My husband passed away on 11/9/09 after spending 5 weeks in the hospital. He was a very, very good husband, father, grandfather, and most of all he was my very best friend. We married young and devoted our lives to each other. We went places and did things together. Now my best friend is gone and I don't know what I am going to do. I don't know if there is a reason to go on living. I have three beautiful daughters, two great sons-in-law and five of the best grandchildren God ever put on this earth. I guess they are my reason but I can't bear being without him. I don't think I have the strength left in me to just keep going and going on. Maybe someone can give me some suggestions. I would so appreciate any help I can get.

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Replies to This Discussion

Connie,
So sorry about your loss of your husband.I lost my wife of 25 years this past OCT.She was my best friend, my wife, my lover, my everything.I was holding her in my arms as she took her last breath, I wished I had took my last breath with her,, But I did not.
You will find hundreds of people here just like you that lost that soul mate, lost the will to live but some how took one breath at a time in order to live.
Our lives are changed forever in ways none of us ever wanted.
Please read the post,, Life can be good again,,, Read my post of a month ago,,
Something has got to give, and read all the ideas of so many people that are just like you and me here.
This site and so many prople here that helpd me really and trully saved my life.
After I lost my wife I had no life to live I thought.
Life goes on,, so different yes, but life goes on.
There is a lot of help here and you will be surprised that you will also help other people as we all travel this long lonely road together
Charles said:
Connie,
So sorry about your loss of your husband.I lost my wife of 25 years this past OCT.She was my best friend, my wife, my lover, my everything.I was holding her in my arms as she took her last breath, I wished I had took my last breath with her,, But I did not.
You will find hundreds of people here just like you that lost that soul mate, lost the will to live but some how took one breath at a time in order to live.
Our lives are changed forever in ways none of us ever wanted.
Please read the post,, Life can be good again,,, Read my post of a month ago,,
Something has got to give, and read all the ideas of so many people that are just like you and me here.
This site and so many prople here that helpd me really and trully saved my life.
After I lost my wife I had no life to live I thought.
Life goes on,, so different yes, but life goes on.
There is a lot of help here and you will be surprised that you will also help other people as we all travel this long lonely road together
Charles, Thank you so much for your words of comfort. I believe that the pain just does not go away. I have a friend who lost her husband 11 years ago and we are going through the same kind of emotional roller coaster.

I was not fortunate enough to be there when my husband took his last breath. The nurse called me at home at 6 a.m. and told me that his heart rate was dropping very fast. My daughter and I were at the hospital in 15 minutes but he had already passed. That, too, is what bothers me that I wasn't there with him when he passed. Maybe he would have held on longer if I was there. That might have made it a little easier for me.

I know that life will go on and I will take it day by day and hour by hour but it is not going to be the same without my sweetheart here. We married very young and grew up together. We really and truly loved each other very much and enjoyed being together even if it was just sitting to watch a baseball game. I miss him soooooo very much.

I am glad that I found this site. Maybe this can help. Have a great night.
Connie, as you read past posts you will find that you are not alone. Many of us are in different stages of grieving and many of us handle and cope with our grief in different ways. No two are alike, but this forum is important for us because what we do have in common is our pain and loneliness. People here understand and do not judge. We come together to laugh and to cry. Please read as many posts as you can. I hope it helps. God Bless, Linda
Connie,
I think we all have guilt,, If we had done this, If we had not done that.I still have guilt about taking her to the hospital, She was there 31 days going downhill every day.If I had kept her at home, Who knows?I still cry every day but not every minute as I was doing.Like you I miss her so so much, I hurt all over from pain because I miss her so much. I have maybe a hundred pictures of her all over the walls, I kiss her pictures every day, I talk to her all the time.I do not recommend this,, It just works for me.
You will hear over and over,, We all grieve in our own ways.You grieve in the ways you are most comfortable with.
Believe me when I say other people here understand what you are going through.
My wife and I held hands as we slept, we held hands as we drove.She was disabled for most of 13 years with M.S.God put me here on earth to take care of her and I loved taking care of her.I lost my purpose in life when she passed away.
But as I said life goes on.We just have to figure out our new purpose in life.
Connie, Charles, and Linda, It's comforting to read your words on this the first anniversary of my husband's arrival in Heaven. We seldom were apart except for work and after retirement we were able to spend 24/7 together almost all the time. The love of my life is gone in body but will always live on in my heart. We had a tremendous celebration on our 50th wedding anniversary with family and friends and I have so many wonderful memories of many events over the years. Both my daughters were able to come spend today with me and though there was sadness, we cheered each other up by reminiscing about the good times we'd enjoyed as a family. Draw comfort from your friends, family, the friends here on this site and most of all our Lord who cares so very much for us. I continue to pray for all of you.
Connie: I know how you are feeling, my husband of 38 yrs died in my arms in 2004 I am getting through my grief with my faith. My husband was my soulmate and when he died he came to me in my dreams, and as i got closer he had something cupped in his hands, as i drew closer he had my heart in his hands, but it was broken glass, he told me he knew my heart was broken and he was trying to put it back together, I talk to my husband(no im not crazy) I talk and a voice answers, maybe it's not really him but each of us have to get through the day anyway we can. So your not alone in your grief Connie, If you would like to talk about it contact me.You will be in my prayers tonight
HI connie im so sorry for your lose and i do so understand how your feeling when i lost my Teresa i feelt the same way,we where togather for thirty yrs and totly commited to each other.To our great sorrow we where never able to have childern it hurt but God has a plain for us all and it's not allways what we want.It will be two years in six days scense the Lord called her home and the only way i can handle it is to live one day one hour one minute at a time i try to allways look for and injoy the simple things in life.After seeing how fast life can end i thank God for each day he gives me ,it sounds like you have a lot to be greatful for so grab hold of your family with all you got.There is one other thing i will suggest and that is to find a place who needs valunteers to help the others in need and poor all you love for huseband into.There is something speacle about giveing of our selfs that helps with the pain at least it has for me. May God bless and keep you //// alan d d
Dixie Olson said:
Connie: I know how you are feeling, my husband of 38 yrs died in my arms in 2004 I am getting through my grief with my faith. My husband was my soulmate and when he died he came to me in my dreams, and as i got closer he had something cupped in his hands, as i drew closer he had my heart in his hands, but it was broken glass, he told me he knew my heart was broken and he was trying to put it back together, I talk to my husband(no im not crazy) I talk and a voice answers, maybe it's not really him but each of us have to get through the day anyway we can. So your not alone in your grief Connie, If you would like to talk about it contact me.You will be in my prayers tonight
Connie said:
Dixie Olson said:
Connie: I know how you are feeling, my husband of 38 yrs died in my arms in 2004 I am getting through my grief with my faith. My husband was my soulmate and when he died he came to me in my dreams, and as i got closer he had something cupped in his hands, as i drew closer he had my heart in his hands, but it was broken glass, he told me he knew my heart was broken and he was trying to put it back together, I talk to my husband(no im not crazy) I talk and a voice answers, maybe it's not really him but each of us have to get through the day anyway we can. So your not alone in your grief Connie, If you would like to talk about it contact me.You will be in my prayers tonight
Dixie, Thank you so much for your message. I wait every night for my husband to come home to talk to me. One night he came to me in a dream. It was while I was trying to decide what I could do with the dogs because they are too much for me to handle (I have a physical disability). In my dream, there were 100's of dogs of all sizes and shapes and colors, full grown dogs and puppies and they were all running around and our two dogs were in the middle of it. I was completely beside myself on what I was going to do with all these dogs and how I could get our two back in the house. My husband came around the side of the house and he looked great and he said to me "Look Honey, I can walk again and it doesn't hurt." Then he was gone and all the dogs & puppies were gone and our two dogs were in the house. I know I have awoken in the night and felt his arms around me just the way we used to sleep in bed. I have not been able to sleep in bed since he is gone. It is just too painful. I hope that will soon change. The bedroom was always a pleasant place, even to just lay in bed together and watch a baseball game or a movie. I so wish I could have more signs from him. I so want to be with him. I have great children and grandchildren and I love them dearly. I have so many emotions and sometimes I feel like I am having a good day and then bang like a train it hits me and I am crying and begging him to come to see me, even in a dream. Oh Lord, I don't know how I am going to make it through this. And now another holiday coming up, and then shortly after is our grandaughter's First Holy Communion. I am praying for strength. Thanks again for your kind words because they are so very much appreciated.
I was 35 years old when I lost my first husband and he was only 39. We had 3 young children at home. Ages 2,8 and 12. It was almost Christmas time and I wasn't sure how I would manage, but somehow I got through it. I was 600 miles from my family and I just wanted to come home. Within in 6 months I had sold my home and moved north. I had been so busy with all of this that it took all that time for the reality to hit, and when it did I just wanted to run away. But what about the children? Some time you need to just take one day at a time and sometime all you can manage is one hour at a time.
So here I am almost 30 years later. I met a wonderful man and we were married for 24 years, the children are grown, we recently retired and were looking foward to the time together. My second husband died 5 weeks ago. I don't have anything to occupy my mind now. This feels so much worse, the loneliness is almost unbearable at times. It seems so unfair, I am back to one day at a time and sometime one hour at a time.
Love those grandchildren Connie like there is no tomorrow, because no one is promised another day.
Take care,
Mary

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