It has been now 5 month since my Baby Fernando has left me.. I am totally lost and I feel like I am loosing my grip in most things and feel overwhelmed with tasks. I just seem to forget things even more now since then, I litterally forget what I thought five minutes ago and need to write things down but even then i just stare and burst into tears. I thought it supposed to get better but I am getting more depressed with why I am here apart from the obvious my children. I AM LOST WITHOUT MY BABY FERNANDO!

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I know how you feel. It has been 2 years for me since losing the love of my life. I used to could remember everything but not so much any more. My 16 year old son says to me Mom you can't remember like you used to. Since losing Barry my mind has not been the same. It has got a little better the last couple of months. When he firsy passed I could not remember anything. I would find my self at stores , driving around parking lots and not remembering how I got there or why I was there. Grieve can take a toll on you like nothing else. just try to take one thing at a time. You want get as much done as you used to but we are not the same people we used to be. Take Care.
DEAR FERNANDOHULYA,
I AM FEELING THE EXACT SAME WAY YOU ARE. BUT YOU DO NEED TO BE THEIR FOR YOUR CHILDREN, THOUGH I KNOW IT IS SO HARD. DO YOU ATTEND ANY KIND OF GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS OR PERHAPS INDIVIDUAL GRIEF COUNCELING? IF YOU DONT. PLEASE CHECK WITH YOUR LOCAL HOSPICE, THEY CAN STEER YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. I KNOW FOR ME I HAVE ATTENDED A FEW GRIEF GROUPS AND AM NOW THINKING ABOUT MAYBE INDIVIDUAL COUNCELING. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW NORMAL IT IS TO BE FEELING LIKE YOU ARE GOING BACKWARDS INSTEAD OF FORWARDS.MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.
Fernandohulva, today makes 15 months for me and I feel the same way, things go good for awhile then it is as if it was yesterday, we can only do the best we can to get thru each day, god bless
Today, was one of those days again like always where I write a to do list and by the end I managed maybe couple of things. I just can not stop thinking even more about my Baby how he is, what he is doing and so many things that I have no spare memory on anything else. How can someone be so absend minded all the time and I feel my life is not worth anything anymore. I am trying so hard to do the right things but I feel just nothing. The 6 month point is going to be in August where the jolly season of holiday is in full swing people, the whole world seem so happy!
FERNANDOHULYA,
TRY NOT TO BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. BELIEVE ME, I CANT GET MOTIVATED TO DO ANYTHING. I THANK GOD MAKE MYSELF GO TO WORK EVERYDAY BUT THAT FOR ME IS AN ESCAPISM. I USE TO EXERCISE 5 TO 7 DAYS A WEEK. NOW I TELL MYSELF I AM GOING TO, AND THEN WHILE I AM SITTING THEIR DRINKING MY COFFEE I TALK MYSELF OUT OF IT. I FEEL LIKE LACK OF SLEEP, EXERCISE, AND POOR EATING HABITS ARE GOING TO KILL ME AND HONESTLY DONT REALLY CARE. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE HAVE TO BE GENTLE WITH OURSELVES AND JUST DO THE BEST THAT WE CAN.
Hulya and to all, great topic. I havent had a grip in over 15 months. Absent mindedness ? Thats all I am. I guess we will have all these symptoms forever. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.

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