I wish LouAnn was still here.I wish that my pal and confidant was here. I wish that I could have the meals that only she could make and that I will never eat again.I wish for her way of knowing the mood I was in and the way she could tell if my back was really hurting.I wish for the caring and understanding that always was there and is now gone.I wish for the friends and family who disappeared when she died suddenly.I wish that I could smile and laugh and have some contentment.I wish to have some enjoyment once again. I wish that I could be the man and human being I once was.I wish that all of the deaths that have happened to me in the last 17 months didnt happen.I wish that I could "strut my stuff",be happy, show off and be myself.I wish that I could find a reason,a purpose and a meaning now in life.I wish that peolple would give "two hoots" about me and what its like now to be alone and empty.I wish that there was that touching and holding and talking and that some one who had the same thought that you had at the same time.I miss going anywhere without company riding along with me.I miss these and many more that there are.I wish I could be more positive.I wish my heart,soul and sprit was back and intact. Guess I am feeling down.
I wish I could hold each and everyone of you and tell you "its okay.its ok". I thank so much for this site. I thank you all for being here to share all of our problems. Our ups and downs. Our good and bad things. Just to listen and not judgemental and critisize
How I wish that LouAnn was still with you and that Phil was still with me and Virginia still had Mike, and Barb still had her husband and Peggy still had Harry but that just isn't going to happen. We are all in the same situation and it stinks. How I wish that it were not so!!! My heart is breaking. My husband is on my mind day and night. I remember all the fun times we had. I remember when we first started dating and going to dances and drive-in movies together. I remember bringing our first child home from the hospital and putting her in her crib and standing there together and thinking "Now what the heck do we do". Life is much too short. I wish we could relive our lives again starting from the moment we met. I think I am just rambling. I am now reliving October of 2009 when Phil was in the hospital. Today is 1 year since they needed to put him on the ventilator. Over the next few days, they took him off and then had to put him back on and sedated him and we were never able to speak to each other again. October 15th is our 47th wedding anniversary. I spent my anniversary last year sitting by his hospital bed and crying because he could not even know what day it was or even that I was sitting there. I am sorry but this is an exceptionally bad time of the year for me.
And, Yes, this website and all the people on it are the best friends that we could have right now. Even though we have never met and maybe never will, I really believe that we are all close friends. Only we could understand what the other person is feeling now. May God Bless each and every one of you and I thank God and Steve for creating this site.