Its been a year and 10 days since my wife of 44 years died in her sleep. I heard and saw her dead. I have so many flashbacks, all the good ones and all of the bad ones. The crying has stopped but at any given time I could cry. I actually want to cry all the time. The dreams have pretty much stopped but once in a while I have one of her doing something with me. We were always together doing everything. She was my pal. No matter what you do, it all reminds me that "you are doing it without them". And it sucks, big time. It makes you want to NOT do anything. It was always "you and me kid". Now it just me and I want to die really bad. Suicide is not there plus she would have never wanted that either.
Rather than mourn the absence of the flame, let us celebrate how brightly it glowed.