It is such a great feeling to celebrate our loved one. Everytime I start talking about Douglas I smile now, I even laugh at some of the antics he pulled, and I still cry when necessary. Eight months ago I never dreamed that I would be at this point in the grief process. Baby steps, that is what it takes to get to where I am now. The Celebration of Life party is coming along great. Many friends are so eager to help with the planning. I am having it at a very special resort in my home state (Washington) and so the buffet will be hosted by the facility. But the music will be provided by his friends (Douglas was a musician and recording engineer) and we will dance and sing, wear our tie-dye and groove on out!
Do I miss him -- absolutely and always will. I have accepted that I miss the "physical" Douglas because the spiritual Douglas is and always has been with me. That will never go away. We have all been blessed to have loved and been loved by these incredible people. They are out of pain, watching over us (and you all know that that is a FULL time job -- some of us are more challenging then others!), and they are preparing a place for us once we have finished what we were meant to do on this earth. My Douglas finished his mission on July 17, 2009 -- he always had to be first! I am not searching for my task on earth but living every day to its fullest. That is what he did, what he wants me to do, and the Celebration of Life will continue once I join him.
Things get easier to accept and deal with as time marches on. We will cry, scream, laugh, and look confused, but we will all be doing it together. This group is excellent and I am so very thankful for each of you as I pass through the many stages of grief. Friends -- who could ask for better?