When my husband passed away in feb. we had to rush everything so fast because my husbands children from arizona could only stay a few days.Needless to say no arrangements had been made because that was an area that i chose not to venture in.So we hurriedly had the body cremated and made quick prepartion for the memorial service. Anyway i went and picked up the ashes a couple days after the memorial service and they have been at my home with me.My brother in law wants to have my husbands ashes buried while my husbands nephew is home on leave from the marines.That means sometime in the middle or end of july. I called today to try and get information about all of this and found myself getting very tearful. I knew this was suppose to be taking place but dont really know why I am not really ok with it. I know he wanted to be buried with his family and i understand all of that and i want to do what he wants but for some reason i am feeling really sad. of course i feel sad and depressed everyday, but this is especially making me more tearful.I am definantly not close with my husbands family. His brother and i had never had any contact until i called on him to help me with my husband after we found out about the cancer. I dont really think he cares about staying in contact now that his brother has passed on. In fact he and my husband really were never very close either. My husbands children, living in arizona, i probably only saw them 3 times for a few days at a time the whole 12 years we were together.I know we wont probably be keeping in contact with one another either. I had told my husband that i knew that the chance of me having a relationship with his family probably wouldnt happen because we are like total strangers to each other. It is a sad situation but what do you do. My husband had gotten very close with my immediate family.They became like his family.Holidays were always spent with my family or it would just be the two of us.I find myself just not wanting to deal with any kind of issues. I have become quite a procrastinater. I hate that i am going to have to deal with burying my husbands ashes because if it were left up to me i would just put it off. I dont know why i am feeling this way but i am. Just needed to write about this because i am feeling really down about this and really dont know why.Thanks for listening.