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Permalink Reply by Suzanne on May 23, 2010 at 11:52pm

There were plenty of times in our past 39 years that I remember with much fondness and think back how we thought we would continue to have good times. I used to tell this memory about how My mother and father used to come to visit us every Sunday (always kidding that we should record the visits for posperity but never did) we had coffee (strangely enough that only Dan made the best which was his specialty) and pastry and talked and joked and laughed. Danny never could finish his jokes, puns, and anecdotes because he knew what was coming and laughed at his own joke which we all laughed even more, back then it was hysterically funny. You name it, we talked about it, history, politics, our religion and others, controversial subjects and humor and we always looked forward to their company until in 1996 my Dad passed away and the wake for my Mom was in March of 09. (The last wake Dan attended with me.) There were plenty other wakes, let me tell you. Both Dan's parents, Sept. of 96 for his Dad and 2001 his mother was called home. There were cousins, Dan's 2 brothers, nephews in their 20's and 40's and and even a newborn grandniece no more than 4 hours of age and another which was Dan's nephew, 2 years old. But when my parents came it one of was the best memory for the four of us, and when we visited his parents we always had the same rapport, now there is only me left with these heartwrenching conversations in my mind, still lingering, still haunting. It used to be a good memory when Dan was here to talk about them with me. During the summer of 2008 after he had the first 28 treatments we went to the beach with his sister more times than when we had our own transportation. We talked and laughed and swam and lotioned each of our bodies, his sister took pictures of us and gave them to us. We went out for lunch after and I never knew that it would be last time we would have together before the cancer reoccured, so you see I don't like to think of memories. I am trying to avoid anything we did that we enjoyed together because it's bittersweet. I don't want Danny to be a memory. I know this is such a good question but I'm crying now and I try not to think of these things in our past when we really thought he'd be getting better. Sorry to be such a downer but I'm so deeply depressed up looks down to me. I am so burdened with this weight of not having him here any more if I believed in miracles any more I would get some sleep tonight but I don't. I wish I could forget the memories. If anyone had a pill to do this I'd take it in a heartbeat. I sure hope someone else can give happier memories and be happy for them.
God bless,
Suzanne

Permalink Reply by Tom on May 24, 2010 at 8:52am

Anyone from New Jersey been to " Rutt's Hutt " ?
Tell me about it !

Permalink Reply by Yaca Attwood on May 25, 2010 at 8:54am

Ah...a memory.....my husband, Byron Raymond "Warp Six" Perkins was a man who was _not_ slow when he got into a car .... and I'm sure y'all can figure out what kind of car he loved!

One Sunday, he decided to take me down to San Juan Capistrano to a restaurant he knew of - so, off we go in his Corvette (naturally) over the Ortega Highway.

The Ortega Highway does include quite a few heights - and I fear, tremble, quake, cavil, wax terrified of _any_ kind of height. Sir Perkins (who must have thought his Corvette was the NCC-1701, namely, the Starship Enterprise) was whipping around the curves at about Warp Six (he would have done very well on "Top Gear").

Needless to say, I was thinking that I would be finding out how cute the local paramedics were, because I was beyond terrified - and the more I squealed, the happier he became - he told me I even briefly "checked out" during one particularly harrowing part of the trip!

We arrived (by some miracle of God) at San Juan, and when I first got out of the car, I received some strange looks from passers-by - one lady had a "what did that man _do_ to you look"; others were doubtless observing the extreme pallor of my complexion (I am among the "melanin-enhanced", by the way) - I, a black woman, was the color of an eggshell!

We had a lovely afternoon, and a delightful lunch at the restaurant, and I recovered quickly...but then there was the _return_ trip - the end of which I sorely wanted a _brandy_ or other alcoholic spirit ........

Peace, comfort and healing be upon you all - Yaca Attwood Perkins

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on May 25, 2010 at 9:27am

To Kathy, I never had a chance to give my wife her birthday card. The night before she had a heart attack and never regained consciousness. She waited 6 hours to die on her birthday. The card read....An angel came to me one day...so I married her. Little did I know she would become one. I have the card by my computer. I just wanted to share this. It is a very special memory, in more ways than one. Hug to you.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on May 25, 2010 at 9:49am

Kathy, thank you. I must say that I am not afraid of death anymore. I just wish that I could become a man again and a human being. I am like a zombie and have a big chunk gone from my heart and soul. My spirit is gone as well. Hug to you and to everyone.

Permalink Reply by charlotte bannon on May 26, 2010 at 6:41am

kathy, this is a good gesture you have"best memories" mine were when are son's were born, he was there with me every minute,except the first two, he wouldn't see the babies being delivered,but our last one , he thought he could stick that one out until, the doctor said look mr. bannon your baby's head,that is all he had to say, and he flew out of the birthing room,like lightning, i thought he was going to pass out, as much pain i was in i had to laugh!

Permalink Reply by Virginia on May 26, 2010 at 8:08am

Tom said:

Anyone from New Jersey been to " Rutt's Hutt " ?
Tell me about it !

where in jersey is it

Permalink Reply by Tracie on May 27, 2010 at 7:47am

It was just an ordinary day-came home from work tired,dragging,hair all crazy.John was sitting on the couch and casually asked me"Did anyone tell you how beautiful you look today?".Of course i just rolled my eyes,and then he replied"Well you do".How I miss him!

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on May 27, 2010 at 7:52am

tracie: first of all i give you sympathy for your loss. if george ever said this i would have said to him ok what do you want? he would always give me nothing but i know i was beautiful in his eyes. nice memories keep this memory in your heart always

Permalink Reply by Connie on May 27, 2010 at 8:42am

Connie, I read your post and I had to laugh. My name is Connie and my husband who passed away on last November 9th, his name is Phil. What a coincidence! I am sorry for your loss and I am sure that I know how you feel. I am going through a living hell without my Phil. We were married 46 years in October so I understand your 40 years of memories very well. When I saw the post, I started reading and said I don't remember writing this! I will remember you and your Phil in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by Connie on May 27, 2010 at 8:44am

I have seen Rutt's Hutt on tv on one of those travel shows. It is in North Jersey but I am not sure what town. I am in Central Jersey so I have not been there. It was someplace that we wanted to go but never got to.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on May 27, 2010 at 9:11am

To Everyone, after 13 months the best memory I would like to share is this. I had over 44 years with this wonderful woman. She was my pal. She also was a organ donor and I was informed she helped over 75 people, wow.
Thank you God, for allowing me to have this time together. Of course I wanted more. Hugs to all.

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