Janet Farthing said:It's now been 26 days. It is such terrible pain. I miss him so much. I want to be with him but I have to stay here. I also have no fear of dying and welcome it. My children keep me grounded. I have a daughter17 and son4 at home with me. Everyone says be strong. Be there for them. Okay I get that but I'm drowning in pain. My daughter takes my son out to the park or the book store everyday. I prefer this so I can be alone to cry and talk to him. I keep hoping to hear his voice. I know it is selfish of me. I'm not good for them right now. I don't want to feel this way. I want to be strong and overcome this and be their mother again. I want him back. I hate cancer.
I am having trouble writng a reply but finally got it to work. Its been a year since my wife of 44 years died suddenly. I want to be with her badly as my life is nothing now. I died when she died. I just want to add,yes,I want to join her. I am not suicidal but I am not afraid of dying now. I actually dont care if I do die or not. Life is , no life, anymore. Just wanted you all to know you are not alone in your emotions that now exist and will for some time.