first Father's Day without Daddy

Hello everyone. June is quickly approaching and along with that comes the dreaded Father's Day. I lost my husband 2 months ago, last Saturday, and have 2 young kids (8&6). Obviously we are all struggling and searching for some sort of hand grip up the immense mountain we are forced to climb. I am wondering what suggestions you might have (for those of you that have children to help through your loss) to "celebrate" our first Father's day without Daddy. I cannot even imagine how hard this day is going to be on us all...Mother's Day was bad enough, as this was always such a special day for us. My husband always went all out, trying to make it a perfect day. To not have him there for that was excruciating. My children's "idea" on how to make that better--they decided we needed to have another baby (obviously they don't know about the birds and the bees). They thought it would make Mother's Day happier for me....My husband was such a wonderful father.....Knew just how to read the stories just right, gave the best hugs, alays kept a smile on their faces...To not have that, I just don't know how I am going to make it through that day, let alone helping the kids. Any suggestions you can offer, I would appreciate....

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Permalink Reply by janis on May 23, 2011 at 6:01pm

Not sure of what to say that would make this day any easier for you and your children....maybe, if you are feeling up to it, you might spend some of the time helping them remember some of the happiest times you all shared together. Keeping them busy doing some of their most favorite things maybe, might help. Beginning to build new memories. Those are very tender ages...I am so sorry, Tess. Wish I could give you better suggestions. Hugs to you and your little ones...

Permalink Reply by Kathy King Kates on May 23, 2011 at 7:18pm

Is your husband buried near by where you can visit him? The kids can make special cards and gifts for him to take to his grave. Many have done balloons and things and stood around and talked to "daddy" sharing things that they are doing in school and things and then release the balloons to heaven. Mine are grown so didn't have this, we went out to eat as daddy always enjoyed to his favorite restaurant. I have heard others talk about these celebrations of life. Try to remember the good stuff. These very children are the best memories of all

Permalink Reply by Linda G. on May 24, 2011 at 6:35am

Tess, my sons are grown (ages 30 and 40) but they hurt just as much as young children. The difference is they understand where as your children are too young to really understand. I have 3 grandsons (ages 15, 9, and 2) who miss their POP and do not fully understand. My 2 year old grandson for the last 2 weeks keeps asking me "where is POP?". I tell him he is in heaven with Jesus.

I have been thinking about Neal's birthday (June 12th) and Fathers Day, about what to do. I am going to talk with my sons about getting balloons, writing on them and going to the cemetary and letting them go. Maybe your children could do that. You don't even have to go to the cemetary to let balloons go.

Hugs to you and your children as I know this will be hard for all of us.

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