Leaving the Site

Dear Friends,

I am going to be leaving this site and I will tell you why. It has been 18 months since Douglas died and a lot has changed for me. The first year was the most difficult and I still have moments of anxiety but I have discovered that I deal with things so differently. I have actually discovered that I am on the path of healing!! That is a good thing. One lesson that I have learned from Douglas's dying is that everyone I know will experience the tragedy of losing a spouse at some point in their life. And I will be there to help them get through the agony, fear, and sense of hopelessness. There will be no "thoughtless" comments coming from me! I have also accepted that Douglas completed what he had been put on this earth to accomplish. His death has also taught me to be more patient, loving and accepting of things that I have absolutely no control over (and quite frankly, none of us controls anything) -- if we had control our spouses might still be here with us. I don't remember much of the first year and that is probably for the best. However, my new normal has opened many doors. I am moving closer to my daughter, I have been offered a manager's position, and I find that I smile more. Every thought I have of Douglas makes me smile as I remember one of the many memories I have of the 32 years we were a couple. My daughter commented the other day that I have changed. Yes, I have and it is not a bad thing. I give credit to Douglas for showing me how to remain young at heart, loving, and patient. I am blessed to have had him in my life for 32 years. He is in my heart and mind always.

So, dear friends, farewell and best wishes to all of you. The road of grief has been painful and a struggle. Each of you helped me along and continue to do so. I will be checking in periodically for sure. Take care!

Peace,

Brigitte

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Edler Sterling Broussard on January 7, 2011 at 10:03am

I'm happy for you, good luck Brigitte. Ed

Permalink Reply by Hurting on January 7, 2011 at 10:38am

Brigitte Hi, I am very happy that you are on path of recovery. My husband left on December 23, 2009 and I still hurt a lot. I am glad that you posted this message because it gives me hope that if not today or tomorrow, one day in future I will actually be able to start living again. I wish you all the best in your comiing days and keep me posted.

Permalink Reply by Kathy King Kates on January 7, 2011 at 11:00am

Bridgette: So happy for you and your new road. Yes, we wll all be moving on in our journey and its been great having you here sharing your stories. Best of luck to you and your family.

Permalink Reply by Kim on January 7, 2011 at 7:50pm

Brigitte,

I am happy for you and wish you the best of luck. Your road to recovery gives me so much hope. It has only been 7 months since my husband passed away and I am still pretty lost. I am hoping one day I will smile more often than I cry. I know this experience will change all of us in one way or another. God Bless You!

Permalink Reply by Barbara Roth on January 7, 2011 at 8:04pm

Bridgette, I am happy for you. There IS a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I wish you all the best, come back and give us more words of encouragement. God bless you and your family.

Permalink Reply by Kathy King Kates on January 7, 2011 at 9:08pm

Bridgette: I wanted to thank you for letting us know you planned to be leaving us. It's nice when we know that others are moving on so we won't be worrying about them. Thx again for thinking of all of us..

Permalink Reply by Donna Halacy on January 7, 2011 at 10:56pm

So glad you are doing so much better.

I too am leaving the site. But not for the same reason.

I have belonged here for quite a while and I have written when I was reallly down and needed someone to say something and I have never had a comment from anyone. I have found no help here at all. I am glad for the rest of you and hope you continue to do well.

Permalink Reply by eileen parrinello on January 7, 2011 at 11:18pm

To Donna,

hi my name is eileen parrinello and I am new to this site. To be honest i found it a little confusing. I do feel lost I only received two responses from dear people. I to feel the same way, when I feel like I need someone to talk to there is no live open chat. I understand & I am like I said, confused its been 7 months since my husband's passing.anytime you feel like talking write to me maybe we can share tele #'s or something.

hope this makes you feel a little better since I understand your pain.

as for Bridgette, thanks for writing your comment & I hope that I can get to where you are. You showed me that there is a tomorow with a smile so I say, thank-you and may GOD BLESS YOU.

Permalink Reply by Connie on January 8, 2011 at 12:12am

Bridgitte, May God Bless you and I am so happy for you that you have been able to overcome your grief and go on with your life. I have not yet gotten to that point and I don't know if I ever will but it is good to know that it is possible to get there.

The best of luck to you and your family.

Permalink Reply by Connie on January 8, 2011 at 12:17am

Donna, I am so sorry that you did not find the help that you needed on this site. I have been on for over a year now and found much help and comfort here. I am finding now that there are many new people and I don't know their situations or stories and find myself a little lost here. There are not many of the people that I had met and been comforted by still here regularly but I do check and read some of the posts when I can. I wish you the best of luck and again, I am sorry that this did not work for you as well as it did for many of us. May God Bless you.

Donna Halacy said:

So glad you are doing so much better.

I too am leaving the site. But not for the same reason.

I have belonged here for quite a while and I have written when I was reallly down and needed someone to say something and I have never had a comment from anyone. I have found no help here at all. I am glad for the rest of you and hope you continue to do well.

Permalink Reply by Virginia on January 8, 2011 at 7:59am

Brigitte, I am also happy for you, and good luck with your "new" life. hugs

Permalink Reply by Debbie Treadway on January 8, 2011 at 3:13pm

Bridgette, I am so happy that you have been able to move on and wish you the best in your new journeys.

I have only been on this journey for about 4 months so you give me hope that one day I will be able to be where you are. Good luck and may God Bless you.