I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel because I am going through this grief as well. It was almost 6 months ago that my husband passed away and I never realized it would be like this. I had no clue. I know that every one has their unique way of how they landed on this road so I can imagine it must be very difficult for you to go through this with children to raise. I have never been so deeply depressed and distraught and lacking joy in my life and I have been living every day since January 22, 2010 with a deep longing to be by my rightful place beside Danny. But, I have to remind myself that this was an enormous wake-up call that this life is short and I need to live in each day rather than in the past or the future and I also have to remind myself that we were created to leave this earth some day and none of us know when that day will be. I feel that I am fortunate for all that God has blessed me with, like even though right now its so so hard for me to look at his pictures and think of memories of him, I know there will be days when I will remember him with all of the love I have for him. Because he was everything to me and I know I was everything to him and I have to always remember that. I have so much God has blessed me with, forgiveness, Faith, the gift of life, my life with Danny, our grandchildren and I could go on and on but there still days when I weep and cry for my lonliness and sorrow. I just know I have to come to terms with whatever comes and I am really glad that Dan isn't in so much pain any longer. I agree that no one knows this pain until they have experienced it. I just wanted you to know that you are in my prayers. My heart goes out to you, may you have peace.
God bless and (((((hugs))))),