I know in my heart that you're here, but why can't I feel you near me?
I search for the signs everywhere but I can't seem to see them clearly.
There's been so many things I've said to you and I need to know that you hear me.
Are you all right? Do you like it there? Do you know that I've always, always loved you?
I want to see you in my dreams, and feel you all around me. 
I want to hear your voice strong and clear reverberating through me.
Can you tell me are you all right? Do you like it there?
Do you know that I've always, always loved you?
When would my pain get better and I would be able to get by.
I don't want to keep on counting days, weeks and  months.
I don't like this pain I want to get better and be able to live too.

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Replies to This Discussion

DEAR HURTING, YOU HAVE A REMARKABLE WAY WITH WORDS. I WISH I COULD EXPRESS MYSELF AS WELL AS YOU. YOU HAVE SAID IT PERFECTLY FOR THE WAY THAT I AM FEELING. THANK YOU. I AM SORRY THAT YOU ARE FEELING THIS WAY TOO. MAY GOD BLESS YOU.
Dear Hurting,
So very true - and written beautifully! I, like Cindy, wish I could express myself as well as you. I feel exactly the same way!! It has been more than 15 months now (still counting!!) and I still miss him as much as ever. I heard the song today "One More Day" . . and I thought - just to have one more day, one more hug, one more kiss, one more I love you, one more everything is going to be okay!!! Then I realized, as the song says, it would only make me want another "one more". Thank you for sharing; I am sorry we are all having to feel this way!! May God bless and keep us all. Take care!
You are right Deb, its going on 14 months for me, I do have more positive days because of everything Brad taught me and the gifts of strength and compassion for others. I do it for him. I would also love "One more Day" with him, but as the song says, we would want one more....This life is no fun, there's not much to look forward to but we all have to survive until we are with our loved ones again!



Deb said:
Dear Hurting,
So very true - and written beautifully! I, like Cindy, wish I could express myself as well as you. I feel exactly the same way!! It has been more than 15 months now (still counting!!) and I still miss him as much as ever. I heard the song today "One More Day" . . and I thought - just to have one more day, one more hug, one more kiss, one more I love you, one more everything is going to be okay!!! Then I realized, as the song says, it would only make me want another "one more". Thank you for sharing; I am sorry we are all having to feel this way!! May God bless and keep us all. Take care!
You are right Deb, its going on 14 months for me, I do have more positive days because of everything Brad taught me and the gifts of strength and compassion for others. I do it for him. I would also love "One more Day" with him, but as the song says, we would want one more....This life is no fun, there's not much to look forward to but we all have to survive until we are with our loved ones again!



Deb said:
Dear Hurting,
So very true - and written beautifully! I, like Cindy, wish I could express myself as well as you. I feel exactly the same way!! It has been more than 15 months now (still counting!!) and I still miss him as much as ever. I heard the song today "One More Day" . . and I thought - just to have one more day, one more hug, one more kiss, one more I love you, one more everything is going to be okay!!! Then I realized, as the song says, it would only make me want another "one more". Thank you for sharing; I am sorry we are all having to feel this way!! May God bless and keep us all. Take care!
Thank you for writing what I am feeling. Wish I had something positive to add to make us all feel better.
Hurting, I agree with Cindy. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
sixteen weeks under my belt. Having a very bad day, despite -maybe because of -setting up some fund raising in Liza's name to support ovarian cancer research. I can't believe a year ago we thought we had the world by the tail and our whole future before us . I cannot accept losing her.I had to accept it as she was dying -had to be there for her and protect her however I could. But now it-all the details-come rushing back to me and I writhe to remember and relive them. Oh my god, I miss her so much.
It has only been 6 weeks for me since my world ended but this is exactly how I feel. I don't want to be the person I am right now. We loved life, and together we shared all of it's wonders, I want to be that person again, I want him to tell me I will be OK and that he's OK, he died so quickly without any warning that I so despartely need to know he is not afraid that he is happy. That he's not mad that i couldn't stop this from happening to him.

Kay, they are all ok and pain free we have to believe that and I know he's not mad at you it was not up to you it was his time, if it was up to us none of us would be here, he's with you and in his time he will let you know but untill then you have to believe, hugs
Kay Arcuni said:
It has only been 6 weeks for me since my world ended but this is exactly how I feel. I don't want to be the person I am right now. We loved life, and together we shared all of it's wonders, I want to be that person again, I want him to tell me I will be OK and that he's OK, he died so quickly without any warning that I so despartely need to know he is not afraid that he is happy. That he's not mad that i couldn't stop this from happening to him.
JUST WANTED TO SAY IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU POSTING AGAIN. I WAS THINKING OF YOU THE OTHER DAY. JUST WONDERED WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO YOU.I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL YOU ARE SETTING UP A FUND RAISER IN LIZAS NAME. SHE WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU. I CAN RELATE TO WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT A YEAR A GO WE HAD THE WORLD BY THE TAIL AND OUR WHOLE FUTURE BEFORE US.MY HUSBAND AND I KNEW NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT HIS CANCER UNTIL NOVEMBER AND THEN OUR WORLD WAS SHATTERED.I MISS HIM TERRIBLE.TAKE CARE.

pippa said:
sixteen weeks under my belt. Having a very bad day, despite -maybe because of -setting up some fund raising in Liza's name to support ovarian cancer research. I can't believe a year ago we thought we had the world by the tail and our whole future before us . I cannot accept losing her.I had to accept it as she was dying -had to be there for her and protect her however I could. But now it-all the details-come rushing back to me and I writhe to remember and relive them. Oh my god, I miss her so much.

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