If we are near death, do we see loved ones waiting for us?

I have heard others saying their loved ones,when near death, have seemed to see someone who is not in the room - maybe someone waiting for them to pass. I did not have this experience the night Charlie died, but I recently found out (from a conference I had with his doctors) that he was much worse off when he was admitted than I had thought. I kept thinking many of the horrible things that happened to him were from the hopitalization. I even wished I had not called 911. We had just gotten home from the hospital because he had surgery for a broken wrist. I could not get him to wake up and he needed to pain and post transplant meds. When he did wake up he was really out of it. He was tearing at his splint and his clothes and kept calling for his Mom (she died in 2000). I thought it was a reaction to pain meds and for a long time blamed myself for him going to the hospital where he later died. To help myself with this, I asked his doctors what they thought would have happened if I had just let him sleep. To my surprise they said he likely would have died that night. It just dawned on me tonight, that maybe he saw his Mom waiting for him? I have always thought of him being reunited with her, but tonight for the first time I spoke to her,too.

Has anyone else had the experience of their loved one "seeing" someone waiting for them?

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Permalink Reply by Carol Kayser on June 1, 2012 at 2:04am

Hi Julie. I have read a few books around this and some people, of course not all, get "panicky" because they feel the end is near and they must have things in order. It could be that he saw/felt his mom waiting for him and began to panic about wanting to be with her. Some other things relate to being in a transitory death state "crossing over" which can take a couple of days and during that time things come into their mind. I believe there can be presences of loved ones around so I tend not to be skeptical.

Carol

Permalink Reply by Charlotte Steer on June 1, 2012 at 8:22am

I have also read many books and people do sense those who have passed over waiting for them. It is so easy to second-guess ourselves when we're going through those actual moments. I called 9-1-1 for my husband too and have spent every moment since then regretting it. He didn't have an advanced directive because he never believed he would died and I had to do all but throw myself over his body to keep them from doing CPR.

But you know, we react without thinking. This is what we've heard our whole lives....when there's a problem call 9-1-1. I worked in ER as an RN and knew there was no hope but I still did it. And then when the operator tried to keep me on the line to give me "instructions", I gave her the address, phone number, and threw the phone across the room. All I did was straighten him up so he had an open airway but I have relived that day over and over again wishing I had done things differently. He has visited me and he is with his family...he and his mom have reconciled and his Grandpa and my mom were there to meet him when he crossed over. I went to see a psychic and she told me things no one could possible know.

Please don't second guess yourself. You did what was right at that moment and I feel sure his mom was there to meet him as he crossed over into God's kingdom. Blessings and hugs to you and yours.

Charlotte

Permalink Reply by Vee on June 1, 2012 at 10:56am

A resounding yes. So many of my family members have had this experience, countless. It started for me when my grandmother died when I was a wee girl. My grandmother saw her parents and siblings. I would spend a lot of time with her in her bedroom after her stroke, which only affected her ability to walk. Her mind and her speech were as sharp as a tack. We would be laughing and talking, and all of a sudden she would turn the conversation to her dead family; she obviously was seeing them. Before she died, she began to say, "Come on and take me with you. You know the way."

My father kept telling my mom that he was dreaming about all of his brothers and sister who was deceased and his parents. He was extremely perplexed by it. My mom told him he'd probably been thinking about them. A week later he had an accident, and he was gone.

My mother one night screamed in her bedroom and my brother and I ran upstairs, thinking she'd had a bad dream. She pointed to a corner of the room and told us "Katie is over there." My aunt, who I'd never known, had died more than forty-some years prior to this after a house fire. My mother passed away about two weeks later.

My mother's sister had asked my mother, who at the time of the fire had three small children, to take her daughter, Mary, and to raise her like her own; my mother did so. Unfortunately, Mary was the only one who didn't make it to the hospital before mama died. Mary grieved and grieved over that. She phoned me a month before 9/11 and told me she had seen my mom and dad in her yard. I felt chills run up and down my spine. One month later, she had hernia surgery and never recovered.

My final example is my dear sweet Lawrence. We began hearing noises that frightened us. Lawrence's father had recently passed only seven months before Lawrence died. Lawrence grew frightened, and would ask me questions about people seeing the dead. It didn't dawn on me that he was asking me for a reason. Within a few short weeks, I walked in and he was gone.

I have no scientific proof. Only the proof of my experiences with those who are about to crossover. But do you know what? After all the previous instances of this phenomenon, I still didn't pick up on it for Lawrence. Maybe if I had I could have prayed and asked the Lord to not take him. I guess the blind side was God's protective shield, to protect me from something I couldn't have handled. What I would say to you is if you saw his mom, and you are not ready to go--please, for the sake of those that love you--ask God to lengthen your time. Hezekiah did this in the "Bible," I in the believe the "Old Testament," and God granted him more time.

I keep you in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by Julie Larsen on June 1, 2012 at 12:28pm

Vee, I would say you have proof. Your family must have strong spiritual connections. Would it have helped if you had caught on with Lawrence? I don't know. I'm afraid we really can't change things. So I didn't catch on when Charlie was calling for his Mom. I think he must have been seeing her. I can't decide if I wish I had known. I don't know what I would have done differently if anything. It's just that now when I think about it it comforts me to know she was there for him. Charlie was so sick waiting for his transplant that we couln't go to Colorado to visit her before she died. They were close and it hurt him.

I did not see her the other night, It's just that when I came to the realization that he must have seen her i decided to include her when I spoke to him that night.

I believe in God and I believe Charlie is waiting for me. I keep hoping it is not wrong to also believe that our loved ones watch over us after death, because I do. I also believe in the power of dreams.

Thank you for sharing the examples from your family.

Permalink Reply by Julie Larsen on June 1, 2012 at 12:36pm

Charlotte,

I do keep second guessing myself. I don't know why, it does no good. I also relieve so much like you. That time between when I called 911 and when they got here seemed like an eternity. She kept sayin stay on the line, too, but I couldn't. I had to do something so Charlie wouldn't hurt himself.

I'm so glad he has visited you and you know what's going on. So far Charlie has visited me in dreams (ones that I believe are actually contact) For the rest I need to ask more questions. I hope he has been reunited with his Dad as well as his Mom and also my Dad.

I have to believe God shows us these things to comfort us.

Charlotte Steer said:

I have also read many books and people do sense those who have passed over waiting for them. It is so easy to second-guess ourselves when we're going through those actual moments. I called 9-1-1 for my husband too and have spent every moment since then regretting it. He didn't have an advanced directive because he never believed he would died and I had to do all but throw myself over his body to keep them from doing CPR.

But you know, we react without thinking. This is what we've heard our whole lives....when there's a problem call 9-1-1. I worked in ER as an RN and knew there was no hope but I still did it. And then when the operator tried to keep me on the line to give me "instructions", I gave her the address, phone number, and threw the phone across the room. All I did was straighten him up so he had an open airway but I have relived that day over and over again wishing I had done things differently. He has visited me and he is with his family...he and his mom have reconciled and his Grandpa and my mom were there to meet him when he crossed over. I went to see a psychic and she told me things no one could possible know.

Please don't second guess yourself. You did what was right at that moment and I feel sure his mom was there to meet him as he crossed over into God's kingdom. Blessings and hugs to you and yours.

Charlotte

Permalink Reply by Julie Larsen on June 1, 2012 at 12:39pm

Carol, I am not really skeptical either. I believe Charlie is here with me now just waiting for me to come with him. It gives me comfort to know he "saw" his Mom. I'm sure she took him home.

Carol Kayser said:

Hi Julie. I have read a few books around this and some people, of course not all, get "panicky" because they feel the end is near and they must have things in order. It could be that he saw/felt his mom waiting for him and began to panic about wanting to be with her. Some other things relate to being in a transitory death state "crossing over" which can take a couple of days and during that time things come into their mind. I believe there can be presences of loved ones around so I tend not to be skeptical.

Carol

Permalink Reply by Vee on June 1, 2012 at 1:45pm

Julie, thank you so much for understanding. I guess I misunderstood you about seeing Charlie's mom. Truthfully, ever since I visited the cemetery last week for Memorial Day and put flowers on Lawrence's grave, I have not been the same. I guess I was protecting myself emotionally, but when I saw his name on that grave plaque, it made it too real. It is like I'm going through a second wave of grieving. I am again struggling, but I now know how to pull myself out of it. Yes, dreams do help us. I do see him sometimes. I know that when my time comes--I hope way down the road--he will be standing there waiting for me with so many friends and family. I am not an old woman, just a woman who has danced with grief on a whole lot of occasions.

You take care, too.

Permalink Reply by Julie Larsen on June 1, 2012 at 2:12pm

Vee, I just got back from the cemetery. Today is seven weeks since Charlie's funeral. I'm lucky we live just three miles from the small country church where he is buried. I can go into the church to pray ( although these days I hardly know what to pray for) and then sit by his grave. It's a small cemetery and out in the country so usually I can be alone. I chose a spot overlooking the rolling Iowa farmland we love. It is all so very unreal to me still. I guess when there is a stone it will be more real. I'm sorry you were hit in the face with reality. I'm still in the planning stage for a stone. About a month after Charlie died I went to talk to them. I was in a lot better shape then than I am now, so I haven't been back yet. There's no grass on the mound of dirt yet so it can still seem temporary. I go over twice a week, usually on Monday (the day he died) and on Friday (the day he was buried). This is probably obcessive so I don't tell anyone but those of you on this site. I know he is not there because he is here at home with me but it still feels right to do it.

I am sort of an old woman (I'll be 66 next month) but I've always said I was young on the inside. Now I feel like I'm 80 both inside and out. I can not yet say that I am hoping for a long life.

I'm so sorry for your struggles. It never ends, soes it?

Permalink Reply by janice shannon on June 1, 2012 at 4:27pm

I believe that we do see loved one waiting for us, I have witnessed it with both my mom and husband. I think that dreams associated with death are God's way of telling us things are about to change. I don't believe that we could do anything to change what is happening but I definitely think it is God telling us to be ready for a change. It is also very comforting to think that loved ones come for you when your time on earth is done.

Janice

Permalink Reply by Julie Larsen on June 1, 2012 at 9:28pm

Janice, I agree with you. I think if I had realized Charlie saw his Mom I might still have called 911, but at least when he was in ICU and I thought he would somehow recover I might have tried harder to have that "last " discussion.

If we could not think we'd be with loved ones after we die, I don't know what I would do.
janice shannon said:

I believe that we do see loved one waiting for us, I have witnessed it with both my mom and husband. I think that dreams associated with death are God's way of telling us things are about to change. I don't believe that we could do anything to change what is happening but I definitely think it is God telling us to be ready for a change. It is also very comforting to think that loved ones come for you when your time on earth is done.

Janice

Permalink Reply by janeo on June 2, 2012 at 10:29pm