On April 10th I am having a Celebration of Life for Douglas who died July 19, 2009. I just finished the invitations (made them special in his honor) and they will be mailed tomorrow. All of this planning has kept me busy but as I was addressing the envelopes my eyes teared up and a wave of initial grief passed over me. As I think about it I was worried that this Celebration of Life would mean that I was moving on and would forget Douglas. I cannot imagine ever forgetting this wonderful and incredible person. It was his desire not to have a traditional funeral and that is why the Celebration of Life. Out of respect to his parents I did have a military funeral at the Veteran's Cemetery in Kent, WA. It was beautiful -- Marine color guard, 21-gun salute and taps. Douglas was cremated and the urn I had for this service was filled with special items of his plus some ashes. I have the majority of his ashes at home in a very special hand crafted urn and will dispose of them as he wished -- when I am ready! The other day I picked up the shadow box I had made that holds the flag, casings from the 21-gun salute, Marine emblems and plaque with his name, date of birth/death, and service to his country. When the young man brought it out from the back room I broke down in tears. I think I scared him! It is absolutely beautiful and you can bet it will be at the Celebration of Life ceremony along with the many balloons I had made with his picture. They will be released at the end of the ceremony (environmentally safe latex). So, as time marches on I am doing what others before me said would happen. I still love and miss him, I am enjoying the memories we made together in the 31 years we were an item, and I am forging ahead with my "new" normal. I thank all of you for your support and guidance. And I pray that all of us get through this and become the people our loved ones would want us to become.