I am having a really hard time dealing with my spouse of 34 years. I was 25 when we got married and knew it was right from the first time we meet. I lost him 3 weeks ago and don't know where to turn for support. I have recording of his voice I listen to over and over, but it just makes me safer knowing I will not see that man that matches that voice again. I don't know what to do, I'm so lost, it has been a blur the death, planning the service, notifying organizations and agencies. Now, I'm alone and the quiet is deafening! It is so hard laying in the bedroom that we shared for so many years alone. I turn and see him lying there for almost a week while he was passing and all the family and friends coming by to pay their respects. How do I lay here anymore without those images in my mind? I'm sorry, I'm just lost and don't know where to turn. I'm going to really dark places I don't want to go to, cause I've been in that place before (when my 24 yr old brother was murdered) and it's a horrible place to be. Im reaching out this time which I did not with my brother and i almost lost my life because of it.
I guess I just want to know is this unsure thinking is normal after such a horrible loss. He was my rock!!!
I'm just so loss!!!

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Replies to This Discussion

My wife of 33 years passed away a year and a half ago. I still have times when the loss still is so painful. I got some help from classes at Hospice -- classes or groups made up of other widows and widowers. Hospice also offered me individual sessions with a therapist. Even though you husband may not have passed away under Hospice care, I believe Hospice can still offer you some kind of help. I also got help from antidepressants prescribed my doctor.  Try to go out, spend time with friends or make new acquaintances. Especially helpful will be those who have also lost their spouses.Your loss is still so fresh. Gradually as time goes by, it will hurt less. Know that you are not alone in your pain.

Richard Gordon
Sorry for your loss of your wife also. We were married anout the same amount of time...it was more then half my life. I know mine is still so fresh is the main reason I am having such a hard time not knowing what to do. Yes, he did pass under hospice care. Almost to the day 1 year ago he had a traumatic truck accident about 1/8 of a mile down the road from our house and was on life support for a very long time, in numerous hospitals and nursing homes and his health just gradually declined. So, thank you I will check into the Hospice Group that he had. I pray you are right and it gets a little easier, because at the moment it don't feel like it will ever get better. I'm in the house we lived 30 of our 34 years together and every inch is a memory, bedding and cutse...it feels like. Thank you for listening Richard.
I'm glad I found this site. Patty
Richard
I
Meant House is Blessing and Curse. fingers too fat...lol

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