Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by CINDY POWELL on July 8, 2010 at 10:18pm

mary,
I understand how you feel. I have been thinking all day about how much i wish i could hear my husband voice just one more time.He used to call me every morning and evening as he was leaving work. I remember thinking , how silly, if only i could have known how someday i would be longing for those phone calls like i do today.recently got pictures back taken two christmases ago. we looked so very happy and little did we know that 14 months later he would be gone.i certainly have learned that we never know what life will hand us and no matter how much i want it to be my will, it is always going to be GODS WILL!!! God Bless you.

Permalink Reply by Connie on July 8, 2010 at 10:18pm

Mary, My heartfelt sympathy to you on your loss. I lost my husband 8 months tomorrow. Every day is agony. I exist now but I don't live. Without him my life is worthless. I miss him so very much and I love him so very much. I understand what you are saying about the younger generation and how easily they throw a marriage away. If they could only know the heartbreak of losing your spouse permanently and no through any choice you have made, maybe they would be more careful when they marry and make their marriage work. It takes much work to make a marriage successful. My husband and I were married 46 years on October 15th and he passed on November 9th. I was not ready to let him go and I wait now to be by his side again. Then I will be truly happy again. Until that time, I just go through the motions of life. I barely eat. I sleep only with the help of sleeping pills and anti-depressants. We were fortunate enough to have a happy marriage and I don't want to give that up. I am so sorry for your troubles with your daughter. I will remember you and your daughter in my prayers and maybe she will realize that her children need their father and things are not always better on the other side. May God Bless You.

Permalink Reply by Hurting on July 8, 2010 at 10:51pm

Mary I know how you feel, I am living same thing every day. My children and I miss him so much all the time. My son sleeps on my bed every night, my husband used to come and wake him up to go on his own bed. Yesterday he was asking me why doesn't dad ask me to move from his bed anymore. All these kind of questions and my heart feels as if it is breaking all over again. I used to phone my husband three four times every day, now he never picks up the phone. One morning he had come after me to the bus stop asking me why I am looking sad and now he doesn't come even when I am sad or crying. Why doesn't he? Doesn't he care for anyone of us anymore?

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on July 8, 2010 at 11:03pm

Hi Mary,
I also am so sorry for your loss. The things you have said is all that I have been saying for the last 5 and a half months. I just await the day God calls me and then I will rejoice. Also, I just shared the exact same feelings at the grief meeting I attended today that as much sorrow and sadness that I am going through I think that maybe the reason God didn't take me yet is because it is His will for me to let others know what it is like to be without the only man I truly loved for the last 39 years in hopes that whoever I happen to tell will think about what they are doing and appreciate one another. I am on this emotional roller coaster and I had no idea, no clue it would be like this. If I knew Danny would be gone on January 22, 2010 I would have loved him more, and shown it with actions and words more often and kept each precious moment with him. I was at a 50th birthday party about a month ago for one of Dan's nieces and Dan's sister saw her husband coming into the party late and I guess he was working and not planning on going, but when she saw him she said to me, Oh my God, he came, he's here and she jumped out of her chair and ran over to see him, all smiles and I know she must have hugged and kissed him before he came over to sit with us but I had to distract myself to not show my tears because I thought to myself I'll never be able to do that and then I thought I wished I did that more while Danny was still living. Still living. It's hard to believe I say those words. The only thing that gets me through each day is God because if I didn't have my faith in Him, I would not be here posting this message. I just wish I could have a do-over but there are no do-overs in this lifetime. I don't feel grateful for much lately as much as I used to when Dan was still here with me, but I have much thankfulness that this website is here and for understanding, caring people who, unfortunately know what its like to feel like this. Once again, Mary, I am sorry for your heartache and pain and also for the stress you have for your children and grandchildren. I will remember you in my prayers.
God bless,
Suzanne

Permalink Reply by Virginia on July 9, 2010 at 9:36am

Mary ,I'm sorry for your loss I lost my husband 4-29-09 and every day is a strugle, you are so right about the younger generation it is to easy to walk away then to work at a good marrage as it is a constent give and take on both parts and comunacation is the key to it all. I think there should be a law that before you can divorce both parties must go thru some serious counsling and live in the same house,unless there is violence they should be made to work on the problems I get so angry when they don't even want to try,the sad part in it all is the children, they truelly don't think about the kids only themselves it is sad. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this and the loss of your husband God be with you.

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on July 9, 2010 at 10:33am

mary: just read your comment i have to agree with you 100% we all wish we can have our spouses back because they were our lives. they were our best friend they were our world. people cannot understand the pain we have because they are not going thru this grieving i would give anything in the world i can to have my husband back. the saying goes you do not know what you have until it is gone.beleive me i know what i had i also need to be held talked to watch tv take walks go to the shore i miss this mary you daughter is a big girl she can handle this herself. you must handle your grieving first. i do not want to sound mean but you must think of mary then your daughter you take care of yourself

Permalink Reply by Fernandohulya on July 9, 2010 at 10:41am

Mary, I know what you mean when you say that woman and man these days just end their marriage just like a click of a button. I miss my Baby so much his presence, smell and his voice. I see couples leaving a relationship without even trying to work out the differences or understanding that marriage needs to be worked on as both partners grow either together (only when you work on it) or apart for peopel who do not understand the matrimonial conecpt. We only can look on in despair.