Hi Kathy, hugs to you and to everyone. Thirteen months since wife died suddenly during a nap. That dreadful time, hearing and seeing her dead, all the towns EMT's in my living room. She hung on for 6 hours to officially die on her birthday. I never had a chance to give her the birthday card. It read......An angel came to me one day........so I married her. Little did I know she would become one.
I died when she died. Am all alone now and I am still just going thru the motions of living on, like a zombie, of course. But, as long as I am here, so is she.
Kathy, am so sorry about your loss and everyone elses loss. We were married for 44 years. She was my pal. Didnt want to go to a therapist because you know what ? I am the only one who can bear and try to handle my grief. Everyone can try to help but in the end it is still up to you. For the reality is that you go home to your empty and lonely house. It is like my bad back. Only I can handle and deal with it the best way that I can. I am not doing so good at it though.
Hugs to you and to everyone. Hugs are nice and comforting.
Hi Kathy, I was hoping that I could tell you that I am actually feeling better but that would not be true. I understand your anger and depression and crying. I have the very same problems too. Sometimes I don't even understand why I am so angry. I don't believe that he left me because he wanted to but it hurts so much to be alone and to just visit him at the cemetery. I don't want to feel this way but I have no control. I am taking anti-depressants and the doctor says I just need to get used to being without him. I don't know if I can do that. I have a beautiful family but I just wait for the day when I will be beside him again. Sorry, I wish I could be more upbeat but it just is not possible yet.
My husband died on July 17, 2009. It has been 10 months and 3 days, but who is counting? ME! I miss him every day -- his smile, his laughter, his comforting words and big bear hugs. What I wouldn't give for just one more day with him -- heck, I'd even take an hour! It is interesting how many people tell you to move on, you will get over it, you need to buck up. Well you know what -- I will move on but if and when I am ready, I will never get over the death of this wonderful man, and I don't need to "buck" up!! Grief is an emotion like no other I have ever experienced. Just when I think I have passed the worst of time I get smacked up side the head again with a wave of intense grief, tears, and that all knowing empty feeling in my chest. You all have had that same feeling! The key to healing from the death of a loved one is to allow yourself to grieve for as long as it takes. We are all different and will grieve in our own way. But the main thing to keep in mind is that all of us on this site have lost the love of their life -- their spouse, partner, soul mate, and best friend. And we all understand that and are here to support one another. For that I am grateful. Thank you all for being here. And I agree with Randolph, hugs are the best!!