Thanks Brigitte, I'm glad I could give you the poem to keep with you. I guess I should send it to my "outlaws". I say that because they were always so wonderful to me and the day of the funeral they didn't speak a word to me and never has since. The day before the funeral they were wonderful, just changed overnight. I don't understand how they can change just like that and turn into such cold, uncaring people. They know how much Brad and I loved each other, they even commented on that so many times when Brad was here. It makes me feel like they were lying the whole 15 years, now the true colors come out. Angry? Yes the anger is out and I just feel like lashing out and letting them know my true feelings but I'm not that kind of person. I guess I'll just keep it inside like I do with all of my other feelings. Thanks everyone, you are my family now and you do understand!
I absolutely love the article you shared "When Our Spouse Dies." Like I stated in an earlier post, I shared it with my Widow Support Group at my workplace and it has/is helping other women like us come to terms with the tragedy they have just experienced. I also sent this to my inlaws! Actually, I refer to them as "outlaws" because they have been less then pleasant to deal with since Douglas died. One sister-in-law called me immediately and was crying. She had "no idea" of what I was actually feeling or going through. Her one comment that sticks in my mind is this: "You and Douglas had such a spiritual connection that I envy because, although I am married, I never have experienced the kind of love with my spouse that you and my brother shared." That statement I will carry with me forever. Someone actually understands the love Douglas and I shared (and still do, on a different level now). Whenever I get confused about the emotions I am experiencing I read this article. It reassures me that I am not crazy and what I am going through is normal for now. I am traveling a path of "new" normal to find some kind of normal -- is that weird or what??? So, I thank you again for sharing this. It is taped to my bathroom mirror, my computer monitor at work, and I carry it in my wallet. I never know when I am going to need that "gentle" reminder that all is "normal" and the urge to bonk the person next to me is most inappropriate! Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. We all deserve that and our loved ones would want us to have that as well.