Doug I pray heaven is peaceful and that you are watching over me .

I cried when you passed away. I cry today still. Although I love you dearly, I couldn't make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke my heart to prove to me he only takes the best.
Doug today the 29th is one year since you squeezed my hand, turned your head, halfway opened your eyes and let out a deep sigh and your spirit left. I miss you all the time and never stopped loving you. The pain is so deep rooted and grows more memories of love for you every moment.
HUGS to all who were blessed to know and love Doug.
Feeling tearfully alone without my soulmate,
Ellen

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Permalink Reply by Jo Bartoszek on September 29, 2011 at 7:49am

Hugs to you today Ellen.

Permalink Reply by Jo Bartoszek on September 29, 2011 at 7:49am

Hugs to you today Ellen.

Permalink Reply by Virginia on September 29, 2011 at 8:22am

Hugs Ellen, today the 29th is 29 months since mike has passed.We will forever miss them.

Permalink Reply by Tereca Megee on September 29, 2011 at 1:51pm

BIG HUGS to you, always

Permalink Reply by Linda O'Connor on September 29, 2011 at 3:08pm

Prayers & Hugs to you Ellen. It is truly painful to be alone, but the memories are a blessing. One month from today, it will be 3 yrs since my Kevin left. Still miss him dearly. The pain never goes away, it just gets easier to bear - with time.

Permalink Reply by Marlena on September 29, 2011 at 9:36pm

Ellen,

My thoughts are with you today. These mile markers are so hard to get through. All the firsts are over, but that doesn't make this journey any easier.

With all that you have been through, you are an amazingly strong woman. I know you may not feel like it, but I wanted to let you know how much your positive attitude, strength, and perseverance have helped me keep my head up some days. You always have a powerful way of making me look at things with a new perspective and I thank you for that!

Hugs to you as you continue this walk...remember you are never alone, Doug will always be by your side.

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on September 30, 2011 at 1:49am

Marlena, Angels like you on this site with such support are a real gift. That is partly how I got through a great deal of all the rest of what was piled on my plate...just after Doug died so suddenly. Thanks so much. You are a treasure. I keep you in my prayers as well.

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on September 30, 2011 at 1:54am

Thank you ALL for being such supportive Angelic friends. I made it through the day and kind of crumbled talking out loud to Doug curling into a ball and crying asking for God to just send a sign he still remembers me and loves me. Guess I lost it. I will take a deep breath and reach out to help another in hopes it too will help me. HUGS and much love to all from your loved ones. I believe the stars are the windows in heavens are loved ones are watching over us through and winking at us all the time. ;)

Permalink Reply by Laura McGuire on October 1, 2011 at 12:27am

Ellen Brant said:

Thank you ALL for being such supportive Angelic friends. I made it through the day and kind of crumbled talking out loud to Doug curling into a ball and crying asking for God to just send a sign he still remembers me and loves me. Guess I lost it. I will take a deep breath and reach out to help another in hopes it too will help me. HUGS and much love to all from your loved ones. I believe the stars are the windows in heavens are loved ones are watching over us through and winking at us all the time. ;)

Ellen, just reading here. I'm glad you got through this day. I'm halfway to that point. Oct. 1st. is 6 months since my Dave died. You mentioned a sign of God's love. Just wanted to share something. A couple weeks ago, on my birthday, my daughter & family drove me to Dave's gravesite. On the way we passsed hospitals Dave had been in and the one he died at. I started crying. Right about then it started raining. You know Texas has had little rain for some time now. I had the thought it was like God knew what I was feeling and was crying with me - the rain was like His tears. Shortly I got calmer and the crying let up. And the rain let up almost the same time. Maybe it sounds silly but it seemed like God was trying to comfort me somehow through that., to show me how much He cared about how I felt. I hope maybe this little thought can be an encouragement to you. Hugs!

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on October 1, 2011 at 1:51am

Laura, Thanks so much for your thoughtful note. Sharing your experience of a couple of weeks ago of what happened on your birthday was truly in my belief a sign of God's love touching you from the heavens and letting you know Dave was at peace and watching over you. It didn't sound silly to me, just comforting. You mentioned Texas, is that where you reside? I am in Texas. If so, what part of Tx. are you in? Hang in there and know you are not alone. We are all here together to help each other get through the toughest moments with the simplest way. Tears are cleansing and healing. Sadly they don't bring back our husbands. That would be a real miracle. HUGS to you . Ellen

Laura McGuire said:

Ellen Brant said:
Thank you ALL for being such supportive Angelic friends. I made it through the day and kind of crumbled talking out loud to Doug curling into a ball and crying asking for God to just send a sign he still remembers me and loves me. Guess I lost it. I will take a deep breath and reach out to help another in hopes it too will help me. HUGS and much love to all from your loved ones. I believe the stars are the windows in heavens are loved ones are watching over us through and winking at us all the time. ;)

Ellen, just reading here. I'm glad you got through this day. I'm halfway to that point. Oct. 1st. is 6 months since my Dave died. You mentioned a sign of God's love. Just wanted to share something. A couple weeks ago, on my birthday, my daughter & family drove me to Dave's gravesite. On the way we passsed hospitals Dave had been in and the one he died at. I started crying. Right about then it started raining. You know Texas has had little rain for some time now. I had the thought it was like God knew what I was feeling and was crying with me - the rain was like His tears. Shortly I got calmer and the crying let up. And the rain let up almost the same time. Maybe it sounds silly but it seemed like God was trying to comfort me somehow through that., to show me how much He cared about how I felt. I hope maybe this little thought can be an encouragement to you. Hugs!

Permalink Reply by Judy Kaan on October 8, 2011 at 9:33am

It is so hard on me - I just lost the love of my life - he was only 51 - an hour before he went - they told me that he would be in a rehab out of the hospital - and I was interviewing a particular one and then got that horrible phone call from the hospital. It has just been 12 days - we were married a little shy of 5 years - November 4 is our wedding anniversary. We have no children - we had so many plans for our future.

I cry so much and miss my baby so much. People say "he will always be in your heart" I need more than that. My heart actually really feels physical pain.

Permalink Reply by Barbara Wasilewski on October 8, 2011 at 12:10pm