am I have so much to be thankful for.My health has held up so I could take care of her,, I am a light sleeper so when she needed me in the night I could respond fast.Most nights all she said was HONEY and I was up.We had the finances to buy.her wheel chair ect.A few times I got her in the truck, and I parked on the street at the medical supple store and brought walkers, stools,. out so she could choose what she wanted.Even then she was always smiling.So many friends and neighbors have said She was always smiling from her heart.
No wonder we are just devastated over losing Doris and Terry and so many wonderful people we have gotten to know here.Our broken hearts will never mend but we still must go on with life.
I am tired of being so sad but I canot seem to find the answer to get on with my life as I should.In time I will tho..Irene,, Help, Its been a bad day.
When my wife died,I died too.Her friends,her family,dissappeared after she died.
I lost a BIG part of my heart,soul and spirit when she died. I am not suicidal but I don't want to live anymore. Its not depression. Its sadness and lonliness and the useless feeling. It seems that my whole being has now been put out to pasture,never to be accessed again. Its like I am no longer needed.
I know only I can get a grip on it, but I sure could use a hug.
And how can you handle getting up between 1:40am and 2:40 am every morning for 9 months,(Even taking a sleeping aid)? Thats the time I left for home from the hospital after she died.