Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Missmylove47 on March 3, 2010 at 3:14am

Dear Brigitte,

I think the celebration of your Dougla's life is such a beautiful tribute to your husband, the man that you shared so many years together. You will never forget your Douglas, and he knows that. He still alive in your heart, and memories forever!
Do not feel guilt about move on, your husband wants you to be happy and continue your life without him in this earth. I am sure he is watching you from heaven.
My husband John was an Veteran too. He had a family plot for him in a local, cemetery his wishes was to be buried next to his parents. VA also offered me the veterans national cemetery for his burial as well, it is located in Fort worth FL..too far from my home!
I received the american flag, and a certificate of honor from president Obama in my husband's honor....I am so pround of him!
I am not ready to visit his grave yet, I need to get stronger emotionaly....one day I will soon ....I hope.

God bless you!

Permalink Reply by Charles on March 3, 2010 at 11:45am

Dear Brigitte,
What wonderful beautiful words.I wish I had said what you have put here.
When I came to this site all I wanted to do was die.I lost my wife in Oct.2009 and the pain, grief and despair was more than I could overcome,I perfered death than to live withour her.
I rejected any and all thoughts of things getting better.When someone here told me that in time it would be eaiser I thought they did not understand my pain and grief.I loved that lady like no other.
Well I am better.I can look at her pictures and not fall apart, I can smile and laugh now, I can remember our life together and the wonderful memories we made.
I am still in pain, I still grieve, I still cry, but I am going forward. I do not want to stop the pain and grief.I never want to forget one memory of that wonderful lady.I just want to live with all the joy, laughter and yes pain and grief that is part of this life we live.
Last month I posted, Something's got to give.Life or death is what I wanted.I choose life.
Like you Brigitte I want to celebrate her life, I want to tell people how wonderful she was and laugh and smile as I do that.
We never get over the grief and pain, never will.I miss her so much and it hurts so much but now I can celebrate her life instead of wallowing in my own misery as I was doing.
In my start here one lady told me that, Even tho I did not think so, even tho I did not want to hear it,, In time things would get better.
She was so right. Thank you all for helping me get better.

Permalink Reply by Brigitte on March 8, 2010 at 2:42pm

Dear Charles,

It is such a great feeling to celebrate our loved one. Everytime I start talking about Douglas I smile now, I even laugh at some of the antics he pulled, and I still cry when necessary. Eight months ago I never dreamed that I would be at this point in the grief process. Baby steps, that is what it takes to get to where I am now. The Celebration of Life is coming along great. Many friends are so eager to help with the planning. I am having it at a very special resort in my home state (Washington) and so the buffet will be hosted by the facility. But the music will be provided by his friends (Douglas was a musician and recording engineer) and we will dance and sing, wear our tie-dye and groove on out!

Do I miss him -- absolutely and always will. I have accepted that I miss the "physical" Douglas because the spiritual Douglas is and always has been with me. That will never go away. We have all been blessed to have loved and been loved by these incredible people. They are out of pain, watching over us (and you all know that that is a FULL time job -- some of us are more challenging then others!), and they are preparing a place for us once we have finished what we were meant to do on this earth. My Douglas finished his mission on July 17, 2009 -- he always had to be first! I am not searching for my task on earth but living every day to its fullest. That is what he did, what he wants me to do, and the Celebration of Life will continue once I join him.

Things get easier to accept and deal with as time marches on. We will cry, scream, laugh, and look confused, but we will all be doing it together. This group is excellent and I am so very thankful for each of you as I pass through the many stages of grief. Friends -- who could ask for better?

In peace,

Brigitte