How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh I, I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I
Oh, how do I live

Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, oh Baby, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I
Oh, how do I live

Please tell me baby
How do I go on

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go

How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I
Oh, how do I live

How do I live without you
How do I live without you baby
How do I live

I finally found these words without having to listen to the singer.  All I wanted to do was make the point that I will never have an answer.  I was mistaken about the meaning to this song.  On January 1, 1998 a very dear person who befriended me and I talked with for hours on the phone every night for 7 months and my husband never complained because she helped me so much.  A week after my friend died I was doing my walking at the Y and this song came on by Leann Rhymes and I cried silently to myself.  When I heard 'How do I live without you' I thought it meant that the singer was talking about someone who left her.  But I never really heard, "If you ever leave" and so I was really shocked.  I don't have an answer since he (my husband) really did go without me, I am living this horrible nightmare when I think, "how do I get through one (more) night without you", "how do I live without you", "how do I breathe without you", "how do I ever, ever survive", "how do I ever go on" because my answer is "I can't," "I can't, "I can't," "I can't," "I can't."  He is my world, my heart and my soul.  Everything good that was in my life was taken away when he died.  Now, there is no sun in my sky, there is no love in my life, Danny, I can't get through one night without you, I can't live without you, I can't breathe without you and I will never, ever survive without you. I think I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life weeping for you.  I don't want to, but I can't get over you.  I think in years to come when I'm gone all those who will live here in this apartment after me will hear ghostly cries, me sobbing, weeping, laughter turned into tears because they just keep coming, an internal waterfall of tears that stop only momentarily.  They will most likely have to ask 'who used to live here' and they would find out it was Dan & Sue, it must be Sue that you hear crying because it was he who died first.

Suzanne (Sue)

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Replies to This Discussion

Suzanne, what wrenching words. I take it day by day.sometimes it is in smaller increments. I try not to think about the future without him. I talk about him to anyone who listens. I cry. I remember happy times. I go to work every day. I cry some more. I make myself go places and do things. Sometimes I ask a friends to go with me, sometimes I just go alone. I cry again. Sometimes, I cry in public, and I let the tears fall. I always have tissues with me. Dave died 9 months ago, and some days I feel a shift in myself. I want to let go of the pain and live on the happy memories. Other days, the sadness and pain come out of left field and I am laid low. It is like a roller coaster ride. We are all on this ride. Maybe, one day, the ride will not have such deep lows. I find being here, reading the posts of others helps me to go on. I am not alone. We are all at different stages, and I remember the profound pain and sadness in the beginning. Allow y yourself the time you need to grieve. You will and can go on. Hugs!.

Suzanne I feel the same way. Inwardly it is a miserable life now. Outwardly many things are much the same, although the most significant person in my life is gone. Sometimes I get by just thinking that I'm one day closer to joining him with each passing day. Doctors seem to think this is depression but it's not. I am doing my very best to continue the life we shared as much as I can. I work, go to school and have even started new activities and new friendships. I want to lead a happy, productive life and make him proud, but I miss him with all that I am. I want & need him back more than anything ever in my entire life. You & others like us remain in my prayers & I am so thankful we have this place of support to come to.

Hugs & best wishes today & everyday~ Christy

Hi Maggie and Christy,

Thank you both for your replies and I know we are all in this, it just seems like we are alone but we are not.  You both are inspirational in how you are living your lives.  Once in a while I need to keep in touch.  We all grieve in slightly different ways and for me I feel I need to share what I'm still feeling.  Sometimes I feel like the pain is not so intense.  But then other times I feel that because I am living with the knowledge that he is gone and now that the shock has worn off, I think I am slowly going insane. I still dread being an elderly woman at 95 and still being here without him.  I don't believe it, but I can almost understand others who think that it's this life that is hell.  But I know better.  So, I have to say that I still honestly believe God is getting me from one day to the next plus I have the benefit of coming to these sites and getting the support and compassion from you all here and I feel relief, validated and comforted.  You are both very kind.  I remember you in my prayers as well.  Take care.

God bless,

Suzanne

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