I have only just lost you the pain is hard to bear
Do I have to go through life knowing your not there
please some one explain to me why he had to go
are there any reasons I really need to know
I sit here and remember all the lovely times we shared
the talks the laughter of every one you cared
I am told the pain will ease in time
and I will think of him without a tear
but that will be impossible as I need to have him here
He was my very world to me my ever guiding star
Just kiss me softly on the cheek and tell me where you are

Today is Wednesday, the day my husband just left me quietly. I really liked the above poem because it described my emotions. I don't want to hurt so much but I do. I don't want to cry so much either but I do. I try to be strong for my children and I succeed but it is so hard. Anybody knows when can I think about him without crying. When will I stop looking for answers.

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I wish I could tell you but my husband has been gone 22 months 9 days and I still cry and my heart is still broken. Our oldest son turns 16 tomorrow he was suppose to be here to celebrate this day but he is not. Tears are coming to my eyes just writting this. I know he would love to be here for me and the kids. I just ask God for strength everyday to make it though. I have some good days some bad days and some that are worse. I just try and remember the great marriage we had , the two great kids we had together and all the memories that are still in out hearts. Sometimes it is hard to eat I have lost weight since Barry passed away. I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare and things be the way they used to be HAPPY! I miss him everyday and always will. Take Care and just pray for strength.


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