Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda Robertson on September 30, 2010 at 7:52am

Hello Patti,

Thanks for all your kind words.
Yes it is so hard to go on with out them.
But I know my Lord AND Savior is with me every step of the way.
But it does you good to chat whit others who have gone through the same as you, and again thanks so much.
I will keep you in my prayers, HUGS HUGS TO YOU.


Thanks Linda

Linda Robertson said:

Patti Baker said:

Linda, I was married 55 years to the most wonderful man, he passed away 1 year and 5 months ago. I cry sometimes, I miss his warm lips and hands, his gentle touch and most of all I just miss him, I am a realtor so I keep busy, I go out to dinner with friends, I take trips (automobile) with my dog Jack, I go to the cemetery weekly and talk to my husband. I talk to him all day sometimes when Iam driving. I believe they hear you. I am selling the big house and moving to a townhouse in town, I now live in the country on 5 acres -- too much work.....stay busy and think happy thoughts.........

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on September 30, 2010 at 9:15am

hi linda: first of all sorry for your loss i lost my husband 18 months ago tomorrow 10/1/10 it is the hardest thing i every went thru. i to have a son who is 34 and another son who is 31 they are good to me and call me almost every night to see how i am doing i try to put on a show saying i am ok but inside i am dying i also miss my angel every day and night cry anger and talking to him asking him why

Permalink Reply by Linda Robertson on October 2, 2010 at 7:38am

Hello Patti, I to feel sorry for you, I do know we have to just take one day at a time, I it so hard and lonely without them, But I am sure, Thay would want us not to be sad, And thay would want us to go on with our lives, But that is so hard to do, I hate to see Friday nights come that is when all my famly goes home and does things on there on, ( as thay should ) But it sure is lonely and blue for me, But I just ask God to let me hold to his hand, and I get through it, I hope I might have said something that might have helped you some, My prayers willbe with you and all of us that is faceing this, and it is not easy, HUGS to you. Linda

Patti Baker said:

Linda, I was married 55 years to the most wonderful man, he passed away 1 year and 5 months ago. I cry sometimes, I miss his warm lips and hands, his gentle touch and most of all I just miss him, I am a realtor so I keep busy, I go out to dinner with friends, I take trips (automobile) with my dog Jack, I go to the cemetery weekly and talk to my husband. I talk to him all day sometimes when Iam driving. I believe they hear you. I am selling the big house and moving to a townhouse in town, I now live in the country on 5 acres -- too much work.....stay busy and think happy thoughts.........

Permalink Reply by Brigitte on October 2, 2010 at 6:27pm

Linda,

My husband died in July 2009 and I am in my second year of grieving. I have discovered that the second year is much more painful then the first. The first year I was too numb to realize or focus on anything, but now that I have been through the "firsts" I am discovering that I seem to have more time to actually "feel" the loss of my dear husband. We were married 26 years but together 32 years. We did everything together and yet we still maintained our own identities. He was more then a husband -- he was my best friend. I miss him every day and I cry a lot. I have been told that I am "sad" and I suppose that I am. A piece of me is missing and a certain spark is gone. But I am hoping that in time I find that spark again. I feel your pain. Being lonely is the most difficult. Seeing other couples makes my heart ache for the touch of his hand in mine or one more hug. We are all on this path together and can relate. I take it one day at a time. If I go one day without crying that is a day to celebrate. In time I am hoping to have a solid week of no tears! Best wishes to you all.

Peace,

Brigitte

Permalink Reply by bc on October 2, 2010 at 8:26pm

Glenda, you said everything perfectly! Its like you reached into my head and felt everything I feel. Everything you said is so true and I'm going to remember that quote. It might get me through those tough times we all have. Its been almost 14 months for me and I still feel the lonliness and heartache. It won't go away, it will just feel different someday. Bless you!




Glenda F. Camp said:

Hello Linda,

I lost my husband of 26 years on November 10, 2009. He was 25 years older than I. We, too, worked together and were rarely apart. He was the love of my life and truly my soulmate, so I believe I can say with all sincerity that I know where you are in the grieving process. When you have had a marriage like you describe, it is very hard to be alone particularly when you have spent time witness others and jhave to return to an empty house. Crying is such a necessary part of grieving your loved one in your journey to the other side of grief. We who have lost the loves of our life are on a journey we did not want to take. Nevertheless, we are plodding along the best we can. When I feel like crying, I cry. When sadness becomes overwhelming I remind myself of aa quote I read:"Do not cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." I have no idea who wrote these words, but they are a great comfort to me. I have to tell you this does not always work, but the further into the grief process I get, the more likely it is to work. I also remind myself that my beloved would not want me to live the rest of my life bogged down in sadness. It would not be an appropriate tribute to the wonderful life we had together. He always had great faith in my strength and my ability to take care of myself. He was my biggest cheerleader. We lived a life full of professional accomplishment and great adventures I would never have had were it not for him. You can get through these rough spots. Please know that there are so many people who are or have been where you are now. We support each other. Remember, we all grieve in different ways. There are no right or wrong ways to deal with the loss of your soulmate.

Permalink Reply by bc on October 2, 2010 at 8:30pm

Bridgett, I too am in my second year of grieving and it is exactly as you put it. It is hard to see others holding hands and enjoying each other while my best friend and soul mate, the man who said we would always be together and live out our dreams is gone. A part of me also has gone, but I, like you am trying to have positive days. It never will go away but somehow it will be different. Hugs to you!



Brigitte said:

Linda,

My husband died in July 2009 and I am in my second year of grieving. I have discovered that the second year is much more painful then the first. The first year I was too numb to realize or focus on anything, but now that I have been through the "firsts" I am discovering that I seem to have more time to actually "feel" the loss of my dear husband. We were married 26 years but together 32 years. We did everything together and yet we still maintained our own identities. He was more then a husband -- he was my best friend. I miss him every day and I cry a lot. I have been told that I am "sad" and I suppose that I am. A piece of me is missing and a certain spark is gone. But I am hoping that in time I find that spark again. I feel your pain. Being lonely is the most difficult. Seeing other couples makes my heart ache for the touch of his hand in mine or one more hug. We are all on this path together and can relate. I take it one day at a time. If I go one day without crying that is a day to celebrate. In time I am hoping to have a solid week of no tears! Best wishes to you all.

Peace,

Brigitte

Permalink Reply by Linda Robertson on October 3, 2010 at 5:43pm

Hello Doreen, Thanks for you letter,It ment a lot to me, I never knew there was so many of us out there that shares so much, Its been 26 LONG Mounths now, And I still miss him as much if not more than the first week, I miss him here to hold my hand, or just giving me hugs,when something is just not right,
and I miss him in my big lonely bed to just lye next to and have him hold me and tell me everything is going to be fine, and the long talkes we had in our bed, Just when will the hurt go away. I know we are all feeling about the same, But it's good we have each other to talk to, Thank You HUGS Linda

Doreen Johnson said:

It is incredible to rwead the postings here and find I am not alone in what I am feeling. I lost my husband after 23 years together; he was 14 years older than I but I though we would have more time together. At 44 I found myself widowed and felt so isolated. Family and friends can try to understand but if you haven't experienced the loss of you soulmate, they just can't quite understand. Now at 49 and almost 5 years alone, I find myself smiling more when thinking of my husband and our wonderful time together. Still have plenty of rough days but happy memories help. I also love the quote, :"Do not cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Hugs to you all.

Permalink Reply by Linda Robertson on October 3, 2010 at 5:54pm

Hello Brigitte, Thanks for your note, I think it helped some, because we can relate to each other, today has been a hard day for me, I have missed him so bad, But I thank God I found this site, so we can help each other, You take care and lots of hugs. Linda

Brigitte said:

Linda,

My husband died in July 2009 and I am in my second year of grieving. I have discovered that the second year is much more painful then the first. The first year I was too numb to realize or focus on anything, but now that I have been through the "firsts" I am discovering that I seem to have more time to actually "feel" the loss of my dear husband. We were married 26 years but together 32 years. We did everything together and yet we still maintained our own identities. He was more then a husband -- he was my best friend. I miss him every day and I cry a lot. I have been told that I am "sad" and I suppose that I am. A piece of me is missing and a certain spark is gone. But I am hoping that in time I find that spark again. I feel your pain. Being lonely is the most difficult. Seeing other couples makes my heart ache for the touch of his hand in mine or one more hug. We are all on this path together and can relate. I take it one day at a time. If I go one day without crying that is a day to celebrate. In time I am hoping to have a solid week of no tears! Best wishes to you all.

Peace,

Brigitte

Permalink Reply by Leia Wright on October 3, 2010 at 8:40pm

Brigitte,
I don't have any answers for you. My husband died August 23, 2009. It is almost 14 months. We were married 37 years. We had a very good marriage. We traveled a lot. Until the last couple of years when Don was too sick. I have two sons. One is 36 yrs., married and is in web security. They live on the other side of MIchigan. My younger son is 34 yr., married with two children and is a meat manager for Costco. They live in St, Louis. About 7 hours away! So I don't have anyone here except for a niece and a sister that I am not that close to. Although they are sympathetic they do not truly understand. I also feel so lonely at times it is almost suffocating. I just know we are all here for the same reason and will gladly listen.
Leia Wright

Permalink Reply by Linda Robertson on October 3, 2010 at 8:53pm

Hello Lisa, Thanks for getting back with me, your so kind, you know I am just not sure the lonelyness will every go away, My KIDS Say mom find someone new, but that is not easy, men don't want weman that believes in God and trys to put him first in your life,allmost of them want is a bed partner, and that is not what all of life is about. Thanks for listing, Linda Hugs
Leia Wright said:

Brigitte,
I don't have any answers for you. My husband died August 23, 2009. It is almost 14 months. We were married 37 years. We had a very good marriage. We traveled a lot. Until the last couple of years when Don was too sick. I have two sons. One is 36 yrs., married and is in web security. They live on the other side of MIchigan. My younger son is 34 yr., married with two children and is a meat manager for Costco. They live in St, Louis. About 7 hours away! So I don't have anyone here except for a niece and a sister that I am not that close to. Although they are sympathetic they do not truly understand. I also feel so lonely at times it is almost suffocating. I just know we are all here for the same reason and will gladly listen.
Leia Wright

Permalink Reply by Linda Robertson on October 3, 2010 at 8:53pm

Hello Lisa, Thanks for getting back with me, your so kind, you know I am just not sure the lonelyness will every go away, My KIDS Say mom find someone new, but that is not easy, men don't want weman that believes in God and trys to put him first in your life,allmost of them want is a bed partner, and that is not what all of life is about. Thanks for listing, Linda Hugs
Leia Wright said:

Brigitte,
I don't have any answers for you. My husband died August 23, 2009. It is almost 14 months. We were married 37 years. We had a very good marriage. We traveled a lot. Until the last couple of years when Don was too sick. I have two sons. One is 36 yrs., married and is in web security. They live on the other side of MIchigan. My younger son is 34 yr., married with two children and is a meat manager for Costco. They live in St, Louis. About 7 hours away! So I don't have anyone here except for a niece and a sister that I am not that close to. Although they are sympathetic they do not truly understand. I also feel so lonely at times it is almost suffocating. I just know we are all here for the same reason and will gladly listen.
Leia Wright

Permalink Reply by Brigitte on October 6, 2010 at 7:26pm

Unless someone has lost the love of their life they DON'T get it -- and that is fact. We are inundated with all of the "I'm sorry" -- "Call if you anything" -- "He is in a better place" (now this one really irks me!), and the list goes on. I just miss having him hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be okay, I LOVE YOU. He promised we would always be together and now we aren't. How did that happen? Who do you blame? It wasn't planned by me or Douglas. And what lesson is there to be learned from his death? I hate this and I have times when I feel as though it would be a blessing NOT to wake up in the morning. Then I would be with the love of my life again. Is that bizarre? I am tired of being sad, tired of being alone, tired of being tired. It is a never ending roller coaster ride. I want off of this ride! I appreciate all of you on this site. Without you I don't where I would be today. I appreciate each and every one of you and wish ALL of us happiness.

Hugs,

Brigitte






Leia Wright said:

Brigitte,
I don't have any answers for you. My husband died August 23, 2009. It is almost 14 months. We were married 37 years. We had a very good marriage. We traveled a lot. Until the last couple of years when Don was too sick. I have two sons. One is 36 yrs., married and is in web security. They live on the other side of MIchigan. My younger son is 34 yr., married with two children and is a meat manager for Costco. They live in St, Louis. About 7 hours away! So I don't have anyone here except for a niece and a sister that I am not that close to. Although they are sympathetic they do not truly understand. I also feel so lonely at times it is almost suffocating. I just know we are all here for the same reason and will gladly listen.
Leia Wright

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