Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Judy Kaan on October 8, 2011 at 2:08pm

Barbara.

This was a tribute done from his brother Philip - who was my rock through this whole ordeal for my Justin.

He was such a fighter - went through 2 comas and other things - and really was ready to put him

in a rehab facility 2 days later.

This is so not fair.

I miss him terribly........

 

Barbara ---- so sorry of your loss also....

 

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FzwlE7AK7huA...

Permalink Reply by Janet on October 8, 2011 at 2:42pm

Dear Ellen,

 

On the 16 th of this month, it will be 6 years
that my Ed went home to glory.

There are no words that take your pain away,
it's our faith that keeps us going, the knowing that
one day you will "meet at the cross roads".

The first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas,
anniversary etc are difficult. It is how our minds
work. All those times are important to us and with
each comes a memory - it was those memories that
helped, made me smile, made me cry - made me
understand that they will always be with me.

Each first is a milestone - each milestone is a test of our
strength and endurance.

There is no doubt at all Ellen that your Doug is
watching over you and will all the days of your life.
I suspect you and Doug were "Soul Mates " like
Ed and I were ...

I often think of all the wonderful magical moments we
spent together here on earth - and while we continue to
miss the love of our lives, I can't help but to wonder if
there was so much love and magic here on earth - what
will be the glorious wonders and
graces when one day, we are reunited?

Oh I very much believe in God and He has given
me peace and comfort here on this earth - so I don't
even question what is beyond what we are yet able to
see.

You sound strong Ellen and never think that your
tears are a sign of weakness for they are not. I continue
to live my life, do the things that my love would expect
and always, in this wonderful journey,
I continue walking towards that love for I believe that
love is stronger then death.

May God give you a measure of comfort Ellen
Going the distance is not easy, but surrendering is not
the answer, at least it was not for me. It is the spiritual
experience that keeps me grounded and I will pray that
you will find peace!

-Janet-

 

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on October 8, 2011 at 3:08pm

Judy, I hear your emptiness and feel the pain you are feeling. I am so sorry others are experiencing all that we are having to go through. The pain emotionally and spiritually is truly very challenging and extremely depressing. I know too first hand. I lose hope lots and then chat with Doug and know he is still here and cry my heart out. I am not sure if and when the days will be easier without my love beside me to grow and share life with. I just try to stay in the moment and connected with others that have and are going through these pains. Together I believe we can help each other cope through the moments that are hardest. Today is just another day. I am just learning to walk still from all that I had happen this year. I just wish Doug and all our spouses could reach out and help us take the next step whether it is to walk or just to learn to live life on life's terms with the emptiness we have. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs...Ellen

Judy Kaan said:

It is so hard on me - I just lost the love of my life - he was only 51 - an hour before he went - they told me that he would be in a rehab out of the hospital - and I was interviewing a particular one and then got that horrible phone call from the hospital.  It has just been 12 days - we were married a little shy of 5 years - November 4 is our wedding anniversary.  We have no children - we had so many plans for our future.

 

I cry so much and miss my baby so much.  People say "he will always be in your heart"   I need more than that.  My heart actually really feels physical pain.

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on October 8, 2011 at 3:20pm

Janet, Thank you so much for that truly heartfelt note. I cried through it all. You have a way with words and expressing yourself so well. I took in every word dearly and they were truly comforting. You are truly an Angelic Messenger from God. I can feel the love and peace you reap within along with the pain of the loss of Ed. You are an inspiration. People like you in ones life having been through and still dealing with death of their spouse is such a gift. Your uplifting words express hope to me in my moments of despair. You validate the tears are not a sign of weakness as I too believe they are not. I try to be strong but life has pushed me down this passed year a bit more than I feel I can tolerate. Loosing Doug was horrendous, then I was run over by an SUV and in the Hospital and Nursing home for 6 months. I held Doug and memories strong to get through that . I am learning to walk again and am now disabled with no family but Doug my soulmate. But I do believe with God all things are possible. Thanks for sharing and allowing me to share some more. Hugs and prayers always. Ellen

Janet said:

Dear Ellen,

 

On the 16 th of this month, it will be 6 years
that my Ed went home to glory.

There are no words that take your pain away,
it's our faith that keeps us going, the knowing that
one day you will "meet at the cross roads".

The first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas,
anniversary etc are difficult. It is how our minds
work. All those times are important to us and with
each comes a memory - it was those memories that
helped, made me smile, made me cry - made me
understand that they will always be with me.

Each first is a milestone - each milestone is a test of our
strength and endurance.

There is no doubt at all Ellen that your Doug is
watching over you and will all the days of your life.
I suspect you and Doug were "Soul Mates " like
Ed and I were ...

I often think of all the wonderful magical moments we
spent together here on earth - and while we continue to
miss the love of our lives, I can't help but to wonder if
there was so much love and magic here on earth - what
will be the glorious wonders and
graces when one day, we are reunited?

Oh I very much believe in God and He has given
me peace and comfort here on this earth - so I don't
even question what is beyond what we are yet able to
see.

You sound strong Ellen and never think that your
tears are a sign of weakness for they are not. I continue
to live my life, do the things that my love would expect
and always, in this wonderful journey,
I continue walking towards that love for I believe that
love is stronger then death.

May God give you a measure of comfort Ellen
Going the distance is not easy, but surrendering is not
the answer, at least it was not for me. It is the spiritual
experience that keeps me grounded and I will pray that
you will find peace!

-Janet-

 

Permalink Reply by Barbara Wasilewski on October 10, 2011 at 1:59am

Judy Kaan said:

Barbara.

This was a tribute done from his brother Philip - who was my rock through this whole ordeal for my Justin.

He was such a fighter - went through 2 comas and other things - and really was ready to put him

in a rehab facility 2 days later.

This is so not fair.

I miss him terribly........

 

Barbara ---- so sorry of your loss also....

 

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FzwlE7AK7huA...

 

That was beautiful. A beautiful couple. Thank you for sharing!

 

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