Thought I would share this. Some of it I agree with and some seems patronizing. 

http://www.oktodie.com/blog/who-are-you-the-self-after-loss-by-rea-...

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Chicago Beard -- I liked the article very much.  Thanks!  By the way -- can I ask "why the name Chicago Beard?".  I ask because I am a native Chicagoan -- that's all.

Barbara

Hi Barbara

I too am a native Chicagoan. My Rose and I moved to the west coast in the mid-eighties and when we started doing email and other internet stuff it was a handle she had me take. My nickname with my family in Chicago was the Beard as I was the first member of the family with facial hair. I am glad you enjoyed the article. I thought our Bereaved Spouse family would find it interesting.

Thanks, Chicago Beard.  I was just too curious about the name.  I lived in Southern California in the 70s -- moved back to Chicago in the 80s, and moved to MO in 2000.  I still have two daughters who live in the Windy City and am planning a trip "home", soon.  I miss the city and all my friends, there.

The article was one of the best I have read and pretty much confirms what I believe -- I don't think we recover -- we change -- and I am trying hard to make sure that I change in ways that help me grow.  Thanks again.

Barb

I am glad you found it helpful. A lot of it resonated with me as well. Some of it felt too simplistic but I still feel it is a valuable article.

CB- thanks for the link. It is a way to conceptualize the goal of our spirit and soul to redefine ourselves when death ends a life but not a relationship. I agree with what we need to become but the trick is how not to be anihalated. As for me and I sense others it is actualizing that a relationship does not die and use the connection positively. B

Well said Bar S

Chicago Beard ...  That was a great article and it was well said.  I especially could relate to the strength of not just individuals, but groups of individuals such as the Holocaust and let us not forget the many years of blacks in slavery that had such great faith in their Maker as well and becoming extremely strong within family throughout the hard times. 

However, again, the seniors are left out and that's why I'm writing the book.  For the young even though their grief is stronger they have a whole future to look forward to, but, what does a senior do when their spouse passes away and all future plans with them have disappeared.  All that is recommended is volunteering, but that doesn't fill the hole of loneliness once home.  One can't volunteer 24/7.  I am trying to get through this as a senior and see what options there are ...  younger options instead of aiming at how old one is.  That there still can be good friendships or even love once again between the opposite sex and being a senior doesn't mean your future is over.  There are groups that are leading the way to changing societies way of how they look at seniors.  It's a good thing!

Hugs

Marsha

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