Hi my name is Joanne and I am here because I lost my fiance 6 1/2 weeks ago. He was only 44 years old. He died at work right after I talked to him. This has been so hard because we had so many plans and now we will never be able to do them. We had only been together for about 4 1/2 years but it seems like he has been in my life so much longer. I couldn't believe when his son called me and said he had some really bad new! I was almost home when I got the call. They told us he was found in the bathroom and there was nothing they can do. I am having such a hard time because I talked to him at 12:33 and they didn't find him until 1:35!! I can't believe he laid there for an hour before they found him I just keep thinking - If they found him sooner maybe he would have had a chance to live!  How do you learn to move on? I miss him soo much! I look at his pictures all day I need to see him. I watch the videos just to hear his voice. He proposed on Christmas Eve 2009. I was upset because all my kids were there and he let them video tape it. I don't like to be center of attention so I didn't want it to be taped! Now I am so glad I have that to watch!

 

I go to work and go thru my day but it has no meaning anymore. I have nothing to look forward to and everyday seems just like yesterday. We were so happy together! I was looking forward to being his wife which I told him in the beginning of  our relationship that I didn't think I would ever get married again. Well he changed my mind!!  I was so completly in love with him.

 

Now I have to learn to move forward without him. I have 4 kids myself. My youngest is only 7 years old. She won't go in my bedroom by herself anymore because I have pictures of Bob in there. She said it upsets her and she doesn't like to go in there by herself. I need to see his pictures but do I take them down for my daughter? She was pretty close to Bob because she didn't see her dad very much. It is so hard because I try not to get upset in front on my kids. They tell me it will get better and they are here for me but it just doesn't seem like it is getting better. I miss him so much! Many nights I cry myself to sleep, I find I am able to talk to Bob's kids & his family better than my own kids. That makes me feel guilty but I can get upset and cry with his family without them making me feel I should just stop being upset. I know I need to go on because of my kids. But some days are so hard!

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Replies to This Discussion

I"m very sorry for your loss, just know there are many of us here for you. It's been a year and 5 months and I can tell you, you will never get over the one you love, but believe he's with you when you need him.
I talk to my husband everyday, sometimes in my thoughts and sometime outloud, because I know someday I'll be in his arms again. Just take your time and don't worry what everyone else says.
Have a good day tomorrow and GOD bless.

Nova T.
Thank you. and I also talk to Bob everyday. Mostly when I am in bed and looking at his picture and even when I turn the lights out I ask him to come lay with me and hold me. It is so hard not having him here with me. We planned to grow old together. One day I was at ShopRite in the parking lot and I saw an elderly couple loading groceries into their car and I started crying because Bob should've been here with me and that would have been us when we were older. He liked to go food shopping with me. Sometimes it is the little things like that get to me.
Joanne,I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost the love of my life and soul mate 16 months ago and some days are ok but there are so many more that are heart renching and the depression will make diong the basic things seem impossable we were together 32 yrs. married 16, it would have been 17 yrs. on 5-15, and he passed 4-29-09 and just when you think your moving on it starts all over again. you are so new to this loss and all i can tell you to take baby steps i'm also glad you have his family to help you grieve, i went to visit his family in vegas last oct. we went every year for 32 yrs. and not one of them even brought up his name or said they were sorry for my loss except his mom, she came back for his service and burieal, and only one sister sent me flowers. so be thankfull you have them, stay here on this site there are many good people here, god bless and hugs to you we give lots of hugs here lol
I am very sorry about your loss and what you are now going through. Boy do I know how you feel. My husband passed away on June 1 2010 and he was only 40. We had our whole lives ahead of us. I'm not sure how we are suppose to get through life without our loves ones. I know it is going to be hard. The only advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time. I honestly do not think the pain will ever go away but I do think in time we learn to cope with it better. I still cry everyday, but the last 3 days have been better for me. In the beginning I stayed home alot. Didn't take any calls and didn't go anywhere. The past 3 days I have been getting out more visiting family and it does seem to help some. I hope you can find some kind of comfort in knowing everyone on this site knows how you feel and what you are going through. You are not alone and we are here for you. (hugs)
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband on 7-12-10 at the age of 39. It is very hard. Luckily I have lots of support. I recently started going to a bereavement group and it has helped so much. Just hearing their feelings and watching them cry is very comforting because they understand exactly what I'm going through. I pray constantly to God and my husband to give me the strength & hope I need everyday. I still can't look at my husbands pictures. I talk to him everyday. I can feel his presence everywhere. Take baby steps, that's how I do it. Remember you are not alone.
Joanne,

It has only been 6 1/2 weeks. Stop beating yourself up and allow yourself to grieve. It is your path now and one that all of us here have been down and are at different stages. You will get through this, but realize that it will take time. It is a rough road that you are traveling now but know that we on this site are either behind you, in front of you or beside you. We are here for support, to love you, and to say "it will be okay" -- when you say it is! Hang in there, and let us know how you are doing -- good, bad, or indifferent. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

In peace,

Brigitte
Hi Thanks for all your support. I am glad I came to this site. Just reading what others write makes me feel not so alone. Today was a down day. It was cloudy and raining and I felt so alone. I just miss my honey so much! I went to my mom's yesterday and I saw my two sisters also. We had a good day. When I am around my family I can smile and even laugh sometimes but then it hits me when I come home! I was very lonely today and there is so much cleaning I need to do but I did nothing. I can't even go visit his grave because his parents took him home to West Virginia with them. It does help for me to talk to him but I still ask why him? I know I will never get any answers but I get angry sometimes. We weren't together nearly as long as some of you others had but I loved him with all my heart. He was my soul mate and never expected to be going thru this , not at my age of 47! My kids don't understand and I am glad I came here because I would post stuff on Facebook and they would get upset. But the love you have for your kids is different than you have for your significant other! I love my kids very much but it is just not the same without my honey here with me. I will keep coming back here to read what you all write and see how others are coping.
Take care everyone and try and have a good nights sleep.
Joanne
Welcome Joanne, you've come to the right place, everyone is so supportive and we are all together in this world of grief. I'm so sorry for your loss, It's been 1 year and 10 days since my Brad left to go to heaven. I still miss him so much and that will never go away. We were soulmates and best friends, we were together for 15 years and our anniversary was June 19th, would have been 11 years. We were together 24/7, never apart so now it is so lonely not having him by my side. The only way I am getting through the days and nights is knowing (finally) that the best thing I can give him after all the happiness he gave me is to really try and be positive and make him proud of me..the other thing that is getting me through the tough times are all of the caring and supportive friends I have made here. Stick with us and we will survive the tears and heartaches together. Are you on Facebook, alot of us are and we share alo on there too. Take care, hang in there and I hope to hear from you. God Bless you, you took the big step!
Barb

Joanne M. Imperatore said:
Hi Thanks for all your support. I am glad I came to this site. Just reading what others write makes me feel not so alone. Today was a down day. It was cloudy and raining and I felt so alone. I just miss my honey so much! I went to my mom's yesterday and I saw my two sisters also. We had a good day. When I am around my family I can smile and even laugh sometimes but then it hits me when I come home! I was very lonely today and there is so much cleaning I need to do but I did nothing. I can't even go visit his grave because his parents took him home to West Virginia with them. It does help for me to talk to him but I still ask why him? I know I will never get any answers but I get angry sometimes. We weren't together nearly as long as some of you others had but I loved him with all my heart. He was my soul mate and never expected to be going thru this , not at my age of 47! My kids don't understand and I am glad I came here because I would post stuff on Facebook and they would get upset. But the love you have for your kids is different than you have for your significant other! I love my kids very much but it is just not the same without my honey here with me. I will keep coming back here to read what you all write and see how others are coping.
Take care everyone and try and have a good nights sleep.
Joanne
Hi, I am new here also. I followed a link I found online. I lost my husband from leukemia on January 27, 2009. He would have been 57 on January 31. We would have been married 34 years on May 10, 2009. He was my best friend. We did almost everything together, spoke often during the day, texted, etc. etc.

I've never read or joined sites like this, I've always been worried that they would keep me stuck in the grief stage, if you know what I mean. Instead of moving on.

I've tried to move on and I am somewhat better, just so lonely, although I don't want anyone new in my life, I just want my husband back. I talked to a therapist and he's not sure I've accepted my husband's death - and emotionally I don't think I have.

I responded to this link because of the Shop Rite statement, about seeing an elderly couple together. I too thought we would grow old together.....in rocking chairs on the porch, holding hands.....that our ending would be together.

I have two grown sons and a granddaughter. I live an hour away from my one son and my other son and granddaughter is in NJ, I'm in SC. I've thought of moving closer to one, or the other, but I love my home and so did my husband. And the bottom line is, no one is going to fix this for me. I know I'll be okay, I'm very strong willed - I just wish my life had more meaning. Believe it or not.....it's my two dogs that keep me going, lol....they keep me in the present.

I was told about the firsts. That after the first year, life wouldn't be so hard. I haven't found that to be true.

I'm going to read more of the entries on this site - who knows....I may read something here that clicks with me.

I wish you all the very best.
Jane

Joanne M. Imperatore said:
Thank you. and I also talk to Bob everyday. Mostly when I am in bed and looking at his picture and even when I turn the lights out I ask him to come lay with me and hold me. It is so hard not having him here with me. We planned to grow old together. One day I was at ShopRite in the parking lot and I saw an elderly couple loading groceries into their car and I started crying because Bob should've been here with me and that would have been us when we were older. He liked to go food shopping with me. Sometimes it is the little things like that get to me.
It has been 7 months since my wife and best friend Karen passed away. This has been the worst thing that ever happened to me in my 60 years. We where married for 35 yrs, and together for 39. I am glad I found this site, since I see that I am not the only one that talks to their lost spouse. She suffered quite a bit in the 3 months prior to her passing, and was sick for 4 yeears, most of the time she handled it well, but when she was told that the treatments weren't working, it went downhill kind of fast. I know my worst time will happen soon I will be going to a family gathering and see some of my relatives that I haven't seen since her funeral,this will be the fist time being alone in many years. I do feel she is with me, and my faith is what keeps me going, hoping that someday we will be toghter again.
It has been 7 months since my wife and best friend Karen passed away. This has been the worst thing that ever happened to me in my 60 years. We where married for 35 yrs, and together for 39. I am glad I found this site, since I see that I am not the only one that talks to their lost spouse. She suffered quite a bit in the 3 months prior to her passing, and was sick for 4 yeears, most of the time she handled it well, but when she was told that the treatments weren't working, it went downhill kind of fast. I know my worst time will happen soon I will be going to a family gathering and see some of my relatives that I haven't seen since her funeral,this will be the fist time being alone in many years. I do feel she is with me, and my faith is what keeps me going, hoping that someday we will be toghter again.

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