Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda G. on June 20, 2011 at 5:10pm

Deb,  I am sorry for both of your losses. I also had a hard Fathers Day.  I lost the love of my life 8 months ago.  My Father is still alive, but we have no relationship.(that is a whole nother story)

I have 2 sons, ages 30 and 40.  They were so close to their "POP".  They both were right there to help me with Neal the last 2 weeks of his life.  They have also been right there for me also.  I have been so devastated with Neal being gone, I feel guilty for not being there for my boys.

Both of my sons had a hard time yesterday (Sunday).  I gave each of them a card and a memento of their POP's. I keep reading and people keep telling me that all the "first" are bad.  I don't see how any of the days will ever be any easier that the "first".

I think that when you lose the love of your life who is your solemate, things will never be better.  How can they be easier when you have lost part of yourself, the person with whom you had plans that you will never get to do together, the person you slept with for over 40 years, the Daddy to your children, the grandfather to your grandchildren.  I could go on and on but you know what I mean.

It has been bad now for over a week, with his birthday, the 8 month anniversary and Father's Day. I just have to get back to doing one day at a time.

Permalink Reply by Deb on June 20, 2011 at 5:19pm

Thank you, Linda!  I know exactly what you mean and how you feel.  Junior's 70th birthday would have been 5/24, then Father's Day 6/19, and today - 6/20 . our son-in-law's birthday and the day my Junior passed away.  There has not been one day out of the past 2 years that I have not thought of Junior-something we did, somewhere we traveled, or just him holding me!  You're right - I know exactly what you mean.  Today has just really been a terribly hard day .  . but, like you, I go on one day at a time.  That is the only way I function now!  Things will never be the same!!  Take care, God bless!!

Hugs -- (hugs) are good!!

 

 

Permalink Reply by Jo Bartoszek on June 20, 2011 at 6:40pm

I agree, Father's Day was tough.  My Dave left this world May 14 very suddenly.  I have a 36 year old & 40 year old son.  I know it was hard on us all.  We all went out to the cemetery. I cried alot (as I do every day).  Today my air conditioning went out.  I live in Texas and it' s so miserably hot.  I can't get it replaced until tomorrow.  This is my first "big" decision I've had to make in the past month and I needed his input and opinion so bad.  I am still at the stage where I have an "elephant" sitting on my chest and sometimes I feel like I can hardly breathe. You are correct, things will never be the same.  I just can't get that through to my heart yet. Yes, it is one day at a time.  Thanks to all!

Permalink Reply by Deb on June 20, 2011 at 11:40pm

Jo,

    I am so very sorry about your loss - I know it is hard on your children, but also know how hard it is for you.  I lost my Dad in 1992-I am a Daddy's girl, and thought there would never be anything as tough as that loss!  Wow, I only thought I knew how my Mom felt when Dad passed away!!  I never even began to realize how very alone she felt.  Bless your heart, I live in Alabama so I know how hot and humid the temperatures have been and are going to continue to be!!  Hope you get your air conditioning replaced asap!!  Please write any time you want -- even if you just need someone to whom you can vent.  My email is debbier53@hotmail.com.  Please take care of yourself--one day at a time!!  Hugs - hugs are always good!!

Jo Bartoszek said:

I agree, Father's Day was tough.  My Dave left this world May 14 very suddenly.  I have a 36 year old & 40 year old son.  I know it was hard on us all.  We all went out to the cemetery. I cried alot (as I do every day).  Today my air conditioning went out.  I live in Texas and it' s so miserably hot.  I can't get it replaced until tomorrow.  This is my first "big" decision I've had to make in the past month and I needed his input and opinion so bad.  I am still at the stage where I have an "elephant" sitting on my chest and sometimes I feel like I can hardly breathe. You are correct, things will never be the same.  I just can't get that through to my heart yet. Yes, it is one day at a time.  Thanks to all!

Permalink Reply by Sheryl McCormick on June 21, 2011 at 9:35pm

Father's Day was very hard for me.  My own father died in 2003 and of course I miss him but my husband died in November 2010 and June 19th is his birthday - double wammy.  Very hard day for me - I couldn't keep from crying..  This was the first birthday since he died - very painful.

Permalink Reply by Deb on June 21, 2011 at 10:01pm

Sheryl, I am so very sorry for your losses!!  I know that you understand how the loss of a Dad is so tough, but the loss of a mate is completely different--and so much harder, or it has been for me!  I hope you have a better week--know that you are in my thoughts and prayers every day.