Four months of weeks, of days and hours. When will this pain end, or will it ever. Don't they know how much I still hurt, how much I want and need my husband back. I feel like I am invisible. My children still call on occasion but they have their lives and families. My friends, don't call as often. They ask how I am, no different than I would ask them how they are. It's as if, I should be beyond the grieving and getting on with my life. I sit here by myself. We had just retired and were going to enjoy ourselves, oh how wrong our thinking was on that one. I am only 64 years old and I have no more hope of any future, no happiness. I've been widowed twice, I cannot bear to do this again. I only want to go with my husband, to see his eyes light up when I walk in the room, to hold his hand again as we walk down the street, to sit for hours together because we liked each others company. But the future only holds long lonely days. I feel so invisible, as everyone else goes about their lives. I know you all feel the same. That is one thing about this site, you soon learn your feeling mirror others. I don't expect to be happy again, I just want to be ok.