how do i move on

well it's been 82 days since i cancer took away the love of my life .after 25 wonderful years is it even possible to move forward it still feels like my life should just stop until the nightmare ends.people keep telling me it will ge better i can't see how.

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Permalink Reply by Barbara Roth on November 2, 2010 at 7:28pm

Diana, I wish I knew. It's been 11 days since cancer took my husband of 38yrs.( our anniv is the 8th). I keep looking on these sites to see if there is something I can do to make it not so awful. I guess we just need to talk about it, and realize that we are not alone. I talked to my neighbor today, she lost her husband 8 yrs ago. She told me it will get better, but she still has problems. Nights are the hardest for me. I could never fall asleep until he came to bed. Whenever he was in the hospital, I always stayed with him cause neither one of us could sleep without the other.

Permalink Reply by Yvonne on November 2, 2010 at 7:36pm

Hi Diana
I am so sorry for your loss. Your loss is so fresh and raw at this time. This time here and now is for you, no one else. Focus on you and your needs, this is all about YOU now. My best advice to you is to not do anything life changing for the first year unless absolutely necessary. I lost my husband Larry Aug 9 2009. It will soon be 15 months for me and in some ways it seems like yesterday and others it feels like years ago. I think the loneliness is the worst, missing their touch and hugs. I can tell you that it does get better some days and then others you slide back and have some bad days again. Take care of yourself and if you can find a grief support group to attend. There are lots of excellent caring people on this site and they have helped me enormously. Here you can vent and say things that you can't say to your family etc. They would all think we dropped off the deep end. Here you will not be judged, say what you feel...it helps just to get it out and shed some tears. Welcome to our group...the one none of us ever wanted to join, but here we are. Hugs to you Diane.
Take care Yvonne

Permalink Reply by Kathy King Kates on November 2, 2010 at 9:13pm

So so sorry you had to join our group. We all wish it hadn't been necessary but know that we are here for you for any questions or just to vent. Do take care of yourself. It is still so fresh and you probably still have major decisions to handle. Be careful and do what you must for yourself. we are here with lots of hugs

Permalink Reply by DIANA on November 2, 2010 at 9:14pm

i know that i must find a way to deal and move to the next chapter of life i know that our kids and grandkids still need me just never thought i'd have to move one without robin as far as shed tears seems they never stop frind and family say it gets better maybe in time with the grace of god thank you

Permalink Reply by CINDY POWELL on November 2, 2010 at 9:16pm

diana, i am so sorry for your loss. my husband also passed away from cancer. he was diagnoised in nov. 19th 2009 and passed away feb 26th 2010. it was so quick but i have to thank god he didnt really suffer. it does hurt so bad and we have no choice but to accept it. my husband was my best friend and always their for me to vent too, now i really have no one. i still have alot of issues to deal with all by myself, because life does go on, even though i wish it didnt.just know that you arent alone. this is a good site to come to when you really need someone to let it all out. we are all here for each other and we all know what the other is going through.my thoughts are with you at this time.

Permalink Reply by DIANA on November 2, 2010 at 9:17pm

Barbara Roth said:

Diana, I wish I knew. It's been 11 days since cancer took my husband of 38yrs.( our anniv is the 8th). I keep looking on these sites to see if there is something I can do to make it not so awful. I guess we just need to talk about it, and realize that we are not alone. I talked to my neighbor today, she lost her husband 8 yrs ago. She told me it will get better, but she still has problems. Nights are the hardest for me. I could never fall asleep until he came to bed. Whenever he was in the hospital, I always stayed with him cause neither one of us could sleep without the other.

Permalink Reply by DIANA on November 2, 2010 at 9:18pm

i know how that feels never spent a single night apart my prayers are with you

Permalink Reply by DIANA on November 2, 2010 at 9:33pm

CINDY POWELL said:

diana, i am so sorry for your loss. my husband also passed away from cancer. he was diagnoised in nov. 19th 2009 and passed away feb 26th 2010. it was so quick but i have to thank god he didnt really suffer. it does hurt so bad and we have no choice but to accept it. my husband was my best friend and always their for me to vent too, now i really have no one. i still have alot of issues to deal with all by myself, because life does go on, even though i wish it didnt.just know that you arent alone. this is a good site to come to when you really need someone to let it all out. we are all here for each other and we all know what the other is going through.my thoughts are with you at this time.

Permalink Reply by Paulette on November 7, 2010 at 7:04am

everyone grieves differently no one can tell you it will get better, only you know when that will happen.

Permalink Reply by Renee Semo on November 27, 2010 at 8:34pm

Diana, its been 5 months since my Frank died from cancer. He was diagnosed June 25, 2009 and died June 18, 2010. He was determined that he was going to beat it and wasnt going to leave me and I still think Im in denial. I cry myself to sleep at night because that was our time. I ache for his hugs...we used to share our day and watch TV together. Now I lay on his pillow and wish he would come home. I spent most of thanksgiving day crying. Its hard for my kids to see me cry and I hate to do that to them but I cant stop. I try to keep the faith but when I see my 12 year old cry for her daddy it makes me so mad. Its not fair! No matter what god needed him for I need him more. My sister in law was taken back that I didnt want to do a thanksgiving prayer. I said to her " what do I have to be thankful for" she looked at me like I had two heads. People dont get it!!! I know what you feel I wish life would stop too but I have to get up each day and take care of my kids. Im a robot...I do what I have to do but I would like to curl up and not move. Hugs Renee

Permalink Reply by Jerry on November 27, 2010 at 10:20pm

Thanksgiving was busy, we tried to keep the spirit of my wife alive,since she was always the one to make dinners for that holiday. Didn"t have much time to think during the day,which was good. I try not to be to sad around my family,especialy the grandchildren. I tis hard at time because when they do or say something new or funnyI think about what my wife is missing out on. I do feel that some days I am on auto pilot and just going through the motions to get what has to be done over with. I would try not to think that life should be over for you, I am sure your kids need you, and as they grow they will be there for you. Try getting through the holiday season for them.Stay strong,and pray.Good luck,Jerry Diana, its been 5 months since my Frank died from cancer. He was diagnosed June 25, 2009 and died June 18, 2010. He was determined that he was going to beat it and wasnt going to leave me and I still think Im in denial. I cry myself to sleep at night because that was our time. I ache for his hugs...we used to share our day and watch TV together. Now I lay on his pillow and wish he would come home. I spent most of thanksgiving day crying. Its hard for my kids to see me cry and I hate to do that to them but I cant stop. I try to keep the faith but when I see my 12 year old cry for her daddy it makes me so mad. Its not fair! No matter what god needed him for I need him more. My sister in law was taken back that I didnt want to do a thanksgiving prayer. I said to her " what do I have to be thankful for" she looked at me like I had two heads. People dont get it!!! I know what you feel I wish life would stop too but I have to get up each day and take care of my kids. Im a robot...I do what I have to do but I would like to curl up and not move. Hugs Renee

Permalink Reply by margie sexton on November 28, 2010 at 4:01am

I know how you feel my husband had lung cancer and died August 8th, he was my whole life. He was also a diabectic had COPD and a real bad heart. Was on oxygen 24/7 and after he died my life stopped. Everything I did revolved around him, drs., chemo,cooking,fixing his meds,etc. I am lost and I miss him so much I think how can I make it until next year to find out if things get better as people say. Thanksgiving was a very sad day for me as I know it was for others on here, my son could not even have dinner at his house as we usually did we went to his fiancee's dads house, it was ok but could not wait to get home just wanted to be home. It was his birthday Nov 8 and he was a hunter and deer season opened on the 15th, he was here for all this last year and now he is gone. I think I am going crazy all I do is cry where do all the tears come from. The funeral home where he was has a grief support group starting on Jan 12 and I am going there I need someone to talk to that really understands. I have a lot of people who love me but they are not all alone at night that is the worst time we used to watch tv and talk, we did alot of that. The radio was never on when we traveled because we just talked and laughed. He was so funny. It is too soon for me to tell people it will get easier because right now I can see no way it will.