Tomorrow will be 6 months ago since I lost my husband and my best friend. My heart is broken and I don't understand since when we are married, God unites us as one but then he separates us and the pain is sometimes unbearable. Today was my birthday and it was the sadest birthday ever. Tomorrow is Mother's Day but I can't help think of anything but the phone call I got from the nurse at 6:05 a.m. on November 9th telling me that my husband's heart rate just went into freefall. It took my daughter and I only minutes to get to the hospital but we were too late. He passed with only a stranger (nurse) in the room. I was not there to hold me and to tell him one last time that I love him. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for that. He always needed me to be with him. If we were in different rooms, he would call "Hey Hon or Hey Toots". He would do this just because he needed to know that I was nearby. I love him so much and miss him so very much. I pray for the day when I am with him again. I can't tell my daughter's this because they would not understand.

I don't know how many of you have lost your parents. That is one of the hardest things you face during your life. I was heartbroken when my Mom passed and devastated when my Dad passed. My Dad was always very happy with his daughters and we loved him very much. I had my husband and children to lean on then. Now my "rock" is gone and I have to go on alone. I absoluely hate it.

Thank you guys for being such a help to me when you all are suffering too.

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Replies to This Discussion

Going on 8 months for me and yesterday my roller coaster ride hit bottom again. Connie, those "special" days that we spent with loves are the hardest, but sometimes the dark days just come from nowhere. I had to smile because I called my honey "Toots" sometimes too. We all put one foot in front of the other and try to carry on. Sadly there are some days when just getting out of bed is a chore. Lord please give us strength to carry on.
Hi Connie,
I lost my husband almost 7 months ago and I still hate the fact that he is gone from me....He was diagnosed last August and passed away October 09...We didn't even have a chance to except the fact that he had cancer and he was gone...I still cry every day and night...Me and Robbie did everything together...We had 40 great years together but I wanted more....Somedays I still can't believe that he is gone....I have started to do somethings but most of what I do has become chores....I also lost both my parents...I have one daughter and 3 grandchildren...One of the grandchildren keep asking me when Papa is coming back....I just don't know what to say because he is so young....This is the first Mother's Day that Robbie didn't give me a kiss...I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Connie...I know that it is hard and some people tell me it gets even harder.....Denise MacCallum
Hi Connie, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 1984 to sudden heart attack when he was just 52 years old. I had a full term stillborn daughter in 1993 and now my husband is gone on Dec 23, 2009. So I know all the pains and I know how you feel. Will keep you in my prayers.
Sandy from Wyo. May you all be blessed with Peace on this Mothers Day. My sweetheart passed Feb 2010. I don't even want to say date sends my mind to that night. He passed on our annversary in a Veterans Hospital. I am still very angry at them and the way were treated for 3 years of fighting to his death with them. But it has been suggested to me to put that on the back burner for now until I regain strength emotionally and physically. Brings me to a question? Did anyone get horribly ill do to the greiving. I do have deseases but I know the difference. Friend took me doctor for first time since the other day. Young male doc. Gave me new anti deppresant. Hope it helps. Thanks for listening Im very grateful I found this site. Sorry about spelling can't think straight. As far as holidays still right now anyway my husband was sick for so long I dont remember or I don't want to the sweet special times on those special days. I'm sure that will come when I hit bottom of reality. There are so many memories 40 years. I want so bad to remember them all. Sorry I am going on and on.
Sandy... The question of getting ill, I can tell you in my case yes. My husband passed away March 30, 2010. I have many nights I throw up constantly. The crying gets so bad at times where I can't breathe. Most days I have no energy and feel like I have the flu. -freeze all the time- I live in Alabama so I shouldn't feel so darn cold all the time. I talk to him every night and beg to hear is voice. I just want him back. Prayers for us all.
Janet

Sandy said:
Sandy from Wyo. May you all be blessed with Peace on this Mothers Day. My sweetheart passed Feb 2010. I don't even want to say date sends my mind to that night. He passed on our annversary in a Veterans Hospital. I am still very angry at them and the way were treated for 3 years of fighting to his death with them. But it has been suggested to me to put that on the back burner for now until I regain strength emotionally and physically. Brings me to a question? Did anyone get horribly ill do to the greiving. I do have deseases but I know the difference. Friend took me doctor for first time since the other day. Young male doc. Gave me new anti deppresant. Hope it helps. Thanks for listening Im very grateful I found this site. Sorry about spelling can't think straight. As far as holidays still right now anyway my husband was sick for so long I dont remember or I don't want to the sweet special times on those special days. I'm sure that will come when I hit bottom of reality. There are so many memories 40 years. I want so bad to remember them all. Sorry I am going on and on.

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