Today is a very bad day. I've looked for him everywhere, but my husband isn't in his old coats, he isn't in the clothes he used to wear and he isn't in his car or my truck. He's not at his piano or hiding in the sheet music. He's not at his computer or in his cds, X-box or Wii. I've looked inside and outside, and through all the photos. I see traces of him and sometimes I hear a whisper or smell something familiar, but when I breath or move, it's gone. Sometimes I think that if I keep searching enough I'll find him. He wouldn't hide from me on purpose and he knows how worried I get about things. But I've looked and looked and I still can't find him.

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There have been a few times in my life that have proven to me thre must be a God looking over us. I do thre is a better place we will go to and see our loved ones again. Thanks for sharing this with us. Jerry
Hi to all, yes I have had plenty of things happen that had to come from up above. With the "signs" I got after LouAnn died suddenly. I know that there is a heaven and I know that God has a special angel in LouAnn. God also has another card player too and cook.
I too, have a 4 year old grand daughter who remembers LouAnn and treasures the photos of her being held by her. With the disappointments from our families, who would believe that a 4 year old would "shine" thru this.
I hope that we all can find peace with our losses and the new experiences that we have to conquer somehow. There are so many memories and nightmares for us. We all share with you and understand.
Your welcome Jerry,
I have been reading your post too. God be with you. I know when my husband's Birthday comes, and soon Christmas, its going to be a sad time, so I know celebrating your wife's Birthday will be hard day.

I have a lot of picutres & home videos of Tim I even have his last voice mail. When I miss him (which is almost always) I talk a minute to listen to his voice mail or watch the videos. Boy does this hurt but after the hurt I think it really helps me. I end up feeling closer to him. I to believe that Tim is in a better place and even through he is not here physically with me that he is here and watching over me. I have found a lot of peace on this web site and hopefully you can to. I'm so sorry for your loss. We are all here for you and we do understand what your going through. Take care


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