"Five days ago, I lost my husband of 48 years. I hope to find a grief support group in Palm Springs in addition to this online group."
Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
Am I nuts or am I nuts. You decide.
I am torn between saying nothing to be considered insane or sharing wonderful things that have been happening to me. I know you are all going to think I'm nuts. I just have a feeling. But I have to tell you or I'm going to explode. For the second time I went to a 'night out' with a few caring family members and about 50 or more strangers who have been going through grief from the loss of their loved ones I had an experience with who I believe is an outragously funny, kind, caring young woman called 'the comedienne medium' who gave most everyone in the room messages from their loved ones. She helps children with cancer mostly but others transition through to their imminent death. She was in a car accident years ago and the surgeons and professionals couldn't understand how she got out of the car (it was scrunched) and why she didn't need to have facial surgery even though when she came in to the emergency all of the bones in her face were broken). Anyway she gradually started realizing she received the gift of sensing others in the afterlife and helps cancer victims, prays over them, and does free readings for those whose lost a child, and helps others in many other ways,but because she has made this her life's work, she charges for her 'shows' 3 times weekly. She told me messages that only I would know were from Danny, (crazy right) and that everyone whether they get a message or not left with a healing experience but not everyone is guaranteed a reading. My skeptical son, my skeptical sister and her skeptical daughter got readings which are still giving them chills. They said that in no way she would know all the things she said. One woman and another younger woman both were told their loved one died from hanging. Everyone was aghast, but she said she's not a psychic and never tells anyone anything bad will happen to them. She tries to keep it lighthearted because she knows it is a very serious matter but when you take life too seriously since we are all headed for the same place, you may stay in the same place for the rest of your life and not be there for our purpose to be fulfilled. Some she told that their husband wants them to get another person to love, and I and another widow were told that she knows our spouse was the only one for us. She told me things that I can't ignore, as skeptical as I am like Danny didn't want to die but the cancer went too far and that he wants me to live my life, to be independent, and it's not my time yet and to find my purpose. She told others in the room many different things but to me she said that Danny said I was everything to him and he wanted to thank me for all I did for him to make him comfortable until his death. (I still have goosebumps) My son had something told to him very personal that only he knew about his 8 year old son and my sister and her daughter have had startling revelations and that our family is being helped by Danny and my other nephew who died from a heroin OD last June and that he didn't mean for his life to end that way (but it was an addiction) when our 42 year old nephew was alive he always said he was afraid to die. She said many other things that no one would know. I believe that for the most part there are charlatans, and I don't like Sylvia Brown, I don't believe in Tarot Cards, Astrology and I know I am a Christian deep down, but I also believe that this person that we all got a healing presence from is a person who has a heart of gold and everyone leaves feeling good. Both times I felt that Danny really was with me, and watching over all of us, and helping in a way he couldn't when he was here. I can't say that I am denying all of the thoughts I've felt before, but I (and I'm only speaking for myself) know without a doubt that I am at the very beginning stages of remembering Danny from the moment we met on Sept. 11, 1970 and all the good times we shared for the next 39 years. I find myself not being deep as in depression, talking and laughing more with my family, seeking other's views so that I can make Danny proud for every single moment I loved and cherished him and most of all feeling good for our precious memories. Say what you will, think what you want, I believe God wanted me to have an open mind. There are some out there that we can consider to have certain gifts from God. I am thinking of what I can do to improve my attitude and stop being self-centered, and I'm only talking for myself, because there are so many people that are suffering out there, in pain, struggling that could use my help, I still cry hot tears when I think of my great loss but now sometimes I think of feeling joy and thinking of what I can do to help others which brings me tears of joy. I only pray each and every one of you can come to your own peace of mind and have some kind of hope. Hope to have a reason to live. I AM NOT PROMOTING ANYTHING and I still feel my heart is so sad for everyone who is going through this hell called grief and I keep you all in my prayers.
God bless to all and ((HUGS))
Suzanne
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by bc on
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Suzanne, first of all thank you for sharing your story. It's been almost 14 months for me without Brad and every day would blend into another.I didn't know which way to turn because I always expected to see him here. 'We literally spent 24/7 together because we chose to. So when he left so suddenly part of me went with him. I am not and never will be the same person I used to be because a big part of me is gone and now I have to find my new self in a new life alone without him. I say alone because that is what I have chosen. Before I met Brad I had two bad marriages. One husband almost killed me because he was fresh out of the war in Vietman and his mind was so messed up. The second was an alcoholic and it was getting really close to domestic abuse when my two daughters (ages 14 and 16) packed their things one night and said Mom lets leave. So we did, I feel they saved my life. Then I met Brad and he was the one! He loved me and the girls and really showed us what a true family was all about. Anyway, we had 15 years together, worked together with our own company, went to the grocery store, gas station, even to get our haircut together! The day he left was the only time he didn't ask me to go with him to the store and I wasn't with him. 35 seconds after he drove out of the driveway he suffered cardiac arrest and was gone. I tell you all of this because I wanted you to know why I miss him so much and am so lonely. On the 1st anniversary of losing him I told myself that after all he gave me, the strength to get through any situation, the love of life and to do whatever he could to help anyone I am thankful for that. He always wanted me by his side when he would be working on something, and one day, a long time ago he said that's because if anything ever happened to him, I could survive. Well, after all he gave me, I told myself that the only thing I could give him, the only gift was to have some positive days, to miss him but to try and go on the way he wanted me to. A few days later I was visited by someone at work, I believe it was an angel, she knew things about what I was going through that no one would know. I felt a peace when she was there and when she left I was behind her in my car. Within seconds I could not see her car anywhere, its like it vanished! I know it sounds strange but I truly believe this was an angel sent to give me peace. Since that day I have felt different somehow, I can't explan it. What do you think? I have not told many people this story because they might think I'm going off the deep end,but I'm telling you because I believe that you will understand. I too have my meltdowns, just yesterday was one, but then I think about this and I feel my job on this earth is to try and help others and that will help me to be strong. I pray that you will find peace and hope in this life we have been given to live, and that you do find a reason to live and go on. I'm glad someone else has had a revelation also. You are in my prayers. Please keep in touch. Where do you live? I am in Wisconsin. God Bless You!
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Permalink Reply by Virginia on
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Suzanne, wow how wonderfull for you,I am, happy you got the messages you did as I have always belived they are with us and giulding us, but it dosen't make the pain go away but yes I find it brings comfort to think or know they are ( here ) with us, and no your not nuts lol none of us are we are all just dealing with our losses different, and even tho I believe Mike is watching and guideing me I would love to get a reading just for valadation, again I'm so happy for you and dosen't it feel good to remember without so much pain, it dosen't mean we quit loving them or love them less, but loved our life with them. God Bless and hugs.
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You've got that right Virginia, hope you are doing well, think of you often! Hugs!
Virginia said:Suzanne, wow how wonderfull for you,I am, happy you got the messages you did as I have always belived they are with us and giulding us, but it dosen't make the pain go away but yes I find it brings comfort to think or know they are ( here ) with us, and no your not nuts lol none of us are we are all just dealing with our losses different, and even tho I believe Mike is watching and guideing me I would love to get a reading just for valadation, again I'm so happy for you and dosen't it feel good to remember without so much pain, it dosen't mean we quit loving them or love them less, but loved our life with them. God Bless and hugs. -
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You've got that right Virginia, hope you are doing well, think of you often! Hugs!
Virginia said:Suzanne, wow how wonderfull for you,I am, happy you got the messages you did as I have always belived they are with us and giulding us, but it dosen't make the pain go away but yes I find it brings comfort to think or know they are ( here ) with us, and no your not nuts lol none of us are we are all just dealing with our losses different, and even tho I believe Mike is watching and guideing me I would love to get a reading just for valadation, again I'm so happy for you and dosen't it feel good to remember without so much pain, it dosen't mean we quit loving them or love them less, but loved our life with them. God Bless and hugs. -
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Permalink Reply by Connie on
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Suzanne, What a wonderful story and I am so very happy for you that you had a positive experience. You have suffered so very much over the past several months that I think it is absolutely great that you can now feel some of that depression lifted from you. I, also, am a Christian but I don't discount the fact that some people do exist that may be able to communicate with our families who have gone before us. I do also firmly believe that we can be visited by our loved ones whether it be in a dream or whatever. I know tht Phil came to tell me that he could walk without pain (that was a major problem for him before he passed). I am sure that there will never be another for you because you and Danny had a very good life together. I know that there will never be another for me because I love my husband with all my heart and I do not want or need anyone else. Suzanne, you have made a much better day for me today just knowing that you are feeling a little better. May God Bless You and I will continue praying for you.
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Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on
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Suzanne,
It is wonderful that you experienced this message from beyond and it has given you some comfort and peace. I too, believe that some people are "gifted" with the ability to see or speak to the dead. About 20 years ago, I had a reader come to a party I was having., She too, charged a small fee, and read all my guests that evening. She told me some things that did eventually come true, things that I told her would never happen, like a sister-in-law in our family causing a lot of stress and anxiety after my brother died. This sister-in-law did cause a lot of hurt and anxiety. The scary part for me was, she told me I would get married again. I asked her if my husband was going to die and she said she couldn't tell me that, ( even though I think she could, she just didn't want to tell me.) I thought of it as entertainment and never took it to seriously, until the events happened. My husband would makes jokes all the time about "my next husband" because of her readings. Neither of us took it too seriously though. I don't know about the "getting married again," I can't imagine that right now, but I do believe in this very much, and I am so glad you got to experience it.
Take care,
Nancy S -
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Permalink Reply by Marlena on
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Suzanne,
I am so excited for you! It is great that you were able to receive validation that Danny is here and watching over all of you. It is a relief and a bit cathartic to hear those comforting words. I am so glad you were able to have an open mind. I truly believe there are people that can "sense" what our loved ones want to express to us. You "sound" different in your writing. I completely understand that we will always miss our loves and love them more everyday, that will not change, but eventually our depression shifts. We can look at pictures and smile, or hear songs that still make us cry, but in a different sense.
I know I was changed by my experience with a medium. She was able to give me the validation I needed at the time that Tom was with me and our kids. It was almost as if some of the weight had been lifted. I did not miss him any less, but I could breathe a little easier. He saw things we were doing and he approved of how I was handling things. It was an overall comforting feeling.
I am so glad you had a good experience.
Good thoughts and hugs to you! -
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Permalink Reply by Yvonne on
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Suzanne
I am so happy for you. Your spirits seem to have been lifted by this positive and wonderful experience. -
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Permalink Reply by Kay Arcuni on
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Suzanne,
I too believe myself to be a Christian and as such I believe in a life after death. I also believe that there are certain people that are able to feel or see others but I am certain that children can speak to those on the other side, because they are pure of heart.
Hopefully one day i will beable to speak to my Joe again. It has only been 6 weeks since Joe left me so I am sure he is still getting settled in where he is at right now. I just hope he is not as sad as I am. -
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Permalink Reply by Sandy on
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Thank-you all for sharing what you did. It makes my heart feel so warm and open. Im always trying to tell myself its wrong to believe Bobs always there but it doesn't work because Im always feeling in my heart he is. I just dont tell people. I don't see him which i would love but I do feel him. I have never went to a medium but it sure would be wonderful to run into a real one. I don't think they have them in a small town like mine. I can tell you I had two different dreams with Bob in them and I was so happy. Very sad when I woke up but I was so happy that I got to see him two more times. I didn't get to say good bye either and that part hurt so bad and still does. I have a good friend and her husband lately they have been bringing up that I should go out on dates. I know they are trying to tell me in good nature but its only been since the end of Feb and we had been together thru high school and got married when he came back from Vietnam. In reality havent dated anyone else since age 15 Im 57. I dont get it why or how they can think at this time or ever I should date. Instead of getting upset Ive just said Im not ready yet. On top of that I feel it would be horrible to expect any human being to go out with a person that is grieving and a complete mess mentally and physically. And knowing that you love one man forever. He has my complete heart. I think it would hurt my son terribly. Ok I wasnt go to tell this story but I was driving to another town one day. I have this one picture I love of Bob on my cell phone wall paper. I looked up in the sky and I swear this cloud
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Thank-you all for sharing what you did. It makes my heart feel so warm and open. Im always trying to tell myself its wrong to believe Bobs always there but it doesn't work because Im always feeling in my heart he is. I just dont tell people. I don't see him which i would love but I do feel him. I have never went to a medium but it sure would be wonderful to run into a real one. I don't think they have them in a small town like mine. I can tell you I had two different dreams with Bob in them and I was so happy. Very sad when I woke up but I was so happy that I got to see him two more times. I didn't get to say good bye either and that part hurt so bad and still does. I have a good friend and her husband lately they have been bringing up that I should go out on dates. I know they are trying to tell me in good nature but its only been since the end of Feb and we had been together thru high school and got married when he came back from Vietnam. In reality havent dated anyone else since age 15 Im 57. I dont get it why or how they can think at this time or ever I should date. Instead of getting upset Ive just said Im not ready yet. On top of that I feel it would be horrible to expect any human being to go out with a person that is grieving and a complete mess mentally and physically. And knowing that you love one man forever. He has my complete heart. I think it would hurt my son terribly. Ok I wasnt go to tell this story but I was driving to another town one day. I have this one picture I love of Bob on my cell phone wall paper. I looked up in the sky and I swear this cloud was shaped like Bobs Face on the phone I about wrecked from looking over and over and thought I was really nutty. It made me laugh because he did have a sense of humor. I thought oh well I guess I am just loseing it. But I did laugh. Thank-you all for being here. I havent wrote for awhile but it helps so much to know your not alone with this new life. I feel like almost everything in my life is new. God bless everyone Sandy from WY
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lol sandy that was funny thanks for sharing
Sandy said:Thank-you all for sharing what you did. It makes my heart feel so warm and open. Im always trying to tell myself its wrong to believe Bobs always there but it doesn't work because Im always feeling in my heart he is. I just dont tell people. I don't see him which i would love but I do feel him. I have never went to a medium but it sure would be wonderful to run into a real one. I don't think they have them in a small town like mine. I can tell you I had two different dreams with Bob in them and I was so happy. Very sad when I woke up but I was so happy that I got to see him two more times. I didn't get to say good bye either and that part hurt so bad and still does. I have a good friend and her husband lately they have been bringing up that I should go out on dates. I know they are trying to tell me in good nature but its only been since the end of Feb and we had been together thru high school and got married when he came back from Vietnam. In reality havent dated anyone else since age 15 Im 57. I dont get it why or how they can think at this time or ever I should date. Instead of getting upset Ive just said Im not ready yet. On top of that I feel it would be horrible to expect any human being to go out with a person that is grieving and a complete mess mentally and physically. And knowing that you love one man forever. He has my complete heart. I think it would hurt my son terribly. Ok I wasnt go to tell this story but I was driving to another town one day. I have this one picture I love of Bob on my cell phone wall paper. I looked up in the sky and I swear this cloud was shaped like Bobs Face on the phone I about wrecked from looking over and over and thought I was really nutty. It made me laugh because he did have a sense of humor. I thought oh well I guess I am just loseing it. But I did laugh. Thank-you all for being here. I havent wrote for awhile but it helps so much to know your not alone with this new life. I feel like almost everything in my life is new. God bless everyone Sandy from WY -
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