Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Basia on June 1, 2010 at 7:12am

this pain will never end will it? I don't know how I will make it , I have 4 kids to take care of and I just pray the ground will cave in and take us all in. Basia

Permalink Reply by Connie on June 1, 2010 at 12:46pm

Hi Linda, Thanks for writing. It makes me feel better to know that there is nothing wrong with the way I feel. My husband passed not quite 7 months ago and I feel such despair. I miss him so very much. Everything I do, go or touch reminds me of him. I wanted to go to the cemetery where my parents are buried on Memorial Day weekend and planned on doing it on Saturday. I did not sleep at all on Friday night and I truly believe that it was the thought of going to Pennsylvania without my husband that kept me awake. I guess I am not ready to do that yet.

Thanks again, Linda and I will keep you in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on June 1, 2010 at 5:00pm

Hi Linda W, Basia, and Connie,
I am so sorry you are all feeling so down. Yet, I am also, I feel resigned to the fact I will feel this way until my time comes. It's been 4 and a half months and I am still in shock in some ways. How could this happen, I know it's true but in a way it's hard to believe. I'm just showing up to family gatherings so I can at least see all of our loved ones for Dan's family are mine as well. At least I get to see them but I'm only there on the surface. My emotions are not caving in but I know they will because I'm not trying to hold them in, but for a few days I always think the tears are gone but they always come back. I really believe the Lord helps me to do what I need to do but after I go through the motions the emotional roller coaster is still going. I can really sympathize with all of you here. It is really very difficult to get through each day, but somehow we are doing it. May all of you have peace and God bless you all.
Suzanne

Permalink Reply by Virginia on June 1, 2010 at 5:43pm

Hi Linda,I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband a year ago 4-29-10 and I feel the same. Virginia

Permalink Reply by linda woodbridge on June 2, 2010 at 2:54am

HELLO TO ALL OF YOU HERE RIGHT NOW.
I THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE TO ME. YES IT IS A VERY LONG ROAD TO FEELING OK. I SO TRY TO KEEP ME BUSY. CLEAN HOUSE, MAKING SURE I EAT RIGHT, WELL ALMOST!! I LOVE TO COOK AND BAKE AND CLEAN MY APT. UP. LIKE THINGS TO LOOK NICE. FUSSY ME. LOL.

I CAN FEEL ALL OF YOUR HURT TO. I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. THIS IS NOT EASY TO DO BY ANYMEANS. BUT LISTEN LADIES. WE MUST TRY A BIT HARDER TO COPE. YES THE LORD TOOK MY BOB. BUT HE IS NOT IN ANYMORE PAIN. I KNOW HE IS WITH HIS BOTH PARENTS NOW. I ACCEPT THIS. HE IS OK NOW.

I TALK TO BOB ALL THE TIME. I HAVE NOT MADE ANY KIND OF A SHRINE WITH HIS PICTURES ALL OVER THE PLACE, JUST A FEW THATS IT. HELPS ME TO STAY IN THE NOW! I ASKED MY DR. TO SEND ME FOR COUNCILLING, I WENT IT IS NOT FOR ME, I COME OUT OF THER FEELING WORSE THAN WHEN I WENT IN. TOO MANY QUESTIONS FOR ME. I JUST CAN,T DEAL WITH THAT. I COULD NOT DEAL WITH MY CHURCH EITHER, THEY SHOWED MOVIED OF PEOPLE AND HOW THEY ALL FELT TO. VERY SAD. TOO MUCH FOR ME. SO...YOU KNOW WHAT?? I HAVE BEEN DOING THINGS ON MY OWN. WORKING OUT NOT TOO BAD. LOL.

YES I GET VERY LONELY AT TIMES. I DO NOT CRY AS MUCH, BUT I DO HAVE MY DOWN DAYS TO. MY BOB WOULD WANT ME TO BE HAPPY. SIX MONTHS AFTER HIS PASSING I FOUND A LETTER BOB HAD WROTE AND HIDE IT ON THE COMPUTER, HE KNEW I WOULD FIND THIS, A VERY WONDERFUL LETTER. A LOVE LETTER IF YOU WILL. I READ IT FROM TIME TO TIME, MAKES ME FEEL CLOSE TO BOB.

I AM IN MASSIVE PAIN MOST OF THE TIME, FIBRO, PAIN IS AWFULL. HAVING A HARD TIME TO WALK NOW. DIEBETIC PAIN IS SO BAD TO. I HAVE BOTH. TYPE 2 DIEBETIC. I TRY TO TAKE CARE THE BEST I CAN. MY DR. HAD GIVEN ME MEDS TO HELP ME WITH THIS MASSIVE PAIN. HARD TO HANDLE ALL THE TIME.

I HOPE AND PRAY FOR ALL OF YOU ON THIS WONDERFULL SITE. SO HAPPY I FOUND ALL OF YOU. WOULD BE NICE IF WE COULD MEET. DO NOT KNOW HOW WE WOULD DO THIS. LOL. ANYHOW, GOOD NIGHT AND THANKS AGAIN. STAY IN TOUCH. TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR ME OK....LOVE, LINDA W ANGELS ^i^ ^i^ ^i^ ^i^

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on June 2, 2010 at 9:17am

suzanne: just a note to see how you are doing? take care

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on June 2, 2010 at 9:27am

hi linda: i just came across your comment on this site: linda i feel the same way as do others it is so hard to handle i have in georges computer room a american flag his parents picture his rosary beads and a few other things i made this room georges i has a bed in it so when i feel down and out i go in there to sleep and i feel safe. i talk to george every day and night in the morning i look at my cell phone that has his picture on it and talk and cry i find myself sometimes going thru depression i just want to lay in bed and do not want to be bothered by anyone. i also went to a therapist it helped me in the begining but after 8 sessions it was the same thing over and over at first i cried yelled and had anger at anyone an everyone because i did not understand why he was gone. i said to myself he was a good man why did you take him from me why do you not take the bad people murderers rapist but no you took a good man to this day i feel that way george passed 3/1/09 and it was one of the hardest days of my life. keep with this site and you will see and read so many different loses that people had we all get very lonely but linda you must get everything out of your system there is nothing wrong with crying yelling ect. take care and good luck

Permalink Reply by linda woodbridge on June 4, 2010 at 3:31am

HI EVERYONE,
YOU BET I HAVE YELLED AT PEOPLE AND GOD AND EVEN BOB!! BOB AND I HAD A DAEL, THAT HE WOULD PASS AWAY AT HOME.AS I WAS HIS CARETAKER FOR FIVE YEARS.I LEARNED A LOT FROM THE NURSES THAT CAME TO OUR HOME.

BOB PUT HIMSELF BACK IN TO THE HOSPICE HOSPITAL.I ASKED HIM NOT TO GO, I GUESS HE JUST FELT SAFER THERE, A REAL NICE PLACE.HE HAD GOOD CARE AND I WAS THERE EVERY DAY. BUT HE DONE A FAST ONE ON ME!! HE PASSED AWAY WITH OUT ME!!! HOW UPSET I WAS TO GET THAT CALL. BUT I HAVE TO LOOK AT IT THIS WAY...BOB ALWAYS TRIED TO SPARE ME ANY UPSETS.BLESS HIS BIG SWEET TENDER HEART. I AM NOT MAD AT BOB JUST A BIT UPSET. HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANY OF YOU? JUST WONDERING.

I HAVE CRYED SO MUCH THAT MY DR. TOLD ME I HAVE DRY EYES AND I HAVE TO PUT DROPS IN MY EYES NOW. AND...I STILL CRY. MY GOSH I CAN,T DO TO THE CEMETARY FOR FATHERS DAY MYSELF. I JUST CAN,T HANDLE THAT RIGHT NOW.

YOU ARE SO RIGHT IN SAYING HOW HARD THIS IS TO EVEN TRY TO BELIVE OUR HUSBANDS ARE NOW GONE. BUT I KNOW BOB IS SAFE WITH HIS PARENTS TO, AND NO MORE PAIN. BOB ALSO WENT BLIND IN ONE EYE FROM THE CANCER! I JUST CARRIED ON AND TOOK GREAT CARE OF MY BOB. POOR SWEET MAN.

IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE ALL OUR LIVES HAVE CHANGED FOREVER.WE HAVE TO TRY TO ONLY TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. THIS IS HOW I DO THIS. SOME DAYS ARE GOOD AND SOME NOT. I TO HAVE TO WONDER IF I WIL EVER GET OVER THIS!! I HAVE TO TRY. GOD WILL HAVE HIS HANDS ON US FOLKS. RIGHT? I WILL PRAY FOR ALL OF YOU.

SOMEONE ASKED ABOUT GETTING PILLS TO HELP THEM. YES BY ALL MEANS ASK YOUR DR. TO HELP YOU WITH THIS. I TAKE A SLEEPING PILL AT NIGHT OR I AM NOT SLEEPING. SOMETIMES IT TAKES A LONG TIME FOR THE PILL TO WORK. I ALSO TAKE ATIVAN THREE TIMES A DAY TO FOR MY NERVES. I HAVE MASSIVE PANIC ATTACKS. I SOMETIMES WAKE UP IN A FULL BLOWN ATTACK AND CRYING TO. AT THIS POINT I HAVE TO GET UP HAVE A COLD GLSS OF WATER AND TRY TO RELAX, BREATHING SLOW FOR A BIT. IT HELPS. ANY OF YOU HAVE THIS?

I MISS BOB SO VERY MUCH THAT IT HURTS REAL BAD. I FALL APART TO. I FEEL LIKE BLOW-DOWN!! LONLEYNESS IS SO NOT NICE. I HATE THIS TO. BUT I HAVE TO TRY TO GET USED TO THIS TO.WE HAD 23 YEARS TOGETHER. BOB TO WAS MY VERY BEST FRIEND. THIS IS ALL SO HARD TO CHEW UP AND TRY TO SWALLOW!! I AM VERY HEART BROKEN FOR ALL OF YOU NICE FOLKS. PRAYING ALWAYS, LOVE, LINDA W.
ANGELS FOR ALL OF YOU ^i^ ^i^ ^i^

Permalink Reply by linda woodbridge on June 13, 2010 at 2:15am

HELLO EVERYONE,
TODAY HAS NOT BEEN SUCH A BAD DAY FOR ME.DONE SOME SHOPPING.THE METRO FOOD STORE IS JUST ACROSS THE STREET.VERY HANDY.I CAN EVEN WALK TO GET MY HAIR DONE ONCE A WEEK, WHEN I FEEL UP TO IT.

I AM SO VERY HAPPY TO KNOW I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS NEW WALK IN LIFE.YES IT IS HARD FOR ME TO BE ALONE.I STILL CRY. I BOUGHT A BOOK TO WRITE IN TODAY. I WILL FILL IT WITH ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT BOB AND I HAVE DONE.I DO NOT KNOW WHERE 23 YEARS WENT TO. IT WAS WAY TOO SHORT.GOOD YEARS.

I WILL GO TO MY SISTERS FOR FATHERS DAY SUPPER. MAYBE SPEND A WEEK WITH HER. THEY LIVE IN THE COUNTRY. I LOVE TO GO WALKING WHEN I CAN. SHE DOES NOT WANT ME TO BE ALONE. I WILL GO PUT NEW FLOWERS AT THE CEMETARY. BOB IS RIGHT BESIDE HIS PARENTS.I BOUGHT HIM NICE ROSE GRANITE HEADSTONE LAST YEAR.

I HAVE A HARD TIME SLEEPING STILL.MY DR. GAVE ME SLEEPING PILLS THAT HELP WITH THIS TO. THEY TAKE A BIT TO KICK IN. I WILL REPLY TO A FEW POSTS TONIGHT. TRY TO HELP OUT OTHERS TO. I FEEL SO VERY BLESSED TO HAVE FOUND THIS SITE.THANK YOU TO ALL THAT HELP ME OUT TO.BYE FOR NOW ALL, LOVE, LINDA W

Permalink Reply by Basia on June 14, 2010 at 10:11pm

Linda, I guess it will never go away. The pain and despair and hopelessness. I too try to think of all the good things but all I feel is pain. I don't smile when I think of them , I just break down and fall apart. I wish you a good night and a peaceful day. That's all we can wish for right now.
hugs to you, Basia

Permalink Reply by linda woodbridge on January 29, 2011 at 9:39pm

 HELLO DEAR FRIENDS,

I HAVE NOT BEEN HERE IN A YEAR, ANOTHER YEAR WITHOUT MY BOB.PASSED AWAY, NOV.21/08.I AM DOING A BIT BETTER.NOT A WHOLE LOT. I WENT TO GRIEF SHARE GROUP, NOT FOR ME!!BUT I WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST.JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN DO AND ONLY ONE DAY AT A TIME PLEASE. THIS IS ALL I CAN DO FOR NOW. BYE FOR NOW, LOVE, LINDA WOODBRIDGE

  

Permalink Reply by Pete Bronson on January 30, 2011 at 10:55pm

Hello Linda,

I am sorry to hear after a couple of years you are still suffering through the grief, I hoped in time this curse that has fallen upon us would weaken. I lost my wife, partner, best friend, cheerleader, soul-mate, etc. 2 days after Thanksgiving 2010 after a brief battle with lung and abdominal cancers. She was able to beat or live with several other health issues but at 55 the cancer was too much. My first birthday since her passing is tomorrow, hers was earlier this month and was a difficult day for me. I have not had a birthday without her since my 17th, I will be 49, and I am already dreading the day.

I hope someday we both find some peace, comfort, joy, and some happiness.

Prayers and Best Wishes,

Pete

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