I Need Him in my Dreams...

I see on here that alot of you have dreams about your loved one. Brad has been gone 1 year and 15 days and only once I had a dream where I saw Brad so briefly, it was like he was driving by and he had a smile on his face and waved at me. It was so short, I woke up right away and cried, wishing it would have been longer, that I could have seen him more and that he would have said something. That was the only time he was in my dreams. My daughters have had dreams about him, but not me. Does anyone have any ideas why?? I have smelled his scent a couple of times in the garage where we spent alot of time working together on cars. When that happens I just sit there and take deep breaths to take it all in. I really need to see him in my dreams, I miss him so and if I could only he would come to me in my dreams, it would give me some peace.

Thanks to everyone for your support. I'm trying to be positive but if the dreams would come it sure would make me feel better.

Hugs to all of you, my friends

Barb

Recommend

0 members like this

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on August 20, 2010 at 10:44pm

I feel the same as you do. I saw Bo in my dreams twice and it was a fast glimpse and he was not relating to me in the dream. I ask him everyday to please come to me in a dream if only for one time to hold me, kiss me and call me Baby Girl........please, just once.

Permalink Reply by Marlena on August 20, 2010 at 10:57pm

Barb,

I keep wishing for that one perfect dream. I have had a few dreams about Tom. In the first few I had, Tom was very angry in the dreams, slowly he got better. He still never talks to me in the dreams.

I wish I knew the answer to help you to have dreams of Brad. I have been told that if the grief is very strong it's almost like a shield being put up so that our loved ones cannot get through. I've also heard that if we really want to dream about them we need to ask them to come to us. I ask every night; it doesn't quite work the way I wish it would.

Maybe by asking openly here he will be able to come to you tonight. I hope so.

Sweet dreams (of only Brad).

Permalink Reply by Patricia L. Herrera on August 21, 2010 at 6:32am

Barb,
I keep wishing for a dream of my beloved but nothing yet. Maybe it's to soon. He died on March 22, 2010. I keep praying to see just a glimpse of him telling me he is "okay"!!! I keep praying and asking God to please let my Ray come in my dreams just one time....I wont' ask for anymore. It's so lonesome without him. Tonight I couldn't sleep, I've been up all night, holding on to his pillow and weeping. I so want to feel his presence one more time. Just when I think I'm getting better, I slide back into sadness. Well Barb, I'm going to try to get my act together. I've been attending Hospice Group Grieving sessions and I've got one this morning. So, you take good care of yourself. Continue to think positive and we will get our dreams.
Hugs and God bless,
Pat in Texas

Permalink Reply by bc on August 21, 2010 at 7:17am

Pat, I'm so sorry for your recent loss, Its been over a year for me, and still nothing. I want so much to see his smile again and have him tell me everything is ok.
Good for you to go to a grief support group. I've tried a couple, first it was only 5 weeks and that was too soon. Now I've found one that makes me comfortable and when I leave I do feel better so I'm going to stick with it for awhile.
Sorry to say the feelings never go away, I'm told it just gets easier to deal with. I look at it this way, after all the love Brad gave me and everything he taught me, the least I can do for him is to try and be positive, he always gave me strength when I was down, so I ask him every day to give me the strength to get through this. I'm just waiting for the night he comes to me in my dreams...hope you have a positive day, let me know how the group goes today. God Bless You!

Patricia L. Herrera said:

Barb,
I keep wishing for a dream of my beloved but nothing yet. Maybe it's to soon. He died on March 22, 2010. I keep praying to see just a glimpse of him telling me he is "okay"!!! I keep praying and asking God to please let my Ray come in my dreams just one time....I wont' ask for anymore. It's so lonesome without him. Tonight I couldn't sleep, I've been up all night, holding on to his pillow and weeping. I so want to feel his presence one more time. Just when I think I'm getting better, I slide back into sadness. Well Barb, I'm going to try to get my act together. I've been attending Hospice Group Grieving sessions and I've got one this morning. So, you take good care of yourself. Continue to think positive and we will get our dreams.
Hugs and God bless,
Pat in Texas

Permalink Reply by bc on August 21, 2010 at 7:19am

I too ask Brad always to just come to me in my dreams and tell me I'm going to be okay, to let me know he is here and to hold me once more. Maybe its part of the grieving process but some people tell me they have many dreams. I wish I knew the secret to having this.

BoLynn said:

I feel the same as you do. I saw Bo in my dreams twice and it was a fast glimpse and he was not relating to me in the dream. I ask him everyday to please come to me in a dream if only for one time to hold me, kiss me and call me Baby Girl........please, just once.

Permalink Reply by bc on August 21, 2010 at 7:22am

Marlena, I've also heard that if the grief is very strong (which mine has been) they won't come in our dreams, I ask him always, and he always did everything I asked him to do. Maybe one night soon, please Brad come to me in my dreams and smile again for me. I'm waiting...

Marlena said:

Barb,

I keep wishing for that one perfect dream. I have had a few dreams about Tom. In the first few I had, Tom was very angry in the dreams, slowly he got better. He still never talks to me in the dreams.

I wish I knew the answer to help you to have dreams of Brad. I have been told that if the grief is very strong it's almost like a shield being put up so that our loved ones cannot get through. I've also heard that if we really want to dream about them we need to ask them to come to us. I ask every night; it doesn't quite work the way I wish it would.

Maybe by asking openly here he will be able to come to you tonight. I hope so.

Sweet dreams (of only Brad).

Permalink Reply by deborah diggs on August 21, 2010 at 11:46pm

Barb I know exactly what you mean, I have had dreams of Byron, but not the way I want. He's been with me for a moment, but I still haven't heard him say "I am alright", my belief system tells me tht he is just perfect now, but I so want to hear it from him. Its been 5 months and ,I think I have only dreamed of him about 3 or 4 times,and none of them have been helpful. In two of them he is still sick, and that cannot be right. I want him to vist me and let me see him in his new body, but I want to see that same face tht i loved so much. I feel tht I can get some closure if I can see him and talk to him in my dreams. Friends of mine have told me that , they have dreamed of him, and had good conversations but not me.....I feel jealous.....and a little slighted....
Debbie

Permalink Reply by bc on August 22, 2010 at 8:29am

I know Deborah, it would make me feel so much better if I could just see him in my dreams, I need to see his smile again just to know he's happy, well and ok. I keep waiting, hope you get your dream soon! I guess all we can do is just wait. Hugs to you, hope you get some comfort!
Barb

deborah diggs said:

Barb I know exactly what you mean, I have had dreams of Byron, but not the way I want. He's been with me for a moment, but I still haven't heard him say "I am alright", my belief system tells me tht he is just perfect now, but I so want to hear it from him. Its been 5 months and ,I think I have only dreamed of him about 3 or 4 times,and none of them have been helpful. In two of them he is still sick, and that cannot be right. I want him to vist me and let me see him in his new body, but I want to see that same face tht i loved so much. I feel tht I can get some closure if I can see him and talk to him in my dreams. Friends of mine have told me that , they have dreamed of him, and had good conversations but not me.....I feel jealous.....and a little slighted....
Debbie

Permalink Reply by bc on August 22, 2010 at 8:29am

Barb I know exactly what you mean, I have had dreams of Byron, but not the way I want. He's been with me for a moment, but I still haven't heard him say "I am alright", my belief system tells me tht he is just perfect now, but I so want to hear it from him. Its been 5 months and ,I think I have only dreamed of him about 3 or 4 times,and none of them have been helpful. In two of them he is still sick, and that cannot be right. I want him to vist me and let me see him in his new body, but I want to see that same face tht i loved so much. I feel tht I can get some closure if I can see him and talk to him in my dreams. Friends of mine have told me that , they have dreamed of him, and had good conversations but not me.....I feel jealous.....and a little slighted....
Debbie

Permalink Reply by Marlena on August 29, 2010 at 9:56pm

Barb,

I had to share my dream with you. Every night before I go to sleep I ask Tom to come to me in a dream. Like I said before I am still wishing for that perfect dream...it still hasn't happened.

But last night of course I went through my ritual asking him to come to me and I did the wish upon a star thing, too... I'm willing to try anything. I did dream, of course Tom wasn't in the dream, but in my dream I was walking on the old road I grew up on and every house had balloons in their yard. They were heart shaped balloons just like I had for Tom at the funeral (I had 25 heart shaped I love you balloons to represent our 25 years married). Anyway in my dream I kept thinking how sweet all these people were for decorating their lawns with these balloons for their loved one, it must be valentine's day...
When I woke up I realized the balloons were meant for me...it was Tom's way of letting me know how much he loves me and even if he can't come into my dreams at least he could still show me. That made me start today with a little extra bounce in my step.

Okay, so maybe I will do anything to rationalize my dream and make it fit to what I wish for...but I'll take it any way I can!

Just had to share....I still hope you are able to get your good dream.

Hugs coming your way!

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on August 30, 2010 at 8:03am

Barb: the time will come before you know you will again see Brad in your dreams. maybe he is in the daughters dreeams because he wants to let them know he is ok there are so many reasons that we could think of but we will never know what is really going on with the dreams what they mean. it was funny but i would go into george computer room and one day last week i smelled smoke i know he was there and i felt safe. Barb again like i said you will dream of him and he will come to you i pray that this will happen for you. hugs

Permalink Reply by kathleen caylor on August 30, 2010 at 12:35pm

Recently,after a trip to the cemetery.My parting words were"O.K.Ern,it's your turn to come see me!"And he did!!Then one morning whenI wasn't fully awake,I felt the warmth of his hand on the small of my back,Very comforting.My daughter had a dream on my birthday,She said her dad came to her and said"I hate to see you so sad.Please don't be,even though you don't see me,I'm always watching over you."She tried to go back to sleep to recapture that moment but couldn't.I think when we least expect it they are there for us.Good luck,I hope it happens soon for you.