It's been only 2 months (today) for me, so I can't speak from firsthand experience. It's all still pretty raw for me. But a cousin of my husband's, who lost his wife not quite 2 years ago, says it's like a physical wound. It hurts less as time goes on, but the scar is always there. Another family friend who's been through this loss twice says something similar, that the pain doesn't go away, but it does get "softer." I sure hope so. I am so sorry for your loss and your continuing pain, Jeanette. I'm sending you hugs.