When my husband and I were married we were 18 and 19 years old. It never occured to me if I married the day after my birthday it would be a problem. Tomorrow, June 7, is my birthday, the next day would be our 48th anniversary. My family is trying very hard to make my birthday and enjoyable day. Of course that is not going to be. I will try to give academy award performance of enjoyment because of my grandchildren. It is going to be stressful and painful. First one without Tim who died on Jan. 26th. I could really use some thoughts and prayers because I know all of you appreciate the pain.

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Judy, I am thinking of you and I know what you mean. My daugthers Birthday and husbands Birthday is ten days apart then after 3 weeks our anniversary. I am doing Baby steps everyday other wise I would go crazy or I already am!
Thank you so much for thinking of me and reminding me baby steps are really to we can do right now. I think we would be crazy if we were not crazy.

Fernandohulya said:
Judy, I am thinking of you and I know what you mean. My daugthers Birthday and husbands Birthday is ten days apart then after 3 weeks our anniversary. I am doing Baby steps everyday other wise I would go crazy or I already am!
You are right firsts are all over the place and some we see coming and some we don't. I remember from when our son died sometimes the anticipation of the day was worse than the day. On the other hand those two days were pretty bad. I guess we try not to cry in front of our family because we don't want them to worry more than they have to and we have always been the ones to turn to when they were upset and being the one who needs help is not a role many of us are used to playing. But yesterday my youngest daughter just looked at me and said "How can we live through the summer without Daddy?" and promptly burst into tears. She is not a child but 32 years old. When she burst into tears so did I and after we finished I felt a bit better. My husband was truly a summer person, liked being outside. We all went on vacation to the beach together every summer, ect. I did,however, make it through the day and today I feel like I have a hang over though I did not have a drop to drink. I guess when we try so hard it is very tiring.

Peg Otley said:
Dear Judy,
If there is one thing we learn to do it is to produce academy award performances.
I have had the birthday...mine not his. It was just another day. Our anniversary is in October and I am so afraid I am going to absolutley fall to pieces. It would have been our 37th. HIS birthday is going to be extremely hard because it is just 5 days before his first anniversary of his passing. He turned 61 on December 8th and he passed on Dec13th. WHY do we all think we have to be so strong? I know we ALL do it but WHY? I don't FEEL like it . I just want to let loose and cry my eyes out but I won't do it in front of the family. We are entitled to do that if we want. is it because it makes others uncomfortable? I know my amnswer is late but I certainly hope you got through it ok. THERE ARE SOOOO MANY different "FIRSTS" we have to go through and some of them come up without warning. God Bless All and (((((HUGS))))) to all.

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