how do i move on

well it's been 82 days since i cancer took away the love of my life .after 25 wonderful years is it even possible to move forward it still feels like my life should just stop until the nightmare ends.people keep telling me it will ge better i can't see how.

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Permalink Reply by Jerry on November 28, 2010 at 7:44am

It has been a little over ten months since my wife passed away. Last year at this time was when she was at the last stages of her life,so the holidays are hurting. I sometimes think about what was going on exaclty a year ago and it brings me down. I have found it best to try and focus on the happier times in our life togheter. Looking at old photos from the better years seems to help. Dont let the bad memories outshine the good ones. Stay stong,and believe that your spouse is looking down at you when you feel alone. It helps to talk to them aloud when you are alone, I know it helps me.

I know how you feel my husband had lung cancer and died August 8th, he was my whole life. He was also a diabectic had COPD and a real bad heart. Was on oxygen 24/7 and after he died my life stopped. Everything I did revolved around him, drs., chemo,cooking,fixing his meds,etc. I am lost and I miss him so much I think how can I make it until next year to find out if things get better as people say. Thanksgiving was a very sad day for me as I know it was for others on here, my son could not even have dinner at his house as we usually did we went to his fiancee's dads house, it was ok but could not wait to get home just wanted to be home. It was his birthday Nov 8 and he was a hunter and deer season opened on the 15th, he was here for all this last year and now he is gone. I think I am going crazy all I do is cry where do all the tears come from. The funeral home where he was has a grief support group starting on Jan 12 and I am going there I need someone to talk to that really understands. I have a lot of people who love me but they are not all alone at night that is the worst time we used to watch tv and talk, we did alot of that. The radio was never on when we traveled because we just talked and laughed. He was so funny. It is too soon for me to tell people it will get easier because right now I can see no way it will.

Permalink Reply by Tereca Megee on November 28, 2010 at 9:40am

So sorry for you loss. I know the feeling about moving on....seems impossible. I am still running on auto-pilot. Lost the love of my life 49 days ago. Diagnosed with untreatable rare cancer Aug. 11, died in my arms October 17. Some days not so bad, nights bad, mornings worse. Started mild antidepressent when he was diagnosed, which seems to help some. Thanksgiving was tough, and am sure Christmas will be worse. Our 36th anniversary will be in January. I just want to stay in bed and cry so often it is pathetic. Got laid off work last week. Don't know what to do with my days.....I miss him so much.

Permalink Reply by Kyle Snow on November 29, 2010 at 6:53am

Dear Diana:

I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your dear beloved one. The loss of a love one can cause great pain and sorrow. Sometimes it takes a while for people to move on after someone who was close to them dies. We can find comfort from the Bible's promise of a resurrection "which all those in the memorial tombs will come out" (John 5:28, 29). What a wonderful time it will be when we will see and live with our dear loves again on peaceful conditions on the earth (Psalm 37:11). May these promises from the Bible comfort you during your time of loss. Kyle

Permalink Reply by Christy on November 29, 2010 at 12:25pm

I'm with you. Life has become a nightmare. It was a wonderful dream for years but I have no desire to live without Larry. Each day is supposed to be better but it is not, it's just another day missing the man I love, another day dealing with all the crap life keeps handing me. I am trying to write down the highs & lows each day in an effort to see that I can overcome all the bull & recognize the good things. I am 46 yrs. old. I feel like I can't just quit trying to do something positive with the life I have left. It is almost impossible right now, but I have managed to do a few good things like give blood, donate to less fortunate, ... I am sorry for your loss. I hope we wake up to brighter days sometime soon....