Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Deb S on October 3, 2016 at 4:49pm

Melody, I am so sorry to read about the sudden loss of your husband last Monday. You have my sincere sympathy and condolences. I also lost my husband suddenly. Please know that you can lean on me as you struggle with the trauma of the unexpected loss of your husband. We have a wide and varied group with one constant among everyone here. Each of us are caring and sympathetic and offer our strength, compassion, and prayers. Honestly, I did not begin to recover until I stumbled upon this group. The members have become family. I remain incredibly grateful to each person here.

Is your physician supportive and helpful? Do you have friends and family available to assist you in the upcoming weeks? It is difficult to imagine the range of emotions that you are currently experiencing. You are awaiting the miracle of the birth of your first child, an event that you and your husband were anxiously and excitedly anticipating. I am so sorry that you will now be experiencing this event without the physical presence of your precious husband. My hugs, thoughts, extra strength, and prayers will continue to be with you during this incredibly difficult time.  Debbie

Permalink Reply by Sara Murphy on October 3, 2016 at 5:31pm

Melody, I'm so sorry and saddened to hear of your unexpected loss.  You have my very sincere condolences.  I'm only 8 1/2 months into my grief journey.  My husband and I were together for 30 years when he passed at age 52 in January.  We don't have children so I can't imagine the added grief you must feel.  As Deb has mentioned, we've all become a little family here as we help each other through the worst time of our lives.   You'll come to realize that family and friends who have never experienced the loss of a spouse will not be able to understand how you feel and what thoughts go through your mind.  For me, it was a blessing when I found this site and could see my thoughts in writing but written by someone else.  That's when I knew I was in the right place.   Here you'll find true acceptance and understanding.  I hope you'll continue to come here for support, even if it's just to read comments on the wall.  It'll make you feel a little less alone.

Hugs and prayers,

Sara

Permalink Reply by Trina Mamoon on October 3, 2016 at 7:11pm

Dear Melody,

My deepest and heartfelt condolences to you on the loss of your beloved husband. Losing the love of your life, your life partner at any time is devastating, but losing your husband suddenly when you are expecting your first child is beyond devastating. I can only offer you prayers for consolation and for some measure of peace.

I lost my husband Joseph 2 years ago to lung cancer. He was the love of my life and we were together for 19 years and married for 14. My life has been cruelly changed forever. Two years later I still miss him every single day and cry every single day, but my pain is no longer as acute as it was one year ago. I continue to mourn Joseph and will do so until I take my last breath, but the agony and anguish are not as harrowing as in the first year. 

I am hoping that you, too, over time will come to a point where your pain is more tempered and you are able to find comfort in the happy memories that you made together with your husband. Meantime, I hope that you have the love and support of your family and friends.

Sending you vibes of empathy and prayers for courage and strength.

Hugs, Trina

Permalink Reply by Harold McKinstry on October 3, 2016 at 7:23pm

Melody

I'm so sorry to hear about the lost of your Husband that is hard enough to deal with and to be ready to deliver your first child that's got to be hard. Like Deb and Sara said I look at this as my second family, I agree it's hard for someone who hasn't gone through the loss of a spouse to understand the grief and loneliness we go through. It's been eight months since I lost my Wife unexpectedly. I have found this site to be the most helpful thing I have done. The people on here don't pass judgement over anything you feel, I along with everyone else just want to help each other on the road of grief. I have found it helpful to post whatever I am feeling no matter how dark or weird it may seem. There are people new to there loss all the way up to six years since they lost there spouse. Just to be able to get it off your chest and have people tell you your not crazy and what you feel is normal makes all the difference in the world. I wish I could tell you something that would relieve the grief, there isn't. I have found the best thing that helps me is to not look too far ahead. Otherwise I get depressed when I see the future alone. I try to do the right things, and keep trying to move forward even if it's baby steps at first with the idea I will learn to live with the pain and cope better. I hope you find the same help and peace on this site that I have, I have a long way to go put I have improved thanks to kindhearted and loving people on this site. I wish you well Melody

Permalink Reply by DJ on October 3, 2016 at 7:55pm

So sorry for your loss. As the others have noted, this is a good place to be - even though none of us want to be on this grief journey. Although the tragedy that put us here ia the same, the path is different for each of us. I'm so grateful I found this site.
My wife died 2014Feb, 11 months after brain cancer diagnosis. We'd been together 37 years, and were just a couple months away from our retirement adventure. I was numb for months; I'm only now noticing "the fog" lifting. The pain is not nearly as acute, but the ache hasn't gone away. I speak to her all the time, which I think keeps me sane (althought I dwouldn't want to get caught...).
I can only imagine the agonizing emotions of the miracle of pregnancy colliding with the loss of your husband.
Prayers. Hugs.

Permalink Reply by Gretchen G on October 4, 2016 at 11:04am

Melody - my heart is breaking for you right now.

My husband Paul passed away two weeks after our first, and only, son was born.  He was on his way home from work (on his motorcycle) and was struck by someone who swerved out of the lane. 

Please keep coming to this site and I've also sent you a friend request if you want to chat more privately.  This has been the place I feel most comfortable sharing when I need to get something off my chest.

Permalink Reply by Marsha H on October 8, 2016 at 5:48pm

Dear Melody ...  My deepest sympathy and condolence of the sudden loss of your husband.  I know that the world seems upside down to you right now and you are probably not just grieving, but fearful as to what the future holds. 

My husband passed April 27, 2011 at age 65 of pancreatic cancer (almost 40 years of marriage) and we were unable to have any children.

Hon, although these words will seem empty to you right now because you are in shock and disbelief I truly believe your husband will be right there with you when you give birth to your wee one.  Try to remember that this wee babe is part of your husband and so your husband's heart beats on.  Lean on family, friends and of course I'm here as well as all of the other members.  We are all compassionate and totally understand how you are feeling.  Just post what you are feeling as we are always here when one falls into despair and we protect each other and encourage.  You are stronger than you think and when you see that little wee face of your new babe the love you feel will be beyond explanation. 

You are now family to us and we're always here for you so please don't feel alone. 

Big hugs

Marsha 

Permalink Reply by Steve Cain on November 12, 2016 at 10:23pm

Melody,

I actually can relate to your situation. One of the women in my support group had found out shortly before the tragic accident that took her husband that she was expecting. She had the baby shortly after the end of our group meetings. Having the baby actually helped her heal as she told us because that way she always had a part of her husband with her.

Please keep us updated as to what is going on and if you need help finding local resources in terms of grief counselling let me know and I will be happy to help find someone in your area.

Permalink Reply by Susan on November 13, 2016 at 10:38pm

Melody,

      I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my spouse, Michael, a little over eight years ago when our little girl was two weeks old.  We had about a two and a half months notice as he passed away at the age of 34 from lung cancer.  We had been married for almost 7 years.  If you need to talk, please let me know.  It is always a hard time when you lose someone but a spouse and suddenly is extremely difficult.  Hope this helps.

Susan

Permalink Reply by Barbara on December 6, 2016 at 10:59pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancé October 11 very unexpectedly and it has turned my world upside down